The Dichotomy of Human Existence

Night before last night my husband and I watched The Iron Lady, the story about Margaret Thatcher. And we were both surprised by the portrayal of her more human side. She always appeared as somewhat aloof. Hard. Strong and determined. And those characteristics of hers were true but the movie showed the vulnerable side of Dame Thatcher that very few got to see. Whether it was an accurate portrayal remains to be seen. But the dichotomy of her character seems so reflective of the life many of us are living today.

The recurring theme to me when watching the movie was whether women can have it all. Whether men can have it all. Whether people can have it all. And based on the movie, I’m not sure if we can. It seems that in the wake of someone’s success, someone else loses out.

Dame Thatcher was one of the most powerful women in the world but she was not able to master her family life because she became the career woman, the first and only British woman Prime Minister. The pressures on her were immense because she had to prove herself worthy not only to her cabinet but to the world and more importantly to herself. So it appears that she drove herself until there was nothing left. And it seems from the movie in order to do so she had to forego her relationship with her children. And to some extent with her husband. Is this what life is meant to be about? Are we meant to succeed at all costs or are we meant to find balance? And for that matter what is balance? How do we achieve it? Has anyone achieved it? Or are we so driven to be somebody that we forget to be?

How is it that we lose sight of what it is we really want out of life and instead get sucked up into the game and become so blinded by its trappings that we don’t even realise we are entangled in the trappings and can’t get out. How is it that we have so much more than our parents and their parents before them but we are much less content? How is it so many of us are feeling there is something missing from our lives?

I believe it is because we spend too much time trying to be somebody rather than doing what we love. Rather than being who we love. Rather than doing what brings us the most pleasure and the reason why we do is because we have been fed this false image of what success is meant to look like.

We spend the majority of our lives racing against the clock. Trying to meet the deadlines that keep getting pushed out on us until life kicks us out before we are ready. Then we are left standing on the sidewalk looking in the window at the newest model taking our place. The new darling of the day. Knowing that they too will be standing on the sidewalk looking in one day because that’s the way life works.

So why do we do it to ourselves? What is driving us to miss out on the everyday success of nature? The way it cooperates, facilitates and knows when its season is done and moves aside for the next. Margaret Thatcher rose to be one of the most powerful women in the world and her people were rallying for her on her ascent but when she became too powerful for the game in their eyes they pulled her down and destroyed her sense of purpose. Why? Because she believed she was more powerful than the game.

When we become something beyond who we are meant to be, when we lose sight of compassion and empathy, life always has a way of bringing us back down to earth and showing us what we are really about.

So at the end of the day we have to learn to be who we are, not what society tells us who we are meant to be. And if we are honest with ourselves we always know who we are. Always. So why do we resist our innermost selves and become something we don’t understand or can’t control? Why?