#December 31, 2012 with gratitude and love

Today is the last day of 2012. December 31, 2012. If you’re anything like me, you’re wondering how this happened?  How did the old year go by so quickly? Like the blink of an eye. Reminding us that time waits for no one and it is up to all of us to ride the hands of time. To love each moment as if it was our last so we don’t wake up on the last day of the year regretting letting life slip us by. Instead of living each moment.

Ironically the last day of the year falls on a Monday, the beginning of the work week yet the ending of the Year. Signalling to us, to every ending there is a beginning and to every beginning there is an ending. Reminding us not to sweat the small stuff in between.

For us in Bermuda it is a blustery wintry day. Trees are almost touching the ground because they are being blown so hard. The leaves are swishing instead of rustling. Father Winter is definitely blowing through. Showing us his strength and challenging us to understand the only way to navigate through the storms is to be able to bend flex with the wind rather than standing rigid and not yielding. Blowing out the old and sweeping in the new.

Dark heavy clouds are obscuring our normal sunny skies. Doom and gloom in the air as the darkness does not want to give way to the light. The rising sun is hidden behind the black dark clouds. Glimpses of the sky come with each gust of wind until it is swallowed up again. Illustrating even on our darkest days there is always light if we are open to see it.

My husband is the on the road to recovery while my daughter seems to be slipping onto his path of illness. I will send her good energy and try to heal her as much as I can so her old year does not end in bed leaving her too weak to celebrate her New.

I could end the Old Year full of gloom and doom but I know that’s no way to greet the New Year so I’m going to shift my mindset from negative to positive. To embrace the fact that though the skies are still dark, the winds are still blowing, the rising sun has been hidden from me, that I woke up this morning to see another day. That the world did not end on December 21, 2012. That a new day is dawning and we have been given more time to live, to learn, to love. What a wonderful day it is now. And how will we use our extra time? How will we not take for granted the lives we are living?

What joy I am experiencing knowing I am still here to experience the dawn of a New Year. Full of hope and promise. Faith and perseverance. Opening my heart knowing in order to be loved, I must give love. In order to embrace the light, I must share the light. In order to bring about change, I must be the change I want to see.

To know that though this last day of the year has begun on a day full of darkness and gloom, this weather too shall pass. But it is here to remind me I must experience its darkness in order to appreciate when it is sunny and full of light. To know this weather too shall pass and once again it will be full of light and radiance.

To remember though some of 2012 was marred with disappointment and disillusionment, there were plenty of days filled with wonder and enlightenment. So I am going to enjoy every minute of the last day of 2012. Knowing that with every positive thought I create now will pave the way for a bright and faith filled New Year.

So much to be grateful for every single day. So much to live for every single day. So much to love every single day. Here’s to the end of 2012 and the beginning of a New Year, 2013. With gratitude and love. Namaste.

An end of the year whinge attack

Okay I have a confession to make, I hate the way I look at the moment. I am about 15 to 20 pounds heavier than I should be but I can’t stop eating the chocolates that seem to be following me wherever I go. Calling my name. Taunting me.  Oh come on you can just have one more they seem to be saying to me.

I so desperately want to lose the weight particularly since 2013 is the beginning of my new decade – the big 50. I don’t want to go on any starvation diets that I won’t be able to maintain. I want to do something that changes my lifestyle allowing me to maintain the weight I lose.

I am not really a foodie type person. I eat fairly healthy except for every now and then I go on these binge eating periods where I want to eat potato chips and chocolate. Oh and I forgot French fries! My 3 vices. I am a pescatarian – meaning I only eat fish but no other meats and I love, love, love vegetables and fruit. But I am finding for the moment my body is craving junk and more junk.

I see a bag of potato chips and I’m off to the races. I glimpse a piece of chocolate and it’s in my mouth before I can even say chocolate. What is going on with me? Because they say you are what you eat so am I full of junk at the moment? Why am I craving junk when I feel like I am at one of the pivotal points of my life where I am getting all sorts of wonderful and divine messages from the Universe? Where when I ask a question I receive the answer that I need?

But why is this weight thing eluding me? What am I trying to hide from by allowing the excess weight to remain? Is it because as we age we are meant to give up on focusing so much on our physical being and instead make way for the youth to have center stage for their physical beauty while we step on stage front and center for our wisdom and internal beauty. Is it because the roles are meant to reverse? Is aging where we come to terms with who we are as a whole individual and the only way we can do that is to not see our physical beauty anymore.

I notice most women’s bodies start to change when we hit 40 – our waists become thicker. Our curves become less defined and then we punish ourselves by depriving ourselves of all the treats we like to eat until our brains take over and then we can’t stop the binge. Which is exactly where I am right now. I can’t stop the binge.

Okay I’m even getting sick of my whinging now so I’m sure you are. First of all I need to stop saying I can’t and if I really want to do something about my weight I have to make a choice about whether I am going to accept that as a mature woman I will not have the body I had when I was 20 unless I cut out everything I love to eat. That I need to stop looking at magazines and seeing all these beautiful 20 year old models and wonder why I don’t look like that anymore. Or I need to just stop eating all the things I love and be beautiful. The problem I have is how long will it last?

And then I have to get off my butt and start exercising again. Doing something that gets my metabolism going. Instead of sitting and wondering why my body is changing. It’s up to me to decide what I want to look like. And then do something about it if that is my soul’s desire.

And lastly I need to change my mindset. I have to stop calling myself fat and stop looking at myself and seeing fat. What I need to do is tell myself each and every day I am a beautiful, caring and grateful woman. That I love myself for who I am rather than hating myself for not being what I would like to be. Our minds are powerful tools that can shape us in any way we see fit. Pun intended there so it’s up to us to decide what and who we are and then we just have to be that person.

I also have to accept I am who I believe I am. I am what I eat, drink and feel.  And if I want to change any of me, it’s up to me.

But I wonder why I put so much pressure on myself to be this perfect identical being - wearing the same clothing, being the same size rather than accepting my individuality and beauty for what it is. Maybe one day I will and stop depriving myself of who I really am to make way for the real me to emerge. Exactly as I am meant to be. Exactly as I am.

So do I feel any better yet? Not sure but I do know that if I want to change anything it is totally up to me as I am a product of my imagination. 

Surrendering is the best form of planning

I am not a planner. Never have been and I don‘t think I ever will. Yet there are many in my life who are planners. They plan everything to a precise moment and what I find is when their plans don’t work out they become frustrated. Disappointed in life and sometimes become very bitter.

Yet for me because I am not a planner, I find I am more flexible with my life. That I tend to end up exactly where I am meant to be. That I get exactly what I am meant to get. That I feel more content with what I have. But lately I have been feeling guilty because I have allowed others to scare me about not being a planner. To frighten me into thinking that because I am aging, albeit gracefully, that I need to have plans in place for the rest of my life.

And even though I have these niggling feelings deep down inside that I have no idea how to plan out the rest of my life because I have no idea how long I am going to live, I have still been plagued with feelings of guilt. And because I have been plagued with these feelings of guilt, I have been desperately trying to manifest things in my life. Pushing myself to do things that don’t feel comfortable to me to prove to others that my life always works out. Leaving me with feelings of frustration. Disappointment and guilt.

And then something wonderful happened last night. I sat down on the couch at about 7.45 to watch television, something I rarely do. My whole body relaxed and I surrendered to the exhaustion and tension in my body. Allowing it to slip away and before I knew it, I was waking up at 10.47! I could not believe the amount of time that had slipped by. I woke up disoriented. Groggy. Shocked that my children were still awake.

After sending them to bed I felt compelled to go onto my computer to see what was happening in the world.  I was drawn to @YouTube where I watched a @Tedx presentation by @Dr. Judith Orloff about surrendering. Without knowing so I was being led by the Universe to the answer I had been unconsciously seeking for quite some time about planning and not planning. Dr. Judith Orloff stated, “There are 3 types of surrender:

1.Trail by Surrender – crisis is an amazing opportunity for people to change. Crisis is opportunity.

2.       Surrender by Anxiety and Fear – We have control over our thoughts – just because we think something or fear something, it doesn't have to be the way. When confronted with our worst fears if we could conjure up a positive image in our minds instead we will be able to move beyond our fears.

