There is such a delicate balance between directing and
guiding. Such a delicate balance between restraining and parenting. Such a delicate
balance between anger and respect.
Parenting teaches us all these things. The art of holding on
while letting go. The art of parenting while shedding.
And sometimes that balance gets thrown off when we try too
hard to make our children into something they are not. When we try too hard to
make them do the things we want them to do rather than the things they want to
do. When we want them be like we were when we were children forgetting that
times has moved on and the things that brought us joy no longer resonate with
them. We are living in an age of technology where everything in the world and Universe,
that we know if, is at their fingertips. At our fingertips.
At the click of a mouse they open the world and
the Universe to themselves. They can discover and see so much more than we ever
could before the invention of computers. And though we know it is changing the way
they interact with each other and with us, there does not seem to be much we can do about it
as this is the way life is going. We can fight. Try to resist it and shake our
heads in angst but all we are doing is creating a gulf. A wedge between us and our
children.
We can scream and shout and wish they would go outside more.
Explore nature more but they are growing up in a time when technology is king. They
are the bridges between the old and new and while we are clinging to the old,
they are reaching out to grasp on to the wave that is before them before it
crests and they are left drowning in a time that is no more.
Sometimes I step back and listen to myself shouting at my
son telling him to get off his computer, telling him there is more to life than
being on the computer, that he needs to go outside, to exercise, to see life
beyond the confines of his room. But then I realize he is playing a game with
his friends who have scattered around the world in different boarding schools –
Australia, England, Scotland, the US and they are talking like they are next
door. Like it matters not that there is distance between them. Like it matters not that their experiences are
very different daily. But what this computer thing is doing is keeping them in
touch. Something we could never have done years before. So even though their
lives may be changing and going in different directions, technology is actually
keeping them in touch. Allowing them to remain in each other’s lives. Actually keeping
a bond that may have been lost otherwise.
So what are we meant to do as parents? Are we meant to keep
taking the light out of the eyes of our teenagers because we want them to be as
we were when they are straddling a time we cannot and will not understand. When
everything they want to discover and know about is at their fingertips. When they
use their computers like it is an appendage. When I see little babies barely
able to walk walking around with an IPad looking at movies or “educational
games” on there, navigating between screens as if they were born to do that, I
question whether we are capable of stopping this movement. Or is it here to
stay and we just have to learn to live with it?
As parents I am realizing we have to let go and let our children
find their way through this technological age so that they don’t become dinosaurs
in an age we did not grow up in but are aging in. I am so torn about this age
of technology and policing it for my children that I am putting my thoughts out
there to see what comes back. I’m open
to suggestions because I don’t want to lose my bond with my children – so please
feel free to share them with me because I’m struggling as a parent with this
technological age. Look forward to some feedback. Any feedback....
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