His Eye is on the Sparrow

Last night I went to see the movie Sparkle with some work colleagues because I am a huge Whitney Houston fan and I wanted to see her swansong before she died. To see if there were any signs of trouble. To try to understand why this great talent is no longer with us. But truthfully I just wanted to see Whitney again. And was I glad I did.

Ms. Whitney looked all powerful, confident and assured in the movie unlike the image we kept seeing splashed of her in her last days looking bedraggled and confused. I was proud of the wizen character she portrayed. The mother who was trying to save her daughters from the pain she went through in the only way she knew how – through the church. Her only salvation.

I was nervous about what I would see. Nervous that Sparkle would be one of those cliché movies and to some extent it was but it redeemed itself in my eyes because it was almost as if Whitney knew she was going and wanted to leave a cleaner legacy of herself behind for her daughter. And her character was spot on. Allowing her real life daughter to see her mother as a mother on the screen. Clean, sober and determined to steer her girls in the right direction. And this makes me immensely happy for her daughter because as a motherless daughter myself I always wished there was something that I could go back to as a touchstone for my mother and now Whitney’s daughter has that. It will ease her pain somewhat to know and see the potential and talent her mother possessed and hopefully will remind her of how quickly life can change when we make choices that go against our potential.

From the moment Whitney came into the movie, I felt a lump in my throat. Every time she appeared tears came to my eyes. To think this woman with such potential and talent died alone in a bathtub from the very vices she warned her movie daughters about was devastating. To think she had been given a second chance by TD Jakes and the Universe by being asked to portray a character who had faced the very demons she was facing in her real life and missed them was sad. To think she missed the very message her character was sending is such a shame.

Watching Whitney sing, His Eye is on the Sparrow, in one of the most touching scenes in the movie was like listening to someone begging for help. For deliverance from the demons that were threatening to pull her into the darkness. To see the tears streaming down her face left me with the feeling that those tears went beyond her character and touched a place deep within her being. But the demons obviously prevailed and she was not meant to beat them. Not meant to shrug them away. Instead she  became the sacrifice for the rest of us including her daughter to understand that though we may portray one image on the outside, if the inside is not right, no matter how hard we try, eventually we will succumb to darkness that resides within us. And no matter how great of an actor we may think we are real life will always prevail.

I walked away from the movie Sparkle with mixed feelings – sadness knowing Whitney is no longer with us as well as joy to know she left behind a great image of who she was and could have been. And more importantly through her character she left behind a lingering message to her daughter and to us all, life is not only about the choices we make. It is also about the choices we don’t make.

May you rest in peace Whitney. His Eye is on the Sparrow.