Saturday 27 October 2012

Hope from a brewing storm

Woke up this morning. My daughter wrapped around me. My husband snoring. And just stayed in bed. Feeling empty. Restless. Worried. About what I didn't know  But there was this strange feeling of not knowing what to do. Too much to do. But not knowing where or how to start.
Surprised by the light of the morning. Fully expecting to see darkness and to hear rain. But there was that glimmer of hope in the light of the morning. That glimmer of possibility. But I did not get up. Instead I stayed there savouring the feeling of security and comfort I felt. But then my husband got up. Still frustrated with our Internet issues. I could feel his energy was still uptight. And instantly I took on his energy. My anxiety increasing.
Worrying because my daughter wants us to bake together for a Halloween party we are going to later today. Thinking my plans were super ambitious for what I had decided to make. Telling myself I need to just go with the flow and do what I could.
Checking the list in my head about the things I need to do today. My son's school trousers were not ready yesterday when I went to pick them up. Thinking about the shopkeeper telling me they had been so busy that they did not get to my son's trousers when they had assured me when I bought them they would have them ready for me by yesterday. Angry that I have to interrupt my baking day with my daughter to get my son's trousers. Thinking of how I will fit it all in.
Thinking the longer I stayed in bed, the less time I would have to accomplish all my tasks. So I threw back the covers and got out of bed. Walked into the bathroom and opened the blinds to look outside. And there before me was a stormy and blustery morning. Mirroring my feelings. And then I paused. Mesmerised by the trees swaying and bending in the breeze. Holding strong despite being buffeted around. Leaves swirling almost like they were doing a dance. Holding up despite the force of the wind. Moving with the wind. Curling and furling.Not resisting and I knew instantly I was being sent a message once again from the Divine.
I felt joy spreading through me as I realised I was witnessing something very profound. Even when we are facing the greatest trials and tribulations, just like those trees in the wind, it is up to us to stand tall but to bend and flex and go with the flow. When we try to resist. When we try to go against the flow. That's when we snap and break  That's when our leaves, our plans, our dreams break because we don't dance in the flow.
Tears forming in my eyes as I watched the dance of the trees in the wind. And then the rain came. Hard and fast. almost like it was washing away my resistance. Cleansing me of my fears and worries. Listening to the rain pelting against the windows and inhaled the message I received. Exhaling I pulled open all the blinds so I wouldn't forget the storm brewing outside assaulting the trees and leaves. So I won't forget those trees are still standing and the leaves are still dancing. Despite the wind and rain. They are still there. Still standing. Still bending. Going with the flow. As shall I.

No comments:

Post a Comment