This weekend my husband and I have watched both of our
children blossoming before our eyes. Both of them experiencing a totally different
city, culture and space to our own and loving every minute of it. Our daughter
saying how much she loves London and now Oxford. The excitement. The people.
She told us she loved taking the tube. The more the better.
According to my husband our daughter got very disappointed when they had to stay
on one train the whole way of their journey. She loved hopping on and off the
tube. Being amongst all the people. Going places and the escalators didn’t phase
her in the least. As a matter of fact she wanted to be the first one on the
escalators every time.
And then our London portion of our trip culminated in our
daughter preforming in a Mama Mia production put on by her one week summer camp
at the Sylvia Young Theatre School. To say my husband and I were surprised by
the quality of the production is an understatement. Particularly since the camp
was only for one week. The children from all parts of the world were en sync
and seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves.
We watched in awe as our daughter came into her own on the
stage. Not in the least bit nervous to be amongst children she was a bit shy of
just five days before. We saw our little girl who came home the first night
disappointed that she did not get that many lines and was anxious to leave the
camp grow into a young lady who decided to show the camp director what she had
and the other children to have her role grow into several lines throughout the
whole play. And by the end of the week had girls running up to hug her and tell
her good bye. Girls exchanging contact details so they could keep in touch with
each other. Strangers no more but kindred spirits who helped each other to put
on a fantastic production.
We were so proud of our daughter for turning a bad situation
into what then worked to her advantage. For seeing first hand that the only
person that was holding her back was herself. For stepping into her own shoes
and becoming what she thought she was capable of becoming in that week. Taking
on the challenge of establishing herself in a land and amongst people foreign
to herself and going for it while loving every aspect of it. We were and still
are proud of her.
Then we got on the train to come to Oxford later that
afternoon to see our wayward son. Yesterday we went to see him in his dorm room
and were stunned to see how much he has grown in the week since we had last
seen him. Now he is almost looking his father in the eyes. His voice deeper
than when we last spoke with him. An independence coming from him since he had
been left by us to experience dorm life. A maturity radiating from his inner
core that was not there before.
Me wanting to stay in his room for as long as we could but
sensing he wanted us to leave so he could get on with what he had intended to
do that afternoon. Feeling him slipping away slowly but surely now that he has
tasted freedom and knows he can get by on his own. Walking away from him slowly
shutting the door but not before asking him if he needed his mommy for anything
more.
His eyes meeting mine with a glimmer of amusement but not
wanting to hurt my feelings saying, “I’m okay. Love you. Bye.” Closing the door
and leaving him to get on with the remaining week of his programme.
Leading me to think how much joy our children get out of
experiencing. Without our influence. Them being allowed to develop their own
tastes. Their own thoughts and belief. Their own selves. Imagine if because I
was so afraid of escalators I had not allowed my daughter to ride an escalator.
I would have cheated her out of the experience of riding the tube and she would
never have known just how much she loves being on the tube. And escalators for
that matter.
And then knowing I had to close the door and let my son
continue to grow even though all I wanted to do was stay and do his laundry and
clean his room and make sure his homework was done. But he didn’t want me to do
any of those things. He wanted to do things in his own fashion. So I had to let
go. To let him go. So he can learn and grow of his own accord. Not of mine.
Helping me to accept we need to change our scenery from time
to time to broaden our own horizons. To allow ourselves to get out of our
comfort zones and challenge ourselves so we can see what it is we want out of
life and what we don’t. What we are capable of handling and what we aren’t. And
that also means we have to allow our children to do the same.
But above all else we have to be authentic to who we are and
what we like because in doing so we allow our children to develop into their authentic
selves by seeing we are doing the same. And the more we expose them the better
of they will be. As shall we. Grateful for experiencing and letting go.
Grateful for being a mother and a wife and a woman who is always learning and
experiencing, Namaste.
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