I woke up very late this morning after a wonderful night out
at our friend’s house. Children were at one side of the house and the adults at
the other. But when midnight came families came together to wish each other the
best and stood in clusters watching the fireworks over the harbour. By that
time none of us was a stranger to the other. We had all dropped the veils and
wished each other well. And the mood at that house certainly spoke of family
and togetherness. Looking from family to family I marvelled at the diversity of
people and expectations we all have as individual and as individual families
but at the base of all of our existence is the desire to love and be loved.
When I opened my eyes, the sun was already streaming through
my windows and I realised with chagrin that I had missed the dawning of the
first light of 2012. Unlike the year before when I felt troubled, this year I
felt a sense of acceptance for where I am mixed with a sense of fear of the
unknown. A sense of knowing it’s time to move to the next chapter of my life.
The sense that I am able to embrace the change that is coming my way – knowing that
sometimes it will bring me to my knees.
Last night everyone wished each other a Happy New Year and
all the best. And there was an incident that really touched my heart and it was
when my son suddenly appeared at my side in all his awkwardness and was willing
to let go of the fact that it is not cool to hug his mother in public anymore.
He looked up at me and said, “Oh, um, Happy New Year. I love you.” Then he
wrapped his arms around me and hugged me looking up at me the whole time. At
first I was completely knocked off guard by his actions but when I looked into
his eyes, I knew it was a big step forward for him. For an instant, I felt like
it was he and I against the world. I
hugged him tightly, blinking back the tears and wished him well too.
My husband and I hugged each other and it has been a really
tough year for us as a couple but the hug was genuine and heartfelt and it solidified
that this year is going to be a year of cementing relationships. Of moving
deeper into the next phase of our marriage. Of trying to be there for each
other.
My daughter stood solidly between us hugging us both. I felt
that my family was going to be okay. A bit bruised from the year but that much
stronger because of it. I looked up at the starry night and whispered thank you
to the Universe for getting us this far.
As I lay in bed reflecting on the happenings of the night
before and thinking about having missed the light coming into the New Year, I realised
it was because I didn’t have to see the darkness turning into the light because
after the events of 2011 I know out of the darkness emerges the most radiant
light when the time is right. I know I needed to just lie in bed with my
daughter snuggled tightly in my arms. I know I needed to watch the light
flicker with the darkness, the clear skies with the clouds, the stillness of
the air with the down pouring of the rain to know that this year will be filled
with constant change sometimes within the blink of an eye but if I continue to
listen to my inner compass, my inner voice I will be okay no matter what.
Here’s to a new me for 2012 and to a new you as well. Ready for
the challenge. Ready to ride the wave. Ready to move to that next level of
higher consciousness. Bring it on 2012 I am ready, willing and more than able
to remain in your flow.
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