Creativity is eluding me this morning
Words are hard to come by
Thoughts are all over the place
Anxiety barometer is rising
Because I am trying too hard to find the words
Trying too hard to deliver
Trying too hard to find meaning
When meaning is there with me all the time
When life is teaching me all the time
When the Universe is providing for me all the time
It is me that is stopping the flow
Me that is trying to be perfect in an imperfect world
Me that is trying to be something that my mind cannot be at
the moment
Me that is resisting the gifts, treasure and abundance of the
Universe
Because I am trying too hard to be over there
Rather than here
Right here
Right now
Rather than seeing the morning breaking in front of my eyes
Rather than seeing in its breaking, new beginnings
New beginnings for me too
New beginnings and paths that are leading me where I need to
go
Creativity is eluding me this morning
Words are hard to come by
Because I am searching
Searching too hard
Trying to find the right words
The most eloquent words
Words that make my soul sing
Words that transport me from this place of resistance
To the place of surrender and abandon
To the place that allows me to create
To be at one with myself
Accepting my anxieties
My fears
My longings
Are parts of me
Parts of my growth
As much as my periods of silence
As much as my periods of contemplation
As much as my periods of going within
Are parts of me
I cannot have one with the other
Anxiety, fear and yearnings have their place
Because they force me to dig deep
To find out what it is that is driving me
Propelling me
But if I ignore them
And try to suppress them
My creativity stops
The words do not come
Because I am too busy being anxious
Too busy trying to hide my anxiety
Instead of looking at my feelings as processes
Welcoming them in to allow my creativity to flow
To allow the words to come freely
To feel everything I am feeling
And accepting everything
As a part of where I am
And who I am
Relaxing now
Relaxing and breathing
Breathing
Breathing
Inhaling slowly
Exhaling fully
Slowing my racing thoughts down
Allowing me to open my eyes this morning
Really open them
For the first time
Despite being awake for over an hour
I was finally able to see
Really see
It was only then that I saw
The message loud and clear
Right in front of my face
The message the Universe had been sending me since I woke up
But was too blinded by my trying to ignore my anxiety
The message that came to me in the form of a quote
The message that said
“The key to creativity is knowing that
My thoughts create my experience
I use this key in every area of my life”
This key that will unlock my creativity
This key that allows me to be
To accept and understand
My thoughts create my experience
So if I am thinking about anxiety
Anxious is what I will be
If I think I am creative
Creative is what I will be
Grateful now for all feelings
All thoughts because
They make up the rich tapestry
That is my life
Where I have the ability to find beauty in the rain
Calmness from the chaos of my brain
When I embrace all that I am
Where I am
As I am
With gratitude and grace
I find calmness from the chaos of my brain
Beauty in the rain
A perfect heart filled with light
In the middle of the clouds
Letting me know I am loved
Because I am love
And then the dam breaks
As creativity flows
And flows
And flows
As do the words
Beautiful
Liberating words
That were there all the time
Waiting for me to find them
And use them
As I am
Namaste
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