It is a bittersweet morning for me as I wonder how my son is doing. The son, my daughter and I dropped off at Harvard University yesterday for a two week game programming summer camp hosted by the Digital Media Academy. My brave son who when we got him to his residence and found out his roommate, he had yet to meet, was not there, asked us to leave. At first I was offended he would even suggest we leave without me knowing who he was going to be rooming with. Shocked that he wanted rid of us so soon. So I hung around for a while until I realized how serious he was that he wanted us to leave. His are you seriously still here expressions telling me to leave without saying a word.
My daughter said it was because he knew I would ask his roommates lots of questions about who he was and where he was from. She said he probably thought I was going to take over when he wanted to do it himself. The more I thought about it, the more I thought she was probably right. He is 15 now and much bigger than me so he probably did want to establish himself on his own without me being the overbearing mother wanting everything to be perfect for my children.
I swallowed my pride and as hard as it was for me to walk away without knowing who my son's roommate is, I did. I came to the conclusion that for the next two weeks he is on his own and I will not be there to solve his problems as he will have to do so on his own. So I walked away. Kissing my son and wishing him well.
I have to admit I did hang out for a bit in the lobby seriously thinking about whether I should watch every person that came to register to see which one was my son's new roommate but then I thought it best to leave so I would not be taken for being a crazy stalker. So after stalling for a few, with wishes of peace, good energy and a fun time, my daughter and I walked out of the lobby of the residence hand and hand as my son sat in his room waiting for his roommate to arrive.
I sent my son a text last night to see how he was getting on. To see if he likes his new roommate. To find out how orientation and dinner went. No response much to my chagrin. I thought about calling the school to see how everything was going but then remembered it was my son who wanted to cut ties early so he could establish himself so I decided to leave well enough alone. Thinking instead I should be proud of my son's independence and how it would behoove me to let it go. Let him go. Accepting it is what it is so I did but this morning when I woke up he was on my mind as I looked out over the city. The city that still sleeps with its light, buildings, flags,helicopters and birds sending him good chi and thinking of the stories he will have to tell when we reunite in two weeks,
At least we parted after a great time together. A good dinner and watching the wonderful production, Brothers of the Knight, that even he, my cynical 15 year old, totally enjoyed. So I am sending him love and light on his new adventure and surrendering him to his own experience. Even still I can't wait to see him again and it would be nice to get a text back from him at some stage. But if I don't hopefully that means he is doing well.
I am so grateful to be able to give my children these opportunities. Opportunities to test themselves beyond their comfort zones with people they have never met. To allow them to flex their wings and see no matter where they go, there they always are. And that people are all the same no matter where we come from. Can't wait to see my son again in two weeks time,
Happy Monday everyone from beautiful sunny Boston. Off on adventures with my daughter today just the two of us having girl time. There is always good in every bad and a beginning in every ending. So I tell myself as I hope my son is doing well with the thought no news is good news, right?
No comments:
Post a Comment