3.       Accepting what is instead of trying to fit things or people into what we think ought to be.”

She concluded by stating that “surrender means flowing with what is.” And then it hit me at once, I had a dramatic crisis hit me when I was 13 years old when my mother went to bed on May 16,1976, never regained consciousness and died on May 18, 1976. My life was at a crisis point and I was giving the opportunity to grow in ways I never imagined possible. I had to let go in order to let be. If not I was going to die inside.

I had to surrender by anxiety and fear about laughing again, living again after her death because I felt so guilty for still living and laughing when she wasn't that if I did not think of positive images for the rest of my life I would stagnate and not grow.

And last but not least her death taught me that I had to accept what is in order to move on. And I did. I realize mote than ever that her death taught me to flow with what is and I have been doing so all my life ever since. When I get myself all up in a twist is when I am trying to redirect the flow, swim against the flow or refuse to accept what is. And what I realize more than anything is when I allow plans to push me in directions I know don’t feel right to me, I confront the most obstacles and challenges. But when I surrender and let go,  I am always pushed back onto the path that is the best place for me to be.

And for this message and answer from the Universe affirming that surrendering is the best form of planning we could ever ask for because it puts us in the flow of what is, I am truly grateful.  Amen.

Back to work today

Back to work today after two days off. It’s cold and dark outside. The wind is howling. Listening to the sounds of things banging, creaking and groaning under the strain of the wind. Knowing that’s why my son’s light is on and why my daughter came running into our bed this morning. Thinking of how I hugged her again and again before tearing myself out of bed.

Bundling myself up again in my robe. Trying desperately to hold onto the comfort of home. The warmth of my family togetherness. Before I have to leave them. Feelings of nostalgia and sadness washing over me in waves. Looking out the window surprised by the angry yet beautiful red sky. Knowing we are on the cusp of another winter storm. Wishing I could just keep the blinds closed and stay inside where it is safe. Where the rest of my family still sleeps.

Sitting, contemplating. Thinking about what’s to come. Sad because I have to leave my family during this holiday season particularly with an unwell husband. Telling myself to not be sad but to be grateful for the time we spent together. Look at the glass as half full rather than half empty.

Thinking about those who will never see their loved ones again because of tragedies leading up to Christmas and for some sadly on Christmas Day. Events that will always trigger feelings of remorse during the season when we are filled with the most joy. Thinking of how they will have such a difficult time putting the pieces back together because for them the Christmas season will be filled with so much pain for quite some time.

Thinking about the fact that hope has been stripped away from them until they come to terms with their losses. If ever, for some. Remembering that my leaving my family is only temporary so I have so much to be grateful for rather than concentrating on what I do not.

Just thinking about the plight of others who have lost loved ones over the holiday season has shifted my thoughts from sadness to gratitude.  Because I have tapped into my compassionate being. That being that is connected to everyone and everything. That being that feels the ripple effect of loss of one to us all. Interconnections existing all the time but forgotten until something tragic or grand takes place.

Sending out feelings of love, peace, light, faith and hope to all of us seeking today. All of us trying to come to terms with where our journey is taking us. Surrendering to the journey rather than focusing on the destination. Pulling myself out of the funk of having to get back to reality recognizing my reality is a product of my imagination. I create where I am, who I am and what I am at all times.

So today I choose to look at the glass as half full. Grateful for waking up this morning. Grateful for having all my family intact. Grateful for being grateful. Going out into the world today full of gratitude. Determined to accept I am where I am meant to be. And grateful for accepting and surrendering to the sense of my Divine Purpose. Fulfilling my true purpose in life. Knowing I am here for a reason. Going out today using my gifts to best serve the world and myself.

Pyjama day in silence and reverence

Another Christmas Day come and gone. In between time is upon us now. The great and highly anticipated Christmas Day has now passed. Leaving somewhat of a void. A feeling of emptiness. Leaving me and so many others trying to recover from the hype.

Today is Boxing Day, another holiday here in Bermuda, Canada and England, but not the US. This Day is traditionally for going to visit people not seen on Christmas Day. My husband is ill. My children are exhausted and so I’m trying to decide if it’s best for us to just be still for the day and let everyone have the chance to catch themselves rather than accepting every invitation we have and going out.

It’s even an in between day outside – sun trying to shine but the clouds coming to obscure the sun as quickly as it breaks through. There is a gentle wind blowing and a slight chill, by Bermuda standards, in the air. Feeling like it is telling me sometimes we just need to be still to give our inner voices the chance to be heard. Rather than rushing about and drowning out its advice.

I am sitting in my cosy new robe my family gave me for Christmas. Bundled up like the abominable snow woman and feeling just as content to be like this all day long. There’s nothing like a pyjama day when we give ourselves permission to laze around, shutting out all the outside noise and chatter and instead surrendering to the silence. Have I made my decision? Is this where I will be all day long? Sounds like a good idea to me.

Casting aside all guilt of having to be some place else today, I am accepting the only place I need to be is where my heart feels the most content, my soul the most nourished and my inner voice the most heard. So if it resonates that home is where I am meant to be with my family doctoring my husband, allowing my children to remain in pyjamas all day long and giving myself permission to do so as well, that is where I will be.

I am listening to the sound of the birds chirping. The silent sound of nature growing and expanding. The gentle and freeing harmony of the breeze. I am listening to the sound of life moving on. Sweeping me up in its currents. Gently pushing me along. Guiding me. Helping me. Filling me with faith, hope and trust as I surrender to its rhythm. Leaving behind the temptation of needing to be a part of anything or anyone. Instead accepting I am as I am. Where I need to be. Embracing all that is me.

Listening to the sound of silence. Shutting out all outside noise. Surrendering to surrender sounds like a perfect way to end the Christmas season to me. 

“Quiet is peace. Tranquility. Quiet is turning down the volume knob on life. Silence is pushing the off button. Shutting it down. All of it. - Amir” 
― @Khaled Hosseini, @The Kite Runner

In the Spirit of Christmas

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.  ~Norman Vincent Peale

Greetings of the Season to friends and family far and wide. Though we may not see each other today, know that you are near and dear to my heart. I appreciate you being with me on my journey of love and light. I appreciate your comments when I post my blog. For you following me but not expressing comment but feeling your presence with me nonetheless.

And what a beautiful Christmas morning it is here in Bermuda. Sunny, cool and picture perfect. Birds are chirping. Our children are happily playing with their gifts and my husband and I are happy with the nongifts we brought each other.

Just wanted to send out wishes to you all around the globe. Remembering this day is not just about giving material gifts but also about spreading peace, love, and joy first with ourselves then allowing that energy to spread to others. Transcending all the hatred, greed and pestilence in the world replacing it with love and light.

Remembering that to the religious this is the day of the birth of Christ. To others it is a day of reverence and peace and loving. May we bury the hatchet for all transgressions and instead think from a place of gratitude, love and light. May we be nonjudgmental today remembering that we are all of the same cloth. From the One Source. And whatever our beliefs are today, may we have faith to know we are here for a reason. Regardless of our beliefs. Faith is what sees us through.

Today is my family day. My day of expressing gratitude for all that I have, have had and am about to receive. May it be the same for you.  A day of forgiveness, gratitude, love and peace.

Seasons Greetings to you all and to all a day filled with joy, love and peace.

@Merry Christmas

@Feliz Navidad

@Joyeux Noel

@Happy Hanukkah

@Heri  Za Kwanza

A few quotes that I love about Christmas

Christmas is a necessity.  There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves.  ~Eric Sevareid

Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.  ~Laura Ingalls Wilder

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.  ~Roy L. Smith

I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.  ~Charles Dickens

Christmas is the day that holds all time together.  ~Alexander Smith

Happy Holidays to you and and yours and may we hold in our hearts the memories of those who have departed for another dimension in our Universe knowing their love remains even when they have gone. In the Spirit of Christmas, Amen.

A wonderful start to the holiday season. A perfect end to a magical time in @NYC

Saturday was one of those magical family days when everything fell into place. When I felt like I had stars in my eyes as well as my family. When I felt like together we could conquer anything because we were so full of love, light, abundance and gratitude.

We woke up in our lovely hotel, The Benjamin, to snow flurries, miniscule but enough for my daughter to be super excited that it was snowing outside. Probably overlooked by the average New Yorker. But for my daughter every little dusting that fell was beyond magical. Proving wonder is in the eye of the beholder.

