Yesterday was a very strange day for my daughter and me. It
started out with lots of drama because she did not want to do cross country and
her school had planned for all the Upper Primaries to take part in an Inter-House
cross country competition.
She had made up her mind that she hated cross country and
didn’t see why she had to do it so she spent the morning crying and pouting and
generally being miserable about the whole thing. She couldn’t understand why
some people didn’t have to do it but she did. She didn’t want my husband and me
to come and watch because she wanted to keep feeling sorry for herself and she
didn’t think she would do well.
Then yesterday afternoon, I left work a little early because
she had signed herself up to do an audition for the Bermuda Youth’s Got Talent
show. She had signed up to do a dance with her cousin who decided this week
that she did not want to do the show because she does not like being on stage.
My daughter was very disappointed at first but then decided she still wanted to
do the audition so she redid her dance for herself. She practised over the
three days with such determination that she made me proud.
So when my husband dropped her off to me to go to the
audition, I was wondering how she would be after having been “forced” to do the
cross country. Well it turns out she came fifth overall in the cross country in
a field of about 40 girls! So she actually did incredibly well. When I asked
her how she did it, she said, “I think I
do much better when I have an audience because then I get nervous and I get an
extra push to do better and that’s what happened for the race. I don’t usually
do well in gym when I do cross country but I do better when it’s a competition.”
She was feeling pretty proud of herself. Then when we got
her dressed for the audition and she looked like the Princess she was
portraying in her dance, once again I saw a transformation in her. She looked
so determined and so ready to do her thing on her own. We talked as we walked
in for the audition and she said she really loves being on stage. But when they
asked if she was ready, she nervously said no and grabbed my hand. Her whole
face looking terrified. Then I told her to remember what she had said about being
on stage. The light came back into her face as she repeated, “I do like being
on stage mommy.” And with that her
confidence came back.
As she walked to the stage, she grabbed my hand and asked me
to come with her to the stage but not to stand where she could see me. I stood
to the side so I could not see her but I watched the audience to gauge their reaction
as my little eight year old danced by herself on the big stage to a dance she
had choreographed all on her own and practised for only three days. I saw them
enjoying her dance. My heart was racing. My palms were sweaty because I was
nervous and proud at the same time.
When she finished everyone clapped. She ran off the stage
and she grabbed my hand. Once again my fragile little girl. I could feel her
whole body shaking and her little palms just as sweaty as mine. To say I had
gone from a parent who was angry with my little girl in the morning to one in
the afternoon whose heart was bursting with pride at her bravery and
determination to do what she wanted to do regardless of whether anyone else did
is an understatement.
Even if she does not get into the final cut for the show, I will
always remember how she transformed herself from that broken little girl in the
morning to the determined and regal girl in the afternoon simply because she
believed in herself and adjusted her attitude accordingly. A lesson I will take
out of her book and apply to my own.
No comments:
Post a Comment