Wednesday 23 January 2013

Ode to Austin Duffy, Farewell with love


As I was flying through the sky yesterday morning enroute to New York City, my father-in-law was taking his last breath in front of my mother-in-law, his wife of more than 60 years, my husband's mother.
As I was flying through the air enroute to New York City, my father-in-law was flying through the Universe taking on a different form becoming at one with the One Source. Going back home as some like to say. Accepting his wings and going back to the place of beginnings and endings. The place we all emanate from but have no memory of.
As I was flying through the sky enroute to New York City, my mother-in-law sat bravely by her husband's side saying goodbye to the man she had been with for the majority of her life. Allowing his soul to reunite with the One Source. Bidding him farewell as only she could.
As I was flying through the sky enroute to New York City, my husband was discovering his father has gone. Left this plane to move on to whatever comes next.
As I landed in New York City and turned on my phone I saw with shock that my mother-in-law had become a widow, my husband a fatherless son and my Aunt a lone survivor of her family tree and I felt a heaviness come over me.  A heaviness for the grief that is to come. The adjustments that need to be made. The continuing of life after the death of a loved one.
A heaviness that the news had come when I was not near to my husband to comfort him. To look him in the eyes and let him know he is not alone.
The news bittersweet, shocking and sad all rolled into one. Bittersweet because my father-in-law, Austin Duffy, a stubborn and proud man, had died peacefully with his wife by his side with him until he took his last breath. Honouring her commitment to their wedding vows - For Better or Worse. For Richer and for Poorer. In sickness and in health. Til death us do part. So said so done. A lifetime of togetherness. Not always easy but shared nonetheless.
Shocking because we thought Austin, who had cheated death some three years before, would do the same this time. But as my husband said, like the clock that slowly begins to lose time until it can tick no more and then stops, so did my father-in-law. His time had simply run out. Slowly and with dignity. His clock just stopped ticking.
Sad because we will never see him again. Never hear his tales of woe. His tales of life. Sad because he never got to win the lottery he so desperately wanted to win so he could take a cruise around the world. Lost chances that were never meant to be for him.
Gratitude that we went as a family and spent time with him and my mother-in-law last summer. Gratitude that my children got to know their grandfather. Gratitude for knowing Austin Duffy who accepted me from the day I walked through the door of their home some 23 years before.
Hoping he has cast the canes to the side and is now skipping to his next life. Without worry. Without fear. Knowing he was loved and his name will be forever more carried through the seeds of his family.  His name to be spoken and remembered. His memory cherished. For without him there would be no family for me because I would not have the husband or children I do today.  And for my father-in-law and his choices I am forever more grateful.
Rest In Peace Austin Duffy. RIP now. Your earth journey is now done. See you in the next life. You have earned your wings. No more canes. No more pain. Freedom to stand tall and erect. Onto the afterlife now. Whatever it may be. With love and light. Embraced by the light. Rest in Peace.

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