We took the train in search of Sarabeth's on 5th Avenue but never found it. And because it was one of those cold and windy days where it feels like the wind could rip right through your skin, we decided to find a restaurant, any restaurant within striking distance of our final destination to eat in.

We ended up at Ruby Tuesday's in Times Square and though it was not a restaurant that either of us would have chosen, it turned out to be the perfect restaurant for all of us. There was something for everyone on the menu. And it was nearly across the street from The Foxwood Theatre where we were going to see Spiderman. Reminding me that even though we set out with one destination in mind we often end up in a place different to what we thought but exactly where we are meant to be. Signaling that maybe Sarabeth's would not have been a good choice for us all at that time. Faith restored the Universe put us where we need to be.

We then took our seats at the Foxwood Theatre, right in the fly zone for Spiderman. Perfect seats with Spiderman landing so close to us several times we could have touched him. The only negative was we had a family sitting behind us who ate food the entire first half crinkling paper and making all sorts of annoying noises during the show. With my husband and I looking behind hoping they would get the message and stop. Instead they became indignant during the intermission when they talked amongst themselves loud enough for us to hear them. Accusing us of thinking we had a sense of entitlement that we felt they did not have the right to eat their popcorn.

They went on and on about us even though they did not speak directly to us. I have to admit it took everything within my power not to turn round and tell those ladies off but I didn't because we had our children with us and they had their children with them. I did not want children to see adults getting ignorant so instead I closed my eyes and asked for forgiveness for thinking the thoughts I had of those ladies and then I forgave them for their behaviour.

I asked the Universe to shift my energy from negative to positive. And as soon as I felt my energy shift they stopped talking about us and moved on to other things. Teaching me that often our energy helps to create or accelerate the negative energy of others and when we let go, the energy shifts as well. We can’t shift other people's energy but we can change our own.

And then we ended our evening with my family ice skating in Rockefeller Centre. A beautiful and awe inspiring sight with people of all different walks of life, ages, beliefs and goals all coming together to feel free and uninhibited on the ice. Faces full of smiles against the backdrop of the huge Christmas tree, giant toy soldiers, Christmas decorations, and people full of Christmas cheer. I did not join my family on the ice. Instead choosing to sit on the sidelines inhaling the wonderful energy that was free flowing in the rink. Watching with joy each time my children and husband grew more confident on the ice. Watching their faces change from fear to relaxation. Their body language from tension to acceptance.

And then our final meal in New York was at the wonderful The National restaurant with a menu crafted by Iron Chef George Zakarian. My daughter’s dream to go to an Iron Chef’s restaurant. The food and atmosphere was superb. Each of us talking with stars in our eyes about the escape we had experienced together as a family - something for everyone. Grateful that we are in a position to treat ourselves from time to time. For having quality time together. Feeling so much joy, love and abundance with my family.

And for bringing joy into the hearts of others, peace to myself and those I encountered, enjoying the journey rather than focusing on the destination, I am truly grateful. What an absolute wonderful start to the Christmas Season.

@The Benjamin Hotel

@Rockefeller Center

@George Zakarian

@The National

@Spiderman

@Ruby Tuesday

@New York City

@ The Foxwood Theater

The Sun will come out tomorrow @Annie

"The Sun will come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun. Just thinking about tomorrow, clears away the pain and the sorrow. Come what may. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. It's only a day away."
Annie. What a wonderful and unexpected treat. My family went to see the musical Annie last night and I am so glad we went as a family. It was eye opening for my children to see just how many people suffered during the Great Depression and to see just how fortunate they really are.
But what was even more amazing was how that story written about the Great Depression in the 1930s could apply to so many people today throughout our world today. Many people have lost jobs and are doing without. Illustrating that life comes in cycles. Sometimes we're up and sometimes we're down.
We are constantly right sizing ourselves. Trying to achieve the balance we need to help everyone to have a chance at life. Little Orphan Annie was left on the doorstep of the Orphanage by her parents with a locket and a note from her parents explaining to her that she was loved but they could no longer care for her because of the Depression. They left her with the best intentions of returning to her when they could provide her with a better life. Hoping she would be raised in a more nurturing environment than they could provide for her. But circumstances did not allow that to happen.
Annie had been stuck in the Orphange for 11 years. But she never lost hope that one day she would be rescued. One day her parents would come back to her. Feeling all along that she was special and loved. And because she felt this way she was filled with an unwavering faith that her life would be okay. That her circumstances were only temporary. So whenever said something was bad, she would counter with what was good about it. Always looking at the positive side rather than the negative.
And because she was so optimistic and full of life, her energy spread to those who came into her space. Filling them with hope, love and possibility. Such that when she was chosen to go to the home of the billionaire  Mr, Warbucks, she filled him with feelings of love and made him want to share his wealth with someone. They helped each other. She softening him and he loving her from a place he did not know existed before.
My family walked out of Annie hand in hand singing,"The Sun will come out tomorrow  Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun." We were filled to the brim with love, hope, faith and possibility. Particularly since the World did not end on 12.21.12. Particularly because we were together.
I know for a fact that when we exude possibility even in our darkest hour, particularly in our darkest hour, the sun always comes back for us. Annie reminded me of that last night and I am truly grateful that we went to see her.
And what was icing on the cake for me was that Annie's birthday was October 28 - my mother's birthday  so I felt my mother's presence with me last night as well. Smiling down on me and my family. Proud of where we are in life. And I knew I was being sent a message from above to keep going, to keep seeking, to keep spreading love and light because there is always enough abundance for us all when we believe. When we have faith and when we share. Reminding me that even when we lose someone we love, they always remain with us. Their souls and ours are intertwined and they come to us always letting us know there are no beginnings and endings.
Thank you Annie and my mother for reminding me just how easily it is to get what we want when we ask then surrender to the Universe. Remembering always to never giving up on the fact that we are all special in our own right. And we are all here for a reason. With love and light always. Amen

@December 21, 2012

December 21, 2012. We are still here. Living. Breathing. Enjoying another day as human beings on our beautiful planet called Earth. I have to admit I was a bit worried about whether we would come to an end today but then surrendered my fear to the Universe. Accepting that if today is our last day on Earth at least I am with my family enjoying some downtime in New York. Grateful for having another day. Experiencing the wonders of nature, people and discovering the new.
Not even the grey, dull, rainy day outside is deterring me from enjoying the fact that we as a human race we have been spared to enjoy our time here on Earth. I am planning to go outside and frolic with my family. Find new adventures and taking in all that we have on this Earth. Not complaining about the weather. Not focusing on lack. But embracing all the abundance I am surrounded by.
Particularly after last night when my husband and I attended the Leonard Cohen concert at The Barclay Centre in Brooklyn. A dream come true for my husband and he enjoyed every moment of it. Leonard Cohen for those of you who don't know him is 78 years old with a voice of gold. Gravelly, raspy, romantic, deep and rich, he serenaded us for 3 hours. His voice never faltering. His face sometimes looking like a 20 year old because he was responding to the positive energy in the crowd and did not want to leave us. He was living out his passion and because he was doing so sometimes his energy transported him back to his youth. Showing us his once unlined and youthful face.
He opened by saying he planned to do concerts for a few more years and was going to start smoking when he turns 80 in two more years. He commanded that stage like he was a young man taking us on an adventure through his life through his favourite songs. Drawing us in with his spoken rendition of a thousand kisses deep. Lulling us all in to the poetry and rhythm of his voice. Sending tremors through my being as his voice resonated on such a deep and personal level.
I looked at Cohen last night and was grateful for my husband introducing to this man. A man I would not have been introduced to had I not met my husband because culturally he would not have crossed my path. My husband and I are interracial and because we are we have introduced each other to cultures and people we would not have otherwise known had we not met. Had we not forced each other out of comfort zones.
Thanking my husband and @Leonard Cohen and another day on this Earth for reminding me that when we step outside of our comfort zones we grow, we expand, we gain more compassion and love and empathy because we understand that we are one. One Energy. One strand throughout our Universe.
For helping me to understand when we find our passions and live them out, no matter how old we are, we can still touch the hearts of many including ourselves. Passion gives us purpose and allows us to make it through our darkest hour.
For helping me to see when we go for it every single day without putting off til tomorrow or when the time is right, we open ourselves to so much more. When the clock struck twelve late night, my husband and I were sitting on the train waiting for it to bring us back to our hotel, I closed my eyes and asked the Universe to at least allow us to arrive back to the hotel to be with our children before the world ended. I prayed that if we were spared I would step up even more to help to bring love and light into this world.
When I woke up this morning to another day I decided I would write another blog. To share and continue to spread my joy in the event I touch someone else's heart. And now as I am ending this blog, the grey skies are giving way to a sunny and promising day. Here's to going for it and exploring outside my comfort zone for another day.
December 21 is not the end but rather the beginning of a new time for love, compassion, empathy and peace. A time for sharing and giving and making our planet a better place to be. Are you in?

