Endings and Beginnings. Beginnings and Endings.
This has been a weekend of endings for many of my friends. Parents having to bury their sons. Friends
having to say goodbye way too soon. Husbands having to say goodbye to their
wives unexpectedly due to sudden illnesses. My husband coming to terms with the
fact that his father may be nearing his end.
Sadness abound for the weekend yet the weather was crystal
clear and beautiful showing the dichotomy of life. Saturday was particularly
heavy for me because I knew friends were experiencing what no parent wants to
experience having to bury their child while the rest of us were going about our
every day chores and errands. Illustrating how life ends but it must go on at
the same time for those that remain. A beginning of some sorts without those
who have departed. Difficult to grasp but true.
While I had another friend who was sitting by his wife’s
side praying for her to recover only to discover she was deteriorating rather
than getting better. This after a sudden collapse. No warning. Not time to say
all the things they wanted to say to each other. Grief and shock beyond words.
For him. For her. For them. For us.
Remembering how angry I felt when my mother died and people
were going about their normal day while I was having to close the coffin on my
mother knowing I would never see her again. The grief so deep I thought I would
not breathe again. That I would never live again. Her death too soon. Too sudden
to make any sense of. Too fast that I never got to say goodbye.
And for each of my friends this weekend the same was true. A
son killed in an accident. Never giving them the chance to say goodbye. A
friend whose wife went to work in the morning fine and then collapsed at the
end of the day. Again never having the chance to say goodbye to the way their
life was.
It is so difficult during times of grief to look up and see
the light. So difficult during times of grief to hold onto faith. It is so difficult
during times of grief to feel that it is possible to laugh again, enjoy life
again without feeling guilty. But it is these times of grief that help us to
become stronger people, more compassionate people, more loving people and also
people that know firsthand that life can change in an instant and we must be
sure to tell our loved ones we love them. To live our lives as fully as we can
because tomorrow really is promised to no one. That life is a gift and is very
short and it is up to us to treat it as the present it really is.
To every ending there is a beginning. When I drove past the
hospital today I thought there is a family grieving in there for a lost life
and at the same time there is a family rejoicing for the beginning of a new
life. Sadness mixed with joy. Signifying
that there are always endings and beginnings even when we think the doors of
life have been shut in our face. As long as we are breathing there is a
beginning every single day when we awake and an ending every single day when we
close our eyes and go to sleep. The same faith we have that we will wake up in
the morning is the faith we must have that we are here for a reason. And we
have to live it. One step at a time. One day at a time.
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