There is nothing like a lazy day. When you have no plans. No
demands. Nothing that is causing you angst. When you feel free and clear. When
your insides feel clean. Uncluttered. When
you feel like a child with not a care or worry in the world. That is Nirvana.
Bliss.
I am learning to have those days more and more because I am
learning to release attachment, expectation and ego. I am learning that the
more I accept and process the feeling of detachment I earn the wings to fly. To
not feel caged in.
I am learning that when someone does something to me that
disappoints or infuriates me it’s because I expected a different outcome rather
than seeing the situation from the other person’s perspective. When I put
myself in their position I realise they needed to do or say what they did
because they needed to feel worthy for themselves. Not for me.
I am learning that people do things to help themselves grow
not to help me grow. So I am learning to not put my feelings or wishes on them.
Sometimes, I will admit, it is easier to do with certain people and situations
than others. I find that if I am deeply involved with a person, my expectations
of them are much greater and therefore my reactions to them can sometimes be
too volatile or too judgemental. So what I am learning is that I have to step
back from the situation or person and give myself time to breathe. Time to
process the situation and see it from their perspective rather than my own.
And the more I practice this, the more I feel my insides are
getting cleaner. My reactions are becoming less volatile. The disappointment,
anger and frustration are dissipating a lot quicker. And I feel just like the
lazy days I am experiencing more and more. Free and satisfied with where I am.
Because what I realise more and more is that lazy days have
always been there for me to enjoy but I have been so caught up in believing I
had to be doing things to prove myself to others. To give the appearance of
being busy so that I could be considered worthy. But now I know lazy days are synonymous
with feeling good about myself. Giving myself permission to just be. Without
expectation. Without ego. With detachment from all that is going on around me. Knowing I can't change anything except my reaction to it.
And you know what it feels so good to be like this. To be in
the moment. To enjoy every single second of my life. I know I will not be able
to be in this state all the time but when I achieve it, I will enjoy every
single minute of it. As I intend today to have a lazy day. No demands. No expectations.
No plans. Just going with the flow. And see where the moment takes me.
Here’s to lazy days. Freedom
from ego and expectation. Liberation from the shackles of my own mind.
Here’s to Bliss. And accepting I am worthy enough to have lazy days.
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