Relationships

According to Marianne Williamson, “Relationships are assignments. Relationships are the Holy Spirit’s laboratories in which He brings together people who have the maximal opportunity for mutual growth.”
Finally I understand why two people like my husband and I are attracted to each other based on this quote. We are polar opposites with completely different outlooks on life but for some reason we have managed to remain married for going on twenty years.
We are both very strong individuals who know what we want and so when we disagree, we disagree. But according to Marianne Williams we have been brought together because we challenge each other to find out who we truly are.
No longer do I feel I have chosen the wrong person when I hear about couples who never argue or disagree. I now know that I attracted my husband in my life because he is one of my greatest teachers. I cannot hide who I truly am from him. He gets to see the worst side of me – the side that is only reserved for my inner circle. He gets to see me when I am weak, vulnerable, tired, and afraid. He gets to experience me lashing out - sometimes more than he would like.
But what I do know for sure is that on those days when I feel like I want to kill my husband, walk away from him, shut the door on us, I must look myself in the mirror and try to figure out what maximum opportunity for growth he is providing me with. I must ask what the lesson is I am meant to learn from him until I feel the anger, disillusionment and despair melt away to yield love and light.
I also have come to realise that the longer I am married to my husband the more difficult the lessons are because we are moving beyond the surface, beyond the superficial, and we are being drawn closer and closer to each other’s deepest, darkest cores – the place where none of us wants to go but the place where we need to go if we are to truly flourish as individuals allowing us to be a better couple.
I dread the challenge sometimes and wish that we could just stay at the surface but we have come too far for that now and there is no turning back. What keeps me going with my husband is seeing the way he interacts with our children, the way he provides us with security, the way he is rebuilding our family home, the history we have built together, the times when we are so in sync that no words need to be spoken. Those treasures are so hard to give up and make up for those times when we are pushing each other beyond realms we thought possible - when the steam is streaming out of our heads, when we can cut the tension with a knife because now I understand that when we are at these crossroads, we are truly helping each other to become better people.
Relationships are tough and are constantly changing because two individuals are brought together to form a cohesive unit. Each person is growing at a different pace at times but what we must do to survive is give each other the rope to grow, the freedom to be, the wings to fly, the trust that we can make it through anything. And once the darkness passes, the people that come out on the other side are much better for it and the love that emerges is stronger than ever.