One of the reasons why I love to write so much is because it
teaches me so much about how I should live. Need to live. When I first started
writing, I wrote with an ending in view. Writing to get to that ending,
frustrating myself to no end because I would direct my writing to get to the
end because I thought the end was more important than the journey. And no
matter what I had to get to that ending even if it meant my writing was stilted
and contrived.
But now that I write every single day, I have come to know
that in order for my writing to flow I just have to let go. I have to go with
the first sentence that comes to my mind and let it take me where it and I need
to go. I now know that I have no idea where I am going with my writing but I
have come to trust my writing. To trust myself to go where my writing wants me
to go. To let go. Meandering through thoughts, feelings, sentiments until they all come together to form a story, a lesson.
I am learning to apply that same approach to my life.
Instead of always looking for the ending, the destination, that when I get up in the morning, I have to
trust every second, every minute, every hour of every day to go where I am
meant to go. To trust I am where I am meant to be even when all about me seems
grey and full of haze. Even when what I thought was meant to happen, doesn’t.
To trust that all is unfolding as it is meant to unfold.
My writing is teaching me, I have to learn to trust my gut
as I do with my writing, about the people, places, things and events that come
into my life because they have entered for a reason. To either go with them or
let them go depending on the feeling I get in the pit of my stomach. Or to just
wait, not adjusting anything, to allow myself to develop into what I am meant
to develop into so I am ready. Accepting always that what is meant to be will be.
To know underlying it all, I am meant to trust myself, trust
my voice, trust my inner feel as I do with writing. Because when I trust and
let go with writing I end up with such a feeling of pleasure when I reach the
end without my influence or the influence of anyone else, without caring about
whether my writing is liked or not by anyone because it comes from an authentic
place where I trust and let go. Where only authenticity resides resulting allowing me to fully explore my creative side and bring it out into the open.
I am learning that if I apply the same principles of
surrender to my life as I do with my writing, I find joy and peace with so much of
what I experience. Because I am learning above all else that letting go and surrendering
to what is always puts me in a better place than resisting, directing and
forcing. Because it means I am learning to trust myself, my gut, my inner voice
more than the chatter of my ego and everyone else around me. I am learning to
be me, accept me and do me and that is such a liberating feeling.
Surrendering allows me to be me and only me and that is why
I write every single day because it is teaching me so much about the way I need
to live my life. Namaste
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