Wednesday, 1 August 2012

It's our differences that make us stronger


I have been reflecting on my family’s recent journey on the Thames because it has had a profound effect on me.  Aside from feeling totally relaxed and in tune with myself, my family and nature, I had a great Aha moment. And it is that people of different cultures and races bring balance to the world because they become open to so many experiences, places, and people they would not have experienced otherwise. My marriage is an example of this. I am a black Bermudian married to a white Englishman, now Bermudian too, who originally hails from the North of England.
We grew up seeing life from two different lenses so we have two very different perspectives on life. Often clashing over the simplest things. But after 22 years of being together, 20 of which as a married couple, I realise it is our differences that make us stronger together. Not our similarities. Because each of us brings something completely different to our marriage. Challenging the other to be the best he or she can be as individuals. Allowing us to grow stronger as a couple.
What I realised from our journey on the Thames together was that when individuals from different backgrounds come together as a couple, each opens the eyes of the other to new experiences. Often existing outside their comfort zone. Adapting to environments they may not be used to being in. Challenging them to come face to face with their own insecurities.
I am really grateful that my family made this journey up the Thames and back again because it opened me and my children up to a different side of England. A whole new means of travelling. Pushing me way outside of my comfort zone only to discover I have a new comfort zone. Making me realise how wonderful it was to challenge myself to do something different while helping my husband to fulfill one of his dreams to helm a river barge.
I had written off going on a cruise again because I realised on our Alaskan cruise last year that I don't like being in the middle of the ocean. So I was apprehensive about going on a barge. But once we were on the river and I was able to see land on either side of me and there was no way we could find ourselves in the middle of an angry ocean, I relaxed completely. Surrendering to the beauty and serenity of cruising down the River Thames seeing animals, homes, people, trees, beautiful gardens, bridges, locks and lockkeepers. And more importantly seeing myself reflected back to me in nature.  I appreciate my husband that much more for helping me to expand my horizons. To experience something completely new.
And for helping me to realise and understand now more than ever that it is our differences not our similarities that help us to grow. Help us to love. Help us to become better people. Better parents to our children because they get to see that existing outside of their comfort zones can be challenging but well worth it in the end. That it is differences not similarities that help us to develop compassion, empathy and self. That the world is not black and white. Instead it consists of many shades in between. And for my multicultural family, I am truly grateful.

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