This morning I am sitting outside of my daughter's horseriding lesson. The sun is streaming into the car after a downpour. The birds are chirping in the trees and I am looking at the most beautiful lilac bush blowing in the wind. My daughter horse rides in one of the few remaining untouched rural settings in Bermuda where there are trees that you can't see through and very little traffic. It is an oasis onto itself, tucked off the main road and a place that takes me back to my childhood days when I used to run free through the hills without worrying about tomorrow or the day before, without worrying about my safety, simply without worrying at all.
I am listening to the sound of the wind in the trees rustling the leaves almost as if they are sighing and singing at the same time and I am feeling much calmer by the minute having rushed out of the house to get my daughgter to an early riding lesson because she has rehearsals today for her upcoming ballet recital.
I even got up early to fit everything in, check my son to make sure he has started his homework because he has a busy weekend, tennis, guitar, playdate, today tomorrow Boy's Brigade parade and guitar performance. My mind was racing this morning when I woke up about all the things my family has to do this weekend and wondering how we will fit it all in so that everyone gets a little bit of quality time in.
Even driving here I felt the pressure of the weekend coming down on me, my daughter has her first starring role in her Christmas play at school and her costume needs to be in by Monday but it doesn't look like we will have it on time to take in the morning so that means I may have to reschedule my whole day on Monday to work around getting this costume to school in time for her dress rehearsal then her ballet recital starts on Thursday through to Saturday.
My son has lots of exams next week because the term is winding down and I panic about whether I will be able to give him enough time splitting my time between both their schedules.
But sitting here watching the trees bending, my daughter riding her horse under her instructor's direction, hearing nothing by the sound of nature, an odd cow mooing, I am reminded of the old Bermuda days when everyone was free and easy and we did not have so much going on with our lives. All we had was nature and our imaginations to keep us occupied. Sitting here surrounded by nature, I am reminded that the solace I seek is all around me, I just need to step back sometimes and accept I can't do it all but I will do the best I can.
So I don't feel guilty sitting and looking at this rural setting taking me back to a different place and time when my life was not so complicated because it is allowing me to understand that life doesn't have to be about being busy and run off our feet all the time, sometimes it can just be taking a moment to appreciate all that we have right in front of us for free without racing past it and not even seeing it.
My mind has already started to slow down, the steam is seeping out of my head and I am feeling so much better about everything I have ahead of me because now I know without a doubt everything will happen in its own time. And all I have to do is breathe and take quiet moments to centre myself and it will all work out.
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