Sometimes we just have to wait

Sometimes I want to sit so still so no one notices I am there. Sometimes I want to be as quiet as a mouse so I can hear what the universe is whispering to me. Sometimes I wish I could be everything to everyone to make everyone happy even though I know I can’t make anyone else happy but me.

Sometimes I wish I was a magician and could wave my magic wand and bring peace everywhere because sometimes it’s so hard to get people to see the abundance they have right in front of their faces because they are so busy looking for Neverland and the Sugar Plum Fairy.

Sometimes I wish I would not get angry with people who get angry with me. I wish I could remain as calm as I know I should when their attacks and comments start tearing at my heart because I know they are speaking about themselves and not about me. But what I know is that I am human, flawed and with my own scars and sometimes when I am attacked, I attack back. It is those times that I wish I could turn back the hands of time and rewrite what has happened but I can’t because I am human and I do not have a magic wand and I cannot be everything to everyone and I cannot make everyone happy.

I get disappointed sometimes with the place I find myself in and wonder what I did to get there and try to figure a way out of it so the disappointment does not wear me down. It is these time that I repeat to myself over and over again, “I know I am never a victim, I am here to learn particularly when everything and everyone is testing me. “

With this mantra with me,  I look the obstacle in its face and try my hardest to send it love and light and more importantly to give myself love and light so I can feel strong again. And when I can’t change the obstacle because the obstacle is not ready to change, I choose to say nothing, to do nothing but just surrender to whatever it is and wait, have patience to know that the obstacle is there to teach me something and in time it will reveal itself. I tell myself I can’t let it keep pulling me down because then the lesson will take longer for me to learn. Sometimes, I have to know to let it go and trust that everything is being worked out for my highest and best good.  I tell myself I have to surrender and let it go in my own imperfect human way. And wait.