The howling wind and letting go

Why is the sound of the wind so unnerving. So jarring. So unsettling. Why is it that it pulls me out of my deepest sleep? Causing me to sit up and listen. Objects crashing.  Unknown. Breaking. Scattering. Swirling sounds. Unrest. Chaos. Pandemonium.

Why does the wind make me feel jittery. On edge? When it is a part of nature just like me.

Why is the sound so violent? Like a freight train speeding by my windows when it is a part of nature just like me?

Why does the wind come for days at a time? Destroying. Ripping the leaves off the trees. Burning them until they die. What is the purpose of the wind? Why does it leave me feeling uneasy?

The past few days, like the wind, my insides have been in a whirl. Being tossed around.  Upside down. Inside out. I feel like I am being blown away just like the leaves speeding past my window. Everything around me is moving so fast while I am standing still. Being assaulted by the wind. No matter how hard I try to stop the chaos around me, I have no strength. No power to do so. So I stand in the wind. Windswept. Exhausted and tired.

Contemplating there is no other sound like the sound of the howling wind. No other sound that makes me feel so vulnerable. What will it destroy? What will it ruin? What am I meant to do to get out of the howling wind? Have I brought the wind here? Caused it to kick up? Who do I think I am?

Why do we have the wind for days at a time? Blowing, Howling. Pushing. Mixing with the North air so it is chilly. Cutting. Unforgiving.

What is the purpose of the howling wind? Does anyone know? And why does it come and stay for so long?

I woke up this morning with the sound of the wind as I went to sleep with it last night. Its pounding and relentless nature forcing me to questions why it is so unsettling for me? So I decided to explore my apprehension and fears about the wind. Only to discover the wind unnerves me because it is something I cannot see except for it blowing the leaves and trees. Bending them near to the ground like they are reeds rather than trees. Showing me its brute force.

I accept the wind unnerves me because I cannot really feel it until it slices across my check. Its chill penetrating my skin forcing me to wrap up tight. Showing me its might. I cannot touch it but I know it’s there because it rips things out of my hands if I don’t hold on tight. Rips flowers off the trees. Destroys that which does not yield to its might.

I stop and inhale deeply. Quieting the confusion and noise in my brain so I can truly absorb the wind and then I smell it, feel it.  Its scent like a fresh ocean breeze. Atmosphere. Ozone. Fresh. But yet it still unnerves me. Why ?

Inhaling once again and this time with a long exhale. And then I allow myself to go into the silence. The silence that always exists even in the howling wind and I embrace it. I close my eyes and that’s when I hear, I am afraid of the wind, unnerved by the wind because I have no control over what the wind will do, what the wind will feel like, when it comes and when it goes. I realize it is an abstract part of nature that exists but can’t be touched even though it is felt. I realize it is because it is cleansing the atmosphere. Sweeping away all that is no longer necessary. Making space for all the new.

Making things ugly before they can become beautiful. Making space for the new while getting rid of the old. And that’s why the wind affects me so much because it reminds me that in order to move to the new, to embrace what is I must let go of what isn’t. Loosen my grip on all the things I can’t control and let the wind carry them away to where they are meant to be. And bring forth that which is meant to be.

I inhale and exhale again knowing the wind is here to remind me to let go of everything I no longer need so they flutter away gently in the breeze rather than being ripped out of my hands. So I let go and let be in honour and respect of the wind and the infinite source of abundance. I trust and let go. Namaste.