The power of positive thoughts

The wind is still howling. The morning is still dark. Our flight came in last night but now we’re wondering if it will depart?

Positive thoughts is what I keep telling myself. Cast away the negative and think positively. If we are meant to get on that flight and arrive safely at our destination it will be so and there is nothing we can do about it except be grateful when we do.

Closing my eyes and feeling the chill in the air. Thinking about how just a few days ago I was wondering if winter was ever going to come. The weather had been so pleasant. So warm. So bright. And then in an instant it changed. Gusty winds. Cooler temperatures. Reminding me just how quickly life can change and how we must enjoy every moment of it. Never knowing when it will be our turn for a dramatic change.  Reminding me to be careful of what I ask for because we always get what we ask for and most often when we least expect it.

My family is off for a few days to enjoy the even cooler temperatures of New York. To have some quality time together away from our normal everyday reality. To experience the festive season in a place that knows how to celebrate Christmas. We won’t be there for Christmas as we have to be back home to be with my dad but we will be there long enough to soak up the festivities for a few days.

I am trying to remain positive. Thinking about the power of thought and how it can help us to get to where we need to be. I’m praying that the wind cooperates with us to push us to NY faster. Enabling our flight to be smooth and friction free. I’m praying that we arrive safely so that we each get to enjoy a bit of our @Christmas dream. Remembering always positive thoughts make dreams come true. Living life fully and in the moment makes us appreciate when we don’t. So here’s to doing both.

I’m not sure if I will be writing my blog over the next few days as I am planning to surrender and go  with the flow. Letting my body, mind and soul lead me to where I need to go.  Check in with me but if you don’t see my blog you’ll know why. 

Here’s to going with the flow and accepting the moment as the present it is. Enjoy as I intend to as well. 

Dancing in the rain

The wind is howling. The air is chilly. Trees are bending. The sky is dark with little twinkling stars. There is definitely a feeling of change in the air. Winter has finally come. Blowing its way through reminding me of the power of nature. Reminding me of the power of all that we have no control over. Reminding me to let go and go with the flow.

The rain pelted down on the roof last night almost as if it was trying to smash through. Holding my ears so I could block out the noises and go back to sleep, I was in awe of the power of nature. Of all that is out there that I have no control over. Allowing me to understand when I resist that which is meant to be I will always feel defeated, deflated and rejected. Because it is not for me to control nor for me to understand. But when I go with the flow like the trees bending and flexing in the wind, I will always be okay. I will have nothing to fear. Nothing to hide. I am always safe. Cocooned from the outside destruction.

Pulling the covers over my head. Grateful to have covers and shelter out of the winter storm blowing through my island home. Thinking of all those people less fortunate who have no shelter. Who have no blankets. No bed. No place to call home. Grateful for all I have. Protected from the rain, the wind and the winter gales blowing through.

Waking up this morning at 4.45 watching time slipping by. Knowing I had to get up but not wanting to. Just lying there and watching time slowly tick by. Listening to the sound of silence and enjoying every moment of it. Revelling in the year gone by. Thinking about what’s to come. Hoping this winter storm blows through quick enough that my family gets to travel tomorrow for a short interlude of escape from reality.

Getting up this morning feeling a twinge of wonder about the changes I feel coming. Feeling life flowing through every part of my body. Appreciating every aspect of my life. Sitting in silence. Letting my fingers guide me this morning. Writing what comes to me and enjoying hearing what my soul is telling me about me. Feeling possibility oozing through every pore of my body. Through every cell that forms my physical being. Allowing the inner me to guide me. Add sparkle to me. Knowing that when I surrender and let go. When I show gratitude and experience it. When I give of myself to those who need it, doors open to a world that allows possibility, hope, faith, love and light to dwell and radiate.

That’s where I feel I am right now in that house of faith, hope, love, light, peace, possibility and prosperity and for this blessing and feeling I am truly grateful. Howling winds and all.

And then I was led to this quote, “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” And this is why I am feeling so full of life because life is showing me that despite there being a storm howling outside, I am learning to dance in the rain. And what a liberating feeling it is to know I am capable of dancing, growing, moving even in the most harrowing moment. Even in the strongest storm. All I need do is let go and let be. With faith and grace. Knowing this storm too shall pass. 

Change comes from you and me

How many of my fellow Bermudians are as exhausted as I am this morning? I am exhausted beyond words. Last night’s election was a nail biter right to the end. Adrenaline was pumping the whole time so that when the election was called, I was still wide awake trying to digest what had happened.

Filled with anticipation, hope and marvel at the change in Government last night. I thought there was a fighting chance that the OBA would get in but I never dreamed some of the upsets that occurred in their journey to victory. Were any of you as surprised as I was about some of the upsets?

Nevertheless, the people of my Island home have spoken. Asking for change. Asking for inclusion. Asking to be heard. Challenging each other to be held accountable for what we do and say. Challenging our new government to lead us in another direction to the one we have been going down.

Bermuda, like many other countries in the world, is struggling to find its place again. Treading gingerly with our heads barely above the waterline as we try to navigate out of a period of uncertainty, darkness and fear. Now our people have spoken loudly and clearly declaring without a doubt that we are open to change. Open to the new. Open to positive change and we’re tired of the negativity that has been so pervasive in the lead up to the election.

For those who voted, congratulations for using your voice. Your power of choice to bring about this outcome. Even those who voted for the incumbent government and lost, congratulate yourself for exercising your right to vote. To be heard. Though the outcome was not as you may have expected you still contributed to the result.

To those of you, who voted for the new ruling party, remember there is still a long and hard road ahead of us. We are not in the Promised Land yet. There are many forces outside and within Bermuda that are contributing to the place we find ourselves in as we are truly a cog in the wheel of the global platform we sit in. But every cog is important in making that wheel rotate so what we need to do is accept we are where we are meant to be. And move forward with unity, faith and purpose.

We must forget the negativity of yesterday and live in the present moment with faith that we have chosen the new government of the day to run our country. We must remember it takes all of us to help our country to rise up from the ashes, don its wings and fly again. Like the Phoenix, Bermuda has been given a new life, a new chance to shine and it is up to all of us whether we are PLP supporters or are OBA supporters to represent the change we want to see. To be a part of the present we find ourselves in. To live it with grace, forgiveness, compassion, faith, and abundance.

The election is over. Wounds need now to be healed. Rainbows need to found. Lack replaced with abundance. Despair with hope.

Bermudians went to the polls yesterday and consciously chose to change the direction of the Island, resoundingly so. Now we must work together to bring our country back together working together to effect the change we want to see.

Teddy Pendergrass’ voice crept into my head with a song I loved and used as my mantra when I young. “Wake up everybody. No more sleeping in bed. No more backward thinking. Time for thinking ahead. The world has changed so very much from what it used to be. There is so much hatred, war and poverty. The world won’t get no better if we just let it be. Nah, nah nah. The world won’t get no better if we just let it be. We've got to change it yeah just you and me. Need a little help. Can't do it alone. Wake up everybody!”

Enjoy the link to this song: http://youtu.be/6NfCZEmLJ1Y

The power of our collective consciousness

Last night I watched the Interdenominational memorial service for those who lost their lives in the tragedy that occurred in Sandyhook in Connecticut and I was filled with such hope. Such love. To have many different religions share the same stage essentially sharing the same story. The belief in a higher power. Faith in the One Source. Reverence of all that we may not see nor understand but know is there was powerful beyond words.

It’s a shame that we allow different beliefs, religions, cultures, races to blind us from accepting we are all one, bond by a common thread until something tragic occurs linking us back to that common source. It’s a shame that so many children, innocent children, had to die in order for us to feel that common thread weaving through our hearts all around the world. But it happened and we got to experience the sharing of grief and disbelief that one human being could cause such pain. But was it one human being or was it our collective consciousness that led to this tragic event?

