Sometimes I just don't want to filter

Thank you to all those who reached out to me yesterday. Those who were concerned about me because of the blog I wrote yesterday. I wrote that blog without thinking about it. I just let it flow from my heart. Exploring what was there and letting it come out. Letting jumbled thoughts present a hint to me about my start of mind. Bringing them from the recesses of my brain to the forefront of my brain then allowing them to spill out into the ether.

Sometimes I just don’t want to filter what is going on inside me. Sometimes I just want to let it flow and see where it takes me and that’s where I was yesterday morning. Monday morning having to deal with another week ahead. As soon as I wrote the words and let them go, I felt much better. More focused. More in touch with who I am. I thought about deleting the words and starting all over again but did not because I felt by expressing how I was feeling I could possibly touch someone else as well.

We are not perfect beings. None of us. We are human beings with a multitude of feelings, vibrations and tolerances. And some days we will be weak and by exposing our weakness first to ourselves then to others, we help to shift ourselves from the pit of darkness to the portals of love and light. By sharing our vulnerabilities and exposing them to ourselves and to others only helps to make us stronger because we realize we are not alone in our struggle. Not wandering out in the wilderness all alone.

Life is a process, a journey not a destination as is spirituality and surrender. There are times when we are more in tune with the process and other times out of sync but by just going with the flow and exploring it for what it is, for accepting who we are at the moment, we open ourselves to clarity. We allow ourselves to be free from attachment and expectation.

I felt really vulnerable yesterday morning when I woke up, really worried about some decisions I had to make and so I allowed my feelings to bubble to the surface and to expose them for what they were. I was not expecting the outpouring of support I got so I was surprised and pleased by the response and from whom because it showed me just who really and honestly cares about me as a friend, and I thank you for that.

Life is all about sharing and living. Giving and receiving. Loving and letting go. Fear and vulnerability are necessary parts of life because they teach us about what we want and don’t want. They allow us to go to places that we can’t access without first feeling a sense of foreboding. Fear is the barometer that gives us the space to challenge ourselves and there is nothing wrong with admitting our fears. Nothing at all. Some people look at exposing out fears as a sign of weakness but in actuality it is a sign of strength. A sign of not being ashamed of who we are from a deep and protected place.

No, I did not walk around yesterday feeling sorry for myself. Instead after writing that piece yesterday about my jumbled thoughts, I walked outside to take our rabbit out for the morning and as I did, I looked at the clouds, the greenness of the grass, inhaled the freshness of the morning air and felt a sense of detachment and surrender come over me as I repeated, “It is what it is, I am what I am and for it all I am truly and honestly grateful.” Surrendering it all to the grace of the Divine.

Nature has a wonderful way of opening us up to possibility because of it vastness and beauty. Because of its natural flow. Here’s to another glorious day. Another day of opportunity, abundance and surrender. Another day of jumbled thoughts that somehow will become coherent as the day evolves without direction, attachment or expectation. Namaste.