It’s now 4.36 on Saturday afternoon and this is the first opportunity I have had to sit down. I am physically and mentally exhausted. Why do we put so much on our plates that we leave very little time for ourselves, to relax, to centre, to rejuvenate? Why do we have so much stress in our lives?
Saturdays are always write off days as far as creativity is concerned for me because I am too busy taxiing my children to their various Saturday activities. Whatever happened to good old fashioned sitting around watching Saturday morning cartoons then chasing around the neighbourhood?
This morning was extra tiring because it is Pantomime try outs this weekend. My daughter got the acting bug when she did an acting summer camp for two weeks this year and so she wanted to try out. I was hesitant because I know how competitive it can be and her heart was already broken this year when she did not get selected for a Dance Camp she had tried out for. I so desperately wanted to spare her the grief. But, bless her; she was insistent that she try out. I reluctantly agreed to let her because she was so determined to do it and the last thing I want to do is take her confidence away or her courage. When I thought more about it, I thought she is actually gutsy for wanting to try out for something so soon after being rejected by the Dance Camp.
And to prove just how much she wanted to go, this morning we had a very loud and long thunderstorm. Even with the thunder booming outside and the lightning flashing, she got herself dressed and wanted to go for her audition. Through the pouring rain and thunder we went to the audition. When we got there I again questioned whether I was doing the right thing by allowing her to audition because there were eighty six people there to try out for eight spots!!! Some of the children were pros having auditioned several times before. Others were intermediates. Then there were the novices like my daughter. She was very nervous at first until she spotted some of her friends. At which point, she turned to me and said, “Okay mommy, you can leave now. Love you. Bye.”
And just like that I was tossed aside as she walked away with her group ready for her chance on the stage, ready to try again. No regrets. No apprehensions. I walked away with a heavy heart mixed with pride because of my daring little girl. I also knew I could not put my anxieties on her. I had to let her go.
When I picked her up, she was happy. So whether she gets in or not, there’s another notch in her life lessons that you never know if you’re capable unless you try. And sometimes even if you’re capable if you don’t get in, it just means it was not meant for you yet. But most of all what I have learnt from my brave little eight year old daughter, never give up, just keep trying and eventually you will find your niche.
Bravo to my little girl, no matter the outcome, I’m just proud she was not afraid to put herself out there again.
No comments:
Post a Comment