Birth is violent

"Birth is violent, whether it be the birth of a child or the birth of an idea. Beginning stages are rough. The most giant tree begins as a tiny green sprout, but that sprout pushes dirt out of its way as it forces itself up through the earth to the sunlight.” Iyanla Vanzant

I was reading through all of my Oprah posts and found this timely quote. There is nothing more traumatic and dramatic than giving birth to a child. Every woman that has ever experienced it will know the pain, the planning, the unknown, the fear of becoming a mother. Childbirth is one of the most divine experiences anyone can ever have but it is also one of the most frightening and painful experiences anyone can ever have.

Bonding with this unseen being that is growing inside of us, relying on us for everything, opening our hearts to a love unknown to any of us before. Going through that nine month incubation period, seeing our bodies change, watching our bellies and whatever else grow making room for this new life that we are bringing into the world.

Working with our obstetricians to develop our birthing plan to make sure everything is just so and in the end having to alter that plan because our baby has decided he or she wants to come into this world according to his or her own plan and not according to our own. Learning to remain open to the unexpected and going with the flow. Remembering the words of my obstetrician with my first born when he said, “Even with the best laid plans, be prepared for the unexpected. You people that come in here with these natural childbirth plans, all you need to remember is to be open to whatever it is you need to do to bring a healthy baby into this world because at the end of the day that’s what we are all striving for.”

Remembering those words when my son decided to come fifteen days early then changed his mind once I was fully dilated and went back up into the safety of my womb. Seeing the lights come on and being rushed to have an emergency C-section.  Feeling like such a failure as a woman for not being able to bring my child into the world the way every child was meant to be brought into the world. Forgetting how he came into the world now that he is a growing young man on his way to manhood. My son not knowing nor remembering that I could not deliver him the way my plan dictated.

Just like with childbirth or any birth, the process is violent, unexpected and painful but at the end the reward we get is more than anything we could have ever imagined. A reminder to us that change is a rebirth and comes with pain, regret and trepidation but once it’s done, our minds seal those feelings off opening us to the gift of what we have endured and onto another phase of our lives totally unexpected from anything we could have ever imagined.

Birth is violent, whether it be the birth of a child or the birth of an idea. Let’s remember this when we are experiencing change.