Angels come in many guises

I recently had coffee with a friend and she was very intrigued by my life. She kept asking me how I was able to be so forgiving, so mature, so evolved.
My answer at the time was, “I had a horrible trauma at a very pivotal age in my life just when I starting to question my own identity. I spent many years thereafter going through various stages of darkness -sometimes feeling like I could no longer endure any more tests. “
She answered, “Yes, but why have you turned out the way you have and others have not?”
I have to admit her questions have been playing on my mind ever since. Every so often, her questions flicker through my mind, forcing me to stop and search for answers. Is it enough to say we are all here to learn different lessons? Is it arrogant to think some of us are more evolved than others because we are at different stages of our growth?
Once when I felt like my burdens were too much to bear, when I felt I had no one to turn to or no place to go, I asked one of my old school teachers ,who was also one of my substitute mothers after my mother died, why so much pain and suffering was being inflicted on me.
Her answer was, “God only give us what we can handle.”
I remember thinking at the time that God was very punitive because I felt I had experienced more than enough of my share of heartache and pain. I remember looking up to the sky and asking why was it that each time I moved one step forward I went ten steps backwards? I don’t remember receiving an immediate answer. All I remember is my life got far worse before it got better.
Here I am some thirty years later still grappling with the why until a chill ran through my body as an epiphany hit me. I suddenly realised because of all my trials, because of the places I have been and the hardships I have seen, I emerged as a much stronger person. These traumatic experiences helped me to become more forgiving, understanding and evolved because I know how others feel. I know how lonely it can be to be on the outside looking in. I know how terrible it feels to have a loved one die when you least expect. I know how it feels to go without, to have nothing, to not know where the next meal will come from. I have experienced all these things and I know that in time these times will pass, the darkness will lift and the light will come back into my life.
From a young age, I was heavily burdened with all kinds of trials to allow me to develop coping skills, empathy and love so that I could become the person I am today. I also know that my friend came into my life to remind me of my strengths so I don’t forget them during this transitional stage of my life. And for my friend’s probing I am truly grateful. Angels come in many different guises.