Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Gratitude sometimes comes from our darkest hour


It’s amazing to me to discover so many people who have so much but can’t even see or appreciate what they have. There is such pervasive fear snaking throughout our communities that people are holding onto everything they have without realizing that sharing is what opens the door to more. Not hoarding. I hear people over and over again talking about the sky is falling so they are storing just in case. Just in case what?
Remember we are what we attract. We are what we believe. What we focus on, whether good or bad, is what we manifest. I find that when I practice the simple act of gratitude no matter how bad my situation may seem, I instantly realize how much I really do have to be grateful for.
When I was a little girl I used to dream about lots of exotic things. About how much of a big wide world there was out there. I believed in magic and fairy tales until my mother was tragically and suddenly ripped away from me forever. And there was a time when I really didn't understand how I would ever live again. How I would ever smile gain. How I could ever forgive.
My heart, body and soul were shattered. Splintered into a million little pieces. But eventually the guilt and pain started to recede. My heart started to repair. My soul started to heal and I realized I was still on this earth for a reason. That I had a life to live. The life that my mother did not complete.
And soon I understood gratitude. Gratitude for having had her in my life for 13 years. Gratitude for all her life and death taught me and continues to teach me. Simple expressions of gratitude for waking up in the morning taught me how to smile again, laugh again, live again and my life took off again. And believe me here I stand some 36 years later and sometimes I still feel the darkness of her death hanging over me but on those days when I do, I take snapshots of my life through my mind’s photo lens and I realize many many things came out of my mother’s death. Experiences and lessons I may have taken for granted but for her tragic and sudden death.
I realize because I experienced tragedy when I was so young that I know deep down inside no matter how bad it may seem, no matter how dark it may get, eventually the pain will recede, the sun will shine again and I will smile again, laugh again and live again. So there is not much that keeps me in the darkness for long periods of time because I know I have the power to shift whatever comes my way. But more importantly I know that whatever bridge I am meant to cross is there to teach me more about me. And I know above all else that when I practice gratitude even in my darkest hour, when I wake up in the morning and everything around me feels like too much if I say thank you for allowing me to wake up this morning, for the presence of my family, for breathing, for feeling, seeing and being then instantly my mindset shifts.
And when my mindset shifts I open myself to the possibility that exists for me. For us all. And I know I must share the blessings I have. To spread love and light to whomever is receptive. To focus on what I have and what I would like rather than on what I don’t have and what I don’t want. And the easiest way to do so is to express gratitude. For I know that after every storm, comes a rainbow. And for all many blessings, whether they come in the guise of trail or reward, I am truly grateful.  Amen.

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