This morning I got the call

This morning I got the call
The call I had been waiting for
Since my Mysty went from this world to the next
Since my husband was thrown into turmoil and despair
When he got news that shook his core
And because he is part of my core
I was shaken as well
So I was waiting
Waiting for life to send me the call
The call that would wake me from my slumber
Wake me from the darkness that was threatening to pull me in
Shroud me
Disguise me
Bury me
And it came this morning
As I was between sleep and awake
Between yesterday's thoughts and experiences to this new day
It came in the call of the cardinal
The red bird's song
Summoning me
Pulling me
Willing me 
To get out of bed
While the day was still young
While the possibility still remained
To allow me to cast aside my fear of walking in nature again
Regardless of what my body looks like
Regardless of my preconceived notions of how I am meant to look right now
To embrace the fact that I woke up this morning
And heard the call 

The song of the redbird
So I got up 
Looked at my face in the mirror
The face of a woman nearly 51
The face of a woman 

Who has endured so much
Weathered so much
Survived so much
Conquered so much
And told her
Told me
To shake of the insecurity
The excuses and get out there
And embrace the life that wants to embrace me
So I put on my walking clothes 

And went back to the mirror 

And saw
The face of a renewed woman 

Who was ready to go
To walk
To hear 
To see 
The sound of the cardinal
The song of the red bird
Singing just for me
As I walked outside
There he was
Majestic
Red
Strong
Proud
Singing his song
Facing me
High up on his perch
The highest point in my yard
The oldest point in my yard 
Right above where my Mysty lies
Where we put her one week to this day

Was the cardinal
On the top of the old dead cedar tree
Singing his song
Wiling me
Coaxing me
Letting me know all is well
As I walked he followed me and found me again
On the wire singing
Willing me 

Coaxing me

To keep putting one step in front of the other
And then he was gone

As I got to the beach
Where the ocean's song took over
Waves crashing and retreating 
On the pink sandy shore
Filling me with joy
As I walked 
I looked out over the horizon
The endless horizon
And breathed in the air
The breath of life
The joy of living
The smell of living
Tears welling in my eyes

As I felt blessed

Grateful

To live in such a beautiful place

Where the ocean is blue

The sand pink

The weather perfect

On this February Saturday morn

The sky clear

Except for a few puffy clouds

People walking

Running

Dogs without their leash

Tears stinging my eyes

As I thought about 

Those suffering with cold weather

Winter storms

Ocean lashing their shores

As our ocean gently rippled

Reflecting the sun

Tears stinging my eyes

As I realized 

Sometimes it takes death
Or news of death
To make us appreciate life
To appreciate each breath we take
To see the beauty all around us
To know we are part of it all

So I sat down on the steps

High above the ocean

And let life fill me

With gratitude and love

Allowing them to flow through me

Until I was full

Then as I made my trek back home

There on a tree

Another dead cedar tree

In the midst of the old railway trail

Appeared my cardinal

Singing just for me

I heard it again

And followed it

The call I was waiting for
The call of the cardinal
The bringer of news from the other world
The coaxer
The spirit bringer
Wiling me
Coaxing me
With his lilting song
The song of the everlasting spirit
That embraces us all
Namaste