As President Obama said yesterday we have a collective responsibility to do a better job in caring for and raising our children to have compassion, love and a sense of belonging in this world so they will not snap one day and kill the innocence left in our world. We have a collective responsibility to preserve our communities by raising children who are givers to society rather than takers.

No matter where we come from. No matter how much wealth we may have. No matter what our religious beliefs are. Nor the colour of our skin. When we die we die the same way. Our spirits, our souls leave our physical bodies and go back to where we originated - wherever it may be. And the physical facade of our essence selves is stripped away and becomes nothing but a shell of what we truly are.

So at the end of the day does it make sense for us to judge, to criticize, to ostracize in order to make ourselves feel more superior to someone or something that is only temporary? For when we strip away all that is physical what remains is an essence, a spirit, a soul that has no boundaries, no definitions, and no form. What we are left with is an infinite existence full of love, light and compassion. And there is no distinction between any of us because we once again become a part of the whole. The One Source, God, Yahweh, Buddha, whatever name we chose to have faith in. To believe in.

Today my island home, Bermuda, will go to the polls to vote for our next Governing party. What we all must do is vote from our hearts and souls not from a place of coercion, divisiveness nor meanspiritness. We must vote for the party we believe has the best interests of our country, our children, and our future. The party that will help to bring us together as a community to allow us to remember we are raising the next generation and we want them to be raised with compassion, love and a sense of belonging so we can stop destroying our human race and the place we call home, this beautiful planet we are inhabitating called Earth.

May we go out today with love in our hearts, light in our eyes and compassion filling our souls to be the change we want to see. In peace, love and light, I pray. Amen.

A Prayer for Peace

There are 27 families in Connecticut facing the worst nightmare they could ever imagine. A 20 year old man suffering more than we can ever imagine walked into a school and killed 20 children. 6 adults and himself after killing his own mother.

There are 22 families in China facing their worst nightmare. A 36 year old man walked into a school and stabbed 22 children. Not killing them all but scarring them for their rest of their lives.

These  families from different cultural backgrounds, from different parts of the world woke up this morning  very different from when they woke up just the day before. Their children, grandchildren, sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews were senselessly and inhumanly killed or maimed by someone who lost touch with his connection to the One Source. To the fact that we are all one. To the fact that what one does, sends a ripple effect through our consciousness.

This is a season for loving, giving, receiving and abundance yet these two men did not feel this way. They wanted to take life for reasons we will never understand. To take the lives of the innocent, the future generations, the defenseless is unheard of yet this is what these men felt compelled to do. Many of us including myself are questioning why and how someone could do this.

The man in Connecticut also killed his mother then turned the gun on himself leaving no answers to the questions. Leaving no way for the parents of the children or the families of the adults who were killed to ever truly understand why.

As President Obama said yesterday this crime touched the hearts of every parent from around the world. I know it deeply touched me even though I have never met any of the children. Never met any of their parents. But I think of the season we are in. Of the gifts the parents have already purchased for their children for Christmas that will remain unopened. Of the joy that has been stripped from their lives. Of the pain they will endure for the rest of their lives. Of the dreams that have been shattered. Of the senselessness of the crime.

My heart bleeds for those families as if they were mine.  As they are mine. Incidents like these strip away all anonymity because it shows that no matter where we come from. No matter what we look like. No matter what we believe in, we are interconnected in ways we will never understand. What one does to another sends ripple effects through our consciousness. Sends chills through our bodies and demonstrates we are of One Source. One thread that connects us.

I pray for those families whose lives will never be the same. I encourage each and every one of us to pray for peace, love, compassion and thanksgiving. To pray for forgiveness and to give thanks for all that we have because we never know when and how our lives will change. Those families woke up yesterday morning with hope and possibility and probably went to bed last night feeling hopeless and full of impossibility.

We are in a time when we need to heal. To share. To love. To help. To have compassion and to be grateful for the present moment and to live it with love and abandon because it is the only present we have.

To the families in Connecticut I pray for you and with you.

To the families in China, I pray for you and with you.

For the families around the globe who see war every single day, I pray for you and with you.

To our human race, my sisters and brothers around the world, I pray for you and with you.

We are one love. One race. One family. Remember to love as much as we can. To give that which we want to receive so we can make this world a better place for the entire human race. Amen

Exploring jealousy

This morning I woke up with the concept of jealousy in my mind. And I kept trying to dismiss it. Kept trying to push it back into the recesses of my brain. Because I felt this is the season to be joyful, happy, and full of love. Not a season for thoughts of jealousy, envy or fear.

But then I came across this wonderful quote from @Eckhart Tolle, “How do you let go of attachments to things? Don't even try. It's impossible. Attachment to things drops away by itself when you no longer seek to find yourself in them" (Oneness With All Life)” and I knew the Universe was asking me to explore this concept further. Asking me to ponder why we become jealous of other people? And why other people become jealous of us?

How can we be the best of friends one day then enemies the next? What causes jealousy? And the only reasons I can think of are attachments, expectations, fear and more importantly ego. I also realize that jealousy comes from a place of lack and insecurity. A place where the only way we feel good about what we don’t have is to be envious of anyone that has what we want. Rather than giving ourselves permission to go for what we want. Ask for what we want.

Jealousy is a very difficult topic to tackle because at some point in our lives we will experience jealousy directed at us or we will direct it at someone else. I don’t know about you but when I am envious of someone my whole insides feel horrible. My energy levels are sapped and I don’t feel good about myself or that person at all. Creating a downward spiral into darkness. 

So what I tend to do when I feel myself spiralling to that dark place, I go within and ask myself from what place of lack is this feeling coming from. What can I learn about these feelings? 

And when I do,  I realize there is no reason to be jealous of anyone once I let go of my expectations and attachment. When I remember there is more than enough abundance in this world for us all to share. When I understand that everyone and everything has a season. And when I accept that there is a time and place for everything. When I acknowledge there will always be someone who has more or less than I do. And the only person I can ever improve is myself. When I let go of trying to compare myself to anyone else because we are all experiencing lessons in our lives regardless of how much we have or whether we are living our dream lives.

I have also learned by expressing gratitude every day for everyone and everything that comes into my life whether good or bad, attachments disappear without me even trying. Because what I recognize is that I have more than enough in my life than I do not enough.

I have also come to understand I am human, imperfect and full of ego sometimes. Consequently, I will experience feelings of jealousy and when I do I am mirrored those feelings back so that I can learn to forgive myself and to forgive others.

Life is all about the lessons we learn. The people and possessions that come and go in our lives. Life is also about knowing when to stop searching, when to stop seeking answers to that which there are no answers. To have faith and trust in the Universe that we are where we are meant to be. And when we learn these lessons we learn there is no need to be jealous. No need to be envious. Because we are all here for a purpose and that purpose is to love and to be loved.

Be the change I want to see

I learnt an invaluable lesson yesterday about trust. It is very difficult for people to trust again when they have been let down in the past. Very difficult for them to believe in new ideas when they have become accustomed to old ways of thinking. Very difficult to penetrate negative mindsets even when we are searching for something positive.  Even when the light has been placed right in front of us, some of us refuse to see it. Can’t see it. Won’t see it.

And yesterday I witnessed this aspect of many people and at first it really made me feel useless. Deflated even because I was so keen in helping to orchestrate change in mindsets. So keen to inspire a revolution of old negative behaviours and challenge people to change to a new way of thinking. And it did not happen in the way I expected. So I was crushed.

For the rest of the day I felt like something was missing. Something was not sitting right with me. I felt it would be impossible to shift the mindset of people who are desperate for change but are not willing to take small steps forward. I contemplated the nature of people for the remainder of the day. Trying my hardest to think of how best to help them.

And then I realized it was arrogant of me to think I could change anyone but myself. Arrogant of me to think I can make any significant changes to anyone other than myself. I realized all I need do is to continue to spread the love, light, and abundance I feel inside and if there are people who really want to live their lives in this way, they will start to change when they are ready. Not when I think they should.

I realized this morning that sometimes the change does not come as a watershed moment. Sometimes it’s just a trickle at a time until eventually that trickle begins to leak and then it turns into a flood. But what I cannot do is give up on my faith that every single one of us is looking for love and validation. And when we speak in terms of success, we speak in terms of love. When we speak in terms of change, we speak in terms of love. When we speak in terms of abundance, we speak in terms of love.

