Seeing the circle of life through the ocean

It was a picture perfect day yesterday. Sun shining. Humidity low. Air still. I came home after dropping the children of and asked my husband if he wanted to walk with me. He decided on Elbow Beach. We got to the beach, one of the most beautiful beaches in the world and I was aghast. The beach did not look so beautiful because Sargasso has washed ashore and is covering a large portion of the beach. And at first all I could see was the ugliness. The flies. The messiness.

But as we started walking and I felt the sunshine on my face warming my whole body, a feeling of peace washed over me. I removed my jacket which is amazing because it is January to inhale the freshness of the air, the smell of the Sargasso. The smell of the ocean. And then I was able to see beyond the ugliness. The sound of the ocean began to soothe me. To relax me. The waves crashing over the reef making them look like humpback whales frolicking in the waves. The motion of the ocean rhythmic to my ears as the waves washed in and out. Sometimes gently other times with force. The azure blue mixed with turquoise and other shades of blue that are almost indescribable. The scenery was breathtaking. The moment surreal. Sargasso and all.

I watched the water for quite some time feeling so small, so insignificant at the expanse of the ocean compared to the limited amount of land Bermuda has and shivered. I realised if the ocean wanted to, it could swallow us whole and not even notice. Fear rippled through my body as the vulnerability of living on a tiny island in the middle of the North Atlantic took over. The fear turned into memories forcing me to smile as I thought how different I felt when I was a young girl. I thought about how I used to look out at the ocean and its vastness and all I could see was infinity. I used to dream about what other people on other lands were doing. I used to imagine them watching the moon as I did at night and wondered what they thought. The vastness of the ocean didn’t make me feel insignificant then. Instead it used to make me feel free - like there was nothing boxing me in. Like there was a whole world out there waiting for me.

 When I was young I believed there was space for everyone. But now life has taught me the dangers of the ocean and I do not look at it with the same abandonment I did when I was young. Now I look at it with reverence because it moves side by side with my little island bringing in the Sargasso to nourish the beaches, to allow the sand to rebuild after hurricanes and storms, to give the tiny sea creatures the time to thrive, tiny crabs and other tiny creatures I could not identify.

I exhaled long and hard when I realised I was witnessing the circle of life through the ocean. The Sargasso there to replenish the sand. The water sending it in. Ugliness yielding beauty if we look beyond it. Thoughts of my childhood floating in. Visions of my adult life circling through. Everything and everyone, the ugly and the beautiful has its place in this circle of life.  Even when I move beyond this plane, the ocean will still do what it does and so will the Sargasso. We are all intertwined, one in the same, of the same cloth. Living, breathing, growing, exploring, changing all through the circle of life.