The gift of writing

Yesterday my husband told me that my writing is really starting to flow nicely and instead of taking his statement as a compliment, I immediately became defensive and said, " So what are you saying, my writing wasn't flowing before?"
He looked at me and said, "Typical woman, can't ever take a compliment for what it is. Just accept the compliment and stop being so defensive."
I really felt bad afterwards for taking his moment away from him. What I should have said was thank you and taken his statement as a huge endorsement of my writing. Instead I said, "It's because I do it all the time now."
I thought more about his statement and realised that my defensiveness stems from my childhood where criticisms were more the norm than compliments. So it is very difficult for me to accept when someone compliments me. I am working on trying to change this mode of thinking because what I realise now more than ever is when someone compliments, it makes them feel good just as much as it does the person they are complimenting because compliments come from a place of love.
I also thought about my writing after my husband's statement and realised as with everything in life the more we do something, practice , embrace it, the better we become. That's why professionals have training sessions and practices because they recognise that if they do something all the time the brain focuses on it allowing them to develop skills they would not if they didn't practice. With this sabbatical I have taken from my working life, I have written every single day so writing is now second nature to me. Sometimes I don't even know what I am going to write when I sit down at my computer. Sometimes I look out of the window in my office for ages letting my thoughts run through until something sticks and then I start to write.
This morning I was sitting in the City Hall parking lot waiting for my Yoga Class and watching everyone rushing to work writing my blog and thinking about how fortunate I am to be in this position where I can hone my craft and work at it every single day without the stress of work. I know that this period of my life will come to an end soon but what I now know for sure is that I will continue to write because it is in my blood. It is my passion. I will continue to write because it helps me to exercise my demons. Think deeply about what is going on inside me. Writing allows me to tap into my authentic self over and over again because if forces me to listen to what is going on in my head and allows my thoughts to flow freely without judgement, without fear and without alteration.
Writing is one of the most liberating tools I have found for freeing my mind, for dealing with my inner child issues, for becoming a stronger woman, mother and wife because it allows me to get to know me on a much deeper spiritual level and for tapping into this gift of writing I am truly grateful.
I am also grateful for my job shutting down because it reminded me of what it is that I really need to do in order to lessen the chance of me losing sight of who I truly am again. I now understand why my writing is flowing more because it is coming from my authentic self. So thank you husband for helping me to see that my writing is flowing because what I realise is it's not my writing that is flowing, it is actually me that it flowing.