I understand exactly what the quote, “In order to effect the change we want, we have to be the change we want to see.”  I recognize in these times of scarcity and fear, I have to repeat over and over again, “in order to effect the change I want, I have to be the change I want to see.”  And I have to remind myself every single day.  Not just turning it on and off depending on the company I am in. Instead I will seek out the company that is of like mind.

Remembering always that when we are trying to be in the presence of love and light so we can live that way, we are always confronted by the darkness and the scarcity mentality because the Universe is testing us to see what we really want.  Remembering also that sometimes there are no concrete answers, plans or goals. Instead we have to trust and have faith that the Universe is providing us with exactly what we need when we need it.

I also recognized that my disappointment with yesterday’s result stemmed from the fact that I had allowed ego to creep in. Allowed all the negative chatter to take precedence over the positive. Allowed my expectations to take precedence over my intentions. But last night just before going to bed, I participated in the global meditation called, " The Master Shift - 12.12.12- Global Unity Movement" and I felt my vibration change.

I am again full of hope and love and light because I chose to be in the presence of the One Source. Of connecting with like minded people from around the world and my whole being was filled with joy, surrender and love. My faith was renewed and I know without a shadow of doubt that my journey of love and light will not always be easy but if I keep focused on being the change I want to effect.  Even in those times when it is the most difficult. I will feel content within myself. And eventually I will see the change I want to see not just in myself but in others as well.

There is a Universal revolution going on right now. A revolution to return to the principles of love, light, peace, prosperity and abundance and I am really grateful to be a part of it. And I will continue to be the change I want to see even when I am confronted with mistrust, doubt and fear. Embracing the fact that in the absence of love, there is only fear. And for this lesson and blessing,  I am truly grateful.
@themastershift

@12.12.12

12.12.12. The last time we will experience triple digit dates in our lifetime. A day filled with much anticipation. A day where the portal is said to open for a new way of thinking. World meditation day when we are meant to open our hearts to love. To share . To help bring about the shift in human consciousness.

I woke up this morning with this date twirling and swirling through my mind. Thinking I would come to my computer and craft a profound blog about this date. Something that would delve in to the ascension that is meant to come from this date. Instead I sat and stared at the screen. Then started reading emails and taking care of my everyday living expenses, reading Facebook.  Doing everything but writing.

Searching for some inspiration . Something that would allow me to write about the profoundness of this date of 12.12.12. And then I did my meditation with @Deepak Chopra and his meditation was about Manifesting dreams. About the fact that we only manifest what comes from within.

Chopra believes luck is the result of awareness and intention. Having dreams spontaneously fulfilled is not luck. Luck is a concept invented and used by those who have not discovered the power of living in alignment with the soul, spirit and source. Once we live in alignment with the source, we enjoy everyday miracles and we never worry about if our dreams will come true. Instead we hold faith and trust that they will come true.

And what I realized was that I was led to Chopra to help me understand that I cannot rely on external comments on what 12.12.12 means. I had to dig deep within myself to feel what the significance of this date means to me, if at all. I thought about the numbers over and over again. And I realized it is a day just like the day before and possibly the day after. It is a day for manifesting my dreams. My intentions. And the significance it holds is up to each of us individually. Allowing for a collective consciousness to forge if our individual consciousness stems from our authentic selves.

In this millennium, we have seen many triple digit dates 01.01.01, 2.2.02, 3.3.03, 4.4.04, 5.5.05, 6.6.06, 7.7.07, 8.8.08, 9.9.09, 10.10.10, 11.11.11, and now finally 12.12.12 because we are children of the new millennia. Those who brought in a new time. And today is another day for us to act from a place of love, peace and prosperity. To recognize that there is enough abundance for us all.

I then meditated with Wayne Dyer’s ‘I Am’ meditation and felt myself becoming lighter and less egotistic. Less expectant of what this day is meant to mean. Making way for me to feel acceptance and receptive of what this day is. I asked the Universe to use me today to help to bring love and light into my heart and to anyone else who wants to receive its blessings and abundance.

I asked to be the love and light we all are capable of being. And then I surrendered all to the Universe. Closing my eyes and feeling the power of love and the abundance of the Universe flowing through my entire being. I felt my consciousness shift to a place of acceptance and understanding. Without expectation, without judgment, with pure intentions of being a bringer and receiver of love and light on this day of ascension and transformation.

May the spirit of the One Source dwell within me and in you today and may we spread peace and prosperity through our consciousness. Enabling those who come into contact with us to feel the possibility that exists for us all.

In the name of the One Source, God, the Higher Power, Yahweh, Jehovah, Mohammed, Buddha, or whatever name that rings true for you today, may we recognize we are all one. One love. One consciousness. One race – the human race sharing this journey called life together. Amen.

Surrendering to the One Source through writing

Every morning I wake up and sit at my computer with an image of a blank sheet of paper up on my screen.  Empty. No words. Willing me to create. Asking me to create. I look at the image of the white sheet of paper and sometimes I am intimidated by it. Not knowing where to begin. Other times I start writing nonstop. My fingers charging across the keyboard.

Those days I know I am in direct concert with the spirit and I am bring moved to write a message for myself as well as for everyone else who reads my blog. I know on those days I am learning a lesson as well as teaching a lesson. I am the student and the teacher. And I glory in those moments.

Then there are days when I struggle to write. Fighting. Resisting each word. Thinking too hard. Trying too hard. The typing is slow. The flow stops and starts. Forcing me to accept there is no flow. And then I get frustrated wondering where the spirit has gone. Wondering why it has abandoned me.

So I sit and contemplate. Sit and contemplate some more. Get up and walk around. Contemplating as I walk. Changing the scenery to see if inspiration hits me. And invariably it does. Somewhere along the way I find the rhythm. The connection to the One Source. I hear the voice of the Divine Force resonating through me. And then I start to write. The writing flows nonstop. It comes from a place deep within. A place of all knowing. A place of abundance. A place of faith. A place of love.

And that is what writing is all about. Like life when I allow ego to stand in the way of what I am writing, I often end up with something that is too stilted. Too forced. And not really me. When I close my eyes and surrender to all that is, my writing takes on a life of its own. It becomes me. It forms all of what is going on inside me. It tells my story. Allowing me to tell my story from a place of authenticity.

Writing has taught me a lot about myself. About life. About people. About spirit. About surrender. About ego. About love. About forgiveness.  Writing has taught me that even on those days when I feel the spirit has abandoned me. When my writing is harder. The spirit has never left me. The Divine Source is always within me. Beside me. Around me. Providing all that I need. All I need do is ask with conviction and with the belief that I am worthy of all that the Universe has to offer. And once I surrender to it, my writing flows. My faith grows. My spirit soars and comingles with all that is, was and ever will be.

Writing is my passion because it opens me up to the more. Opens me up to my authentic self.  Brings me face to face with my authentic self. Mirrors my shadow self to me. Allowing me to see all of me. Allowing me to share me with me and with anyone else who wishes to journey with me through my blog.

And lets me know even on the times when I am feeling rejected, neglected and abandoned, I am still learning a lesson. I am still in direct concert with the spirit. I am still the teacher and the student. The spirit is just asking me to sit and contemplate and reconnect with it. With me. With my passion. To not just expect it. But to accept it. Some days it is tough and will be tough but we are never abandoned. Never alone because we are all connected to the One Source.

When we find our passions and practice them as much as we can, we become more of who we authentically are, every single time we surrender, without question, to our passion.  Some days it will be easy. Other days it will not. But we never give up. Ever. And for this lesson I am truly grateful.

@writing

@passion

@One Source

@lesson

@abundance

@shadow self

We are reflective of the company we keep.

Through our environments we tend to inherit the beliefs of those we are with. We are reflective of the company we keep. Those environments help to define who we are and what we believe.

It is up to us to find those who share the same beliefs as us. It is also up to us to shed those whose beliefs differ dramatically from us no matter how difficult it may be to do so. We are the charterers of our course in life. And if there is excess baggage then we must have the nerve to let it go to save ourselves.

Remembering always when we let the baggage go, we let it go with dignity, compassion and grace. We do so with the mindset that people change and have the right to change - as do we. We let them go with forgiveness as well. Forgiving them for any wrong they may have caused in our lives because we recognize the wrong they did helped us to realize who we are not and what we can’t carry anymore. We forgive ourselves for thinking horrible thoughts about that person or people.

