When disappointment comes

Disappointment comes from expectations being dashed. Disappointment, in its very essence, is judgment that someone did not do what we expected. That something did not turn out as we expected. Disappointment is our way of judging people, places and things. When we have no expectations, we can not be disappointed because we have no reason to judge.

But letting go of expectations totally and honestly is very difficult to do because we are human and imperfect. And we have come to think people are supposed to be a certain way. We believe certain situations are meant to go a certain way. And when they don’t we become disappointed, jaded and sometimes unnerved.

Sometimes with disappointment, we are so gutted that we feel stuck. Cannot react. Do not know how to move forward and in those instances we need to dig deep, really deep to determine why we can’t move. Is it because we feel whatever we do will be a reflection on us rather than trying to help the person in need. The one who “disappointed” us. Is it a cry for help from them that they need us? That they can’t handle the pressure they are under and need us to help them to come out from under the burden they have been carrying? To help them to be who they are meant to be? To help us to be who we are meant to be?

The one thing we need to learn is that life will present us with many disappointments along the way because we cannot truly break free of expectations as we are human. However when life does disappoint,  we have to look at the disappointment for what it is and be grateful it showed up because it is helping us to make decisions about where to go next.

Remembering always that when we judge others, we open ourselves to be judged back. Opening the door wide for disappointment to come charging into our lives.  Life is a journey, a process of learning and we need not hold onto disappointment beyond getting the lesson we are meant to learn because if we do, we stunt our growth.

Life is all about making mistakes that are really lessons for us all to learn. So perhaps a way forward is to reframe our thinking to know that there are no mistakes only lessons to be learned. And in doing so, the effect of disappointment on us will be less severe. Paving the way for us to be more forgiving and compassionate rather than judgmental and feeling as if we are more superior.

When we step away from people that have disappointed us, situations that have unravelled in ways least expected, we realize are being given a gift. A gift to change course. A key to a door that had been locked before that we could not get through. Because we are being given the opportunity to assess the why of our disappointment in order to understand the way forward.

Every disappointment we feel is a gateway to a new beginning. A new way of thinking because disappointment comes to warn us about something. About someone. It comes as a lesson for everyone and everything involved to know how to handle a person or situation should it arise again or to stop it from  reoccurring. What a gift disappointment truly is because it awakens a part of us we have tried to suppress.

So the next time disappointment comes, embrace it as an opportunity to change course, to redirect, to become more open to learning about ourselves and others and see what happens. Remembering always to breathe.