And then once we have made our decision, we surrender it to the Universe. Asking the Universe to heal our pain and help us to move on to the next stage of our lives. Sending gratitude to the severed ties. Not malice. Because there could come a time again in life when those ties will once again connect. Will once again be necessary for us to move on to another stage.

Goodbyes don’t have to be forever. Friendships and relationships have a time and season. And sometimes those seasons have to end in order for us to grow even further. But that does not mean we are saying goodbye forever. And that is why when we say good bye we do it with as much compassion, forgiveness, love and grace as we can. For only then will we know we are doing it for the betterment of ourselves and those we are letting go. Only then will we understand, we are not doing it from a place of ego or hate but from a place of surrender and love.

Life can sometimes take us on paths unexpected. Leaving us feeling pretty raw and full of pain. But if we did not experience these emotions, how would will we ever know when it’s time to let go. How will we ever know who we are and who we are not? How will we know what baggage we can handle versus baggage we cannot? How will we ever know what we believe and what we do not?

Remembering always we are reflective of the company we keep, the environments we are in. Look around you today and decide if this is truly who you are. And if it is not, it is time to change whatever or whomever does not feel right.
@relationships
@beliefs
@environment
@goodbye
@compassion
@life
@love

@Pantomime unexpected lessons

Writing from the heart this morning. Just letting it go. Seeing what my inner most self is trying to tell me. Exploring where my soul is taking me today. Going with the flow and let it come through my fingertips.

It’s Saturday morning, very early but I’m up and bright and bushy tailed because I have a long day ahead of me. My daughter’s first day of doing two shows for the Pantomime so I want to be there with her to let her know I am supporting her. It’s amazing to watch the confidence growing for all the children in the Pantomime this year.

They have moved from not knowing what to do. Not sure about what makeup they have to wear to applying it themselves. Taking charge of their own destiny. Getting themselves ready so when their cue comes they are up on stage. It’s wonderful to see them maturing and accepting responsibility for their roles. What's even more amazing is they range in age from 9 – 12. All from different backgrounds and schools but they have forged a camaraderie amongst themselves.

I am so proud of them. It’s not easy going on stage every night and becoming a character in front of a live audience but they have risen to the challenge. I never knew how much work went on behind the scenes to make sure everyone is ready and is costume. This is a first for me as well and I have forged friendships with people I would not have otherwise either. Telling me that every once in a while it is good for us to step out of our comfort zones. Do something different. Be amongst new people, new experiences. Stretch our boundaries. Because when we do, we see just how versatile and adaptable we really are. I know this experience has done that for me. And I know it has broaden the horizons of my nine year old daughter.

It also lets me see, as it has my daughter,  that at the base of it all we are all the same. Regardless of where we come from. Regardless of what we look like. Regardless of what we do on a daily basis. When everyone is scurrying around the dressing room area, no one knows where we came from or who we were before we walked through the door but once we are there we become the Pantomime family working together to put on the best production we can. No hierarchy. No questions asked. Just getting on with each other and striving toward our common goal of having a great show. And so far so good.

What a great experience for my daughter, for me and for everyone involved. An experience well worth having and one that will teach my daughter and myself lessons forever. That at the base of it all we are all the same. Spirits in human form of the One-Source seeking to love and to be loved.

Here’s to our day of acting, dressing, and working together. I enjoyed that flow this morning. Happy Saturday everyone.

We always get what we give

Lately I have been counseling many people about betrayal, disappointment, and rejection. There seems to be a lot of people who are coming face to face with their shadow selves. And obviously so am I because these people are coming into my life to teach me something about myself as well. By counseling them, I realise, I am actually counseling myself. Helping myself to understand more about my whole being. As much as I am helping them.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who is being challenged at work. She believes colleagues are taking her ideas as their own. Promoting themselves at her expense. Leaving her feeling angry, bitter and resentful. Looking at her body language I could see that she was feeling much smaller than she normally would. Her shoulders were hunched. Her eyes without their normal sparkle. Her energy exuding negativity.

I looked her in the eyes and told her she had to stop thinking about her colleagues. Stop giving them so much of her power. Stop fueling their ambitions by spiraling out of control. I advised her that she needed to take back her power by concentrating on herself. By challenging herself to find out what it is she wants out of life. Rather than on what she doesn't.  And if she did that she would find herself on a path that would make her life that much easier than the path she was presently on.

I also told her to forgive herself for being angry with her colleagues and to forgive her colleagues for their actions. To release the darkness that was threatening to pull her down to place she would have a difficult time finding her way out of. To surrender to where she was and ask what the lesson is that she is meant to receive from her colleagues and really listen to the answer.

And by giving her that advice I realized I was talking to myself as well. I heard the advice I was giving to my friend loud and clear as if it was an echo to myself.  My own advice resonated with me so deeply that I felt that much lighter. And the beauty of our exchange was that I could see I had hit a nerve with her as well. I could see the light coming back into her eyes. I could feel the tension oozing out of her shoulders. I could feel her energy shifting. Creating a bubble of support. Of love. Of understanding.

We both walked away from our session feeling much lighter than when we first met.  Feeling hope and inspired. Leaving me to think about her, about life, about myself. And what I realized is that when we give from the heart without expectation, without judgment, with love and compassion, we always receive in return.

Reminding me that life is about sharing, helping others, love and compassion. And when we live our lives that way, we are always rewarded. Because we are one. Sahring this journey called life together.

@compassion

@shadow self

@love

@forgiveness

@sharing

@ betrayal

@rejection

Ram Dass, Faith vs. Belief

According to Ram Dass, belief comes from the mind. Whereas faith comes from the heart. Faith is that which we find when our beliefs are shut to hell. When we have nothing more to feel or believe, all we are left with is faith.

Now I understand. I watched the clip of Ram Dass being interviewed by Oprah on Super Soul Sunday and in that moment something solidified in me I did not even know I was wrestling with. Now I understand why I keep going even when my beliefs in people, circumstances and outcomes have been annihilated. It’s because I have tremendous faith. I know what I know deep down inside. Even when I think I don’t. There is that little friend called faith that sees me through. Guides me through. Wills me through.

After my mother died, I believed in nothing. Felt nothing. Was angry. Afraid. Felt abandoned but then each day the light at the end of the tunnel got a little brighter, stronger. I remember feeling like something was helping me. Reassuring me. Staying with me.  At the time, I did not understand what it was. But now I know without a shadow of doubt it was faith that was willing me to go on. To believe in more than my beliefs. Or the beliefs of others. To understand my connection to the Spirit. The One Source. The Most High.

It was through the death of my mother that I understood and understand there is much more to us than the physical. We are spirit that lives on and on. Some believe in different physical forms. Others not. We are infinite beings. I feel my mother’s presence in my life more than I do not and she died some 36 years ago when I was a 13 year old girl on the cusp of learning.

What I know is it is faith that gets me through even when I think there is nothing to believe in. No one to believe in. Faith is very different from belief because it comes from a place of nonjudgement, nonexpectation. It comes from a place of pure and unrefined love and light. It comes from the well of abundance that allows us to flourish even when we think we can't. Even when everyone tells us we can't.

I know now more than ever, there is no belief that can kill my faith unless I allow it. Faith is what gets me through my darkest hour and reminds me there is always light after the dark.  I have faith. I accept faith. I am faith. And I go on in faith. Amen.

@RamDass

@Faith

@Oprah

@SuperSoulSunday

@Death

I believe

“…From a distance
There is harmony
And it echoes through the land
Its the voice of hope
Its the voice of peace
Its the voice of every man

From a distance
We all have enough
And no one is in need
And there are no guns, no bombs and no disease
No hungry mouths to feed
From a Distance
We are instruments
Marching in a common band
Playing songs of hope
Playing songs of peace
They are the songs of every man

God is watching us
God is watching us
God is watching us
From a distance

From a distance
You look like my friend
Even though we are at war
From a distance
I just cannot comprehend
What all this fightings for
From a distance
There is harmony
And it echoes through the land
And its the hope of hopes
Its the love of loves
Its the heart of every man

God is watching us
God is watching us
God is watching us
From a distance” Sung by @Bette Midler. Written by J@ulie Gold

I woke up this morning with the voice of Bette Midler singing this song in my head. Willing to write about it. To spread its message. Songs of hope. Songs of peace. Songs of love. That is what we need right now.

We are all far too consumed with all that is impossible, hopeless and that which is beyond our control. We need to shift our focus from the negative to the positive. All of us - if we are to change our world.

Each one of us is responsible for the energy vibrating throughout our Universe. Each one of us is responsible for our own wellbeing and thought processes. Each one of us has the power to change this world and our own circumstances by believing. Believing in the fact that we are one. And what one does sends a ripple effect throughout the Universe.

Some people are offended by the word God but it can be substituted with any name that makes us feel at peace – @Yahweh, @Buddha, the @Universe, @Mohammed, @Haile Selassie, AMost High of Creation, any name that brings harmony to our souls. Dig deep and feel the harmony that echoes throughout the land because it comes from a place deep within us all. And it is there for us all.

Close your eyes and listen to, From a Distance, and feel the power of those words. Feel your energy shift. Feel possibility replace impossibility. Feel the love we all share. Embrace the fact that we are of one cloth regardless of what we look like on the outside. Regardless of our socioeconomic background. Regardless of our religion. Or lack thereof. Regardless of where we live. We all come from the One Source. And we come from love, light, peace and harmony.

I believe. Do you?

@From a Distance

An inward @prayer of @surrender

When life feels like an uphill battle. When friends feel like enemies. When enemies feel like friends. When ill feelings replace good feelings. When life turns us completely upside down. What does it all mean?

Where do we turn? What do we do? When we feel like we are being constantly tested and betrayed and given away. When enough never feels like enough. What are we meant to do? Where are we meant to turn?

When we feel all these mixed up feelings, we are being asked to turn within. To look within. To search within. To centre ourselves and decide what it is we want out of life. Who we want in our lives. And to always try to see life from the viewpoint of others. To forgive. To let go. To surrender.

To know that no matter how dark it may seem, there is always light within. There is no one outside of us that can fix us. Can change our direction. Our path. But us.

There is no magic thing outside of us that can help us. Not any addiction. Attraction or affliction. The answer to all of our dilemmas comes from a place deep within us. A well of abundance, compassion and love. A place where there is more than enough for all of us to experience pure bliss.

So on those days when we feel like we can take no more. Trust no more. Love no more. That’s when we are being challenged to go to that place. To allow ourselves to dwell in that well of bliss. To ask no more questions. To fret no more. To just be and surrender to the Universe. And to trust that we are being shown exactly what we need to learn at all times.

Today I surrender all to my well of abundance. Today I trust in the Universe that I am who I am as I am. Today I accept I am a child of the Universe. A part of the whole. And I embrace all that is and trust that it is as it should be. Amen.

A foggy @Monday morning makes way for clarity

This morning my alarm went off and I could not believe it was time to get up. I felt like I had just gone to sleep. So I was really confused about where I was and what I was meant to be doing.

And then I realized it was Monday and I panicked. Froze. Thinking about how trying the next couple of weeks will be.  The Pantomime starts on Thursday and from today on I will be involved every night somehow in making sure my daughter gets to the theatre on time, makeup is applied and she is ready to go on stage.

 Rehearsals begin in earnest tonight for the Opening night on Thursday. My mind was spinning about how I was going to accomplish everything I need to get done at work to leave the office in time to get her to practice on time.

Then I went into an even greater tizzy when I remembered I had not been in the office for a week and I had so much to catch up on there. I wanted to put my head back under the covers and not come back out until December 16 when the Pantomime was over and the demands were lessened. I questioned why I get myself involved in so much.

I was so confused and out of sorts that I even forgot how to shut off the alarm. I forgot that I was in my own bed this morning. I forgot my morning routines. I even felt for the first time that I could not create this blog. That it too was another burden I had placed on myself. And as soon as I told myself my blog was a burden too, a sense of calmness came over me.

I realized that if I was going to make it through today and the next 13 days I would have to shift my mindset from lack to abundance. From pity to glory and joy. From too much to do to embracing I am where I am meant to be.

After remembering how to turn off my alarm and giving myself a pep talk, I got out of bed. Repeating to myself that I am grateful for another day on this Earth. For being at home with my family. For waking up on Monday morning with much to do. Rather than not waking up at all.

I then knew I needed to meditate. To seek inner peace. To give myself permission to quieten my mind. To allow myself space to see what I am capable of handling without panic. Without outside noise and interference.  So I looked for my 21 day meditations I had downloaded from the Chopra Centre.

At first I allowed fear to enter my mind again when I remembered I could not find the downloads over the weekend. But this morning because I had shifted my consciousness and told the Universe how much I needed those meditations, as soon as I opened my download folder, there they were.  Like magic they were waiting for me.

And I felt so much better. So much clearer. So much lighter. Particularly when the meditation that was waiting for me was all about abundance. And that fact that abundance is my universal right. Elation replaced degradation as I knew the Universe was answering my call.

I went into my meditation with gratitude. And when I came out, all became clear to me. The next 14 days will be trying. Exhausting and busy. But it is up to me to decide how I will be during these days. It is up to me to say no sometimes when I have enough on my plate. It is up to me to centre and focus myself so I can radiate the peace and abundance I carry within myself at all times. I chose to be where I am and will be over the next fourteen days. There is no one to blame for the obligations I have placed on myself but myself.

So instead of feeling overwhelmed this morning, I chose to feel grateful that I have so much in my life rather than feeling bad for what I don’t. I chose to shift my mindset to embrace all the abundance and good that flows throughout the Universe rather than on all that is bad. And soon my body was tingling and my mind was clearer and I knew no matter what comes my way, it is within Divine right to choose how I will be.

Happy Monday everyone and here’s to a couple of weeks of trails. I welcome them with open arms because I am where I am meant to be. With abundance, grace, and gratitude. Namaste.

Lost luggage leads to me a lesson well learned

Yesterday I was taught an invaluable lesson. I arrived in Bermuda from Boston after a week of travel to discover that my luggage did not make the journey with me. And instead of being angry or disappointed about that, I was more disappointed that I did not follow my own instincts. That I did not listen to my own inner compass which was telling me something was amiss.

The night before when I checked in in Chicago, I was told by the curbside check in handler that my bag would be checked right through to Bermuda because I had less than a 12 hour layover. What he was telling me made no sense and I told him so but he was insistent that what he was telling me was true. Still it did not sit well with me for two reasons. Firstly, I had an overnight layover in Boston. Secondly,  I was flying to Bermuda on a different airline.

I told the check in handler those facts and he said it did not matter because the rules are the rules. He was very convincing and he even showed me my baggage check claim which showed that my bag would be on the American flight to Boston then the Delta flight to Bermuda the next day. Even though it still did not resonate with me, because he was so convincing and showed me the evidence that what he was saying was true, I believed him.

However as I walked away from my bag sitting by itself on the curbside I had these feelings of unease snaking through my body. My mind telling me to check the baggage carousel when I got to Boston. I shrugged those feeling off as  I walked away thinking I was just being paranoid and trying to control situations that were beyond my control.

When the flight landed in Boston, my inner radar again peaked and told me to go to the baggage carousel to make sure my bag was not there but I chose to ignore it thinking I had to trust that others are capable of doing their jobs. Not just me. I walked out of that airport with every sense in my body telling me to go back to the baggage carousel but I was so tired and it was so late that I decided to ignore it.

Through the night I had visions of my bag sitting in the Boston airport unclaimed but again I dismissed them. So when I got back to Bermuda and my bag was not there, I knew I had no one to blame but myself. My inner compass was telling me what to do. My inner voice was screaming at me to check on my bag. My whole body was letting me know that my instincts were right and the check in guy was wrong. But I chose to ignore all the signs that were blatantly obvious to me.

There was no one to blame but myself and I learnt an invaluable lesson. What was reinforced to me was, when we know we always know. No matter how convincing others are. No matter how we don’t want to hurt the feelings of others. We cannot ignore our inner compasses. Our inner voices. Because when we do, we always go down the path that will be the most difficult for us.

And I guess I have been ignoring my inner voice for the longest time now because the Universe chose to show me the power of my inner voice by teaching me a lesson in the simplest and most obvious way through the loss of my luggage. There’s no arguing that fact now. And for this lesson I am truly grateful. I get it Universe. I understand what those symptoms feel like now from this most basic lesson so I will do my best to listen and take heed. That’s only if I want my life to be without struggle of course!