When I dare

How is it that when I was a young girl
I used to look across the ocean
And know the world out there
The world I had not seen
Was mine
How did I beleive
I could be anything I wanted to be
When did it happen
How did it happen
That time and people jaded me
Did it begin when death crept in
Banged down my door
And gripped me in its hands
Taking my breath away
Stealing my dreams
When it took the woman
The woman that made me believe
That had me see
That I could be anything
Anything I wanted to be
Not by her intentional exmaple
But by her tortured example
I saw her not do
Not change
Not grow
I saw the fear that often clouded her eyes
That kept her imprisoned where she was
Because she thought there was no other way
Believed there was no other way
She gave me the drive
The drive to be much more than she was
Because she loved me
Loved me unconditionally
And let me be who I was
But then when she left
When death claimed her
Before I was ready
Something died inside of me
And the ocean became too vast
Too scary
Because there was no one cheering me on
No one in my corner anymore
Telling me I coud be whomenever I wanted to be
The world grew much larger
The trials much greater
The dreams no longer pleasurable
The road more beaten up
Until the day I realised
She was not gone
She is still here with me
She is the ocean
She is the beaten up road
She is the path
She is me as I am her
And then the distance and ferocity of the ocean
Paled into insignificance
And I realised I am still the girl
The girl that stood at the shore of the ocean
And looked across it vast expanse
At its seemingly endless horizon
And knew there was a world
A world out there
A world I had never seen
A world waiting for me
To cross that ocean
And be who I was sent here to be
I have crossed that ocean many times now
And seen the world I had never seen
And now know
I am just like the people
I see and have never seen
Because we are all one
Spun from the same cloth
And the ones who make it in life
Are the ones who cross the ocean
The ocean that frightens them
To experience the world on the other side
Letting them know
Letting us know
There is nothing to fear
Nothing at all
Except fear itself
Because we are all capable
All capable
Of crossing the ocean
When we drop the barriers
The barriers we place on ourselves
When we allow ourselves to embrace
To embrace the child
Who remains inside
The child who dreamed and still dreams
That he is capable of being
Whomever she wants to be
Because there is nothing stopping us
From reuniting with the child
The child that believes in miracle
Because he knows without question
That she is the miracle
How wonderful and liberating is it
To know
The only ocean that seperates us
One from the other
Is the ocean we allow to keep us
From what is rightfully ours
Now I understand why I am an Island Girl
Why I grew up on an Island
An Island all on its own
In the middle of the North Atlantic
That's why I was given
A mother who died
Who slipped away into the ocean
Into the beaten up road
Into the path
To allow me to know
To get to the other side
Of pain
Of the ocean
I have to work and not just dream
I have to do and not just hope
In order to meet the world
The world waiting on the other side
The people wating on the other side
The life waiting on the other side
For me to cross over
To be all I am
Who I always have been
And always will be
To know
There is no amount of pain
No amount of disappointment
That can keep me from being who I am
Unless I allow them to stop me
Imprison me
Unless I forget
Inspite of it all
I have crossed the ocean
Many times before
And will many times more
Because there is nothing that seperates us
From our dreams
Except us
Us alone
Because I am still that little girl
Standing at the edge of the ocean
This time knowing
What I have to do
To get to the other side
Is to embrace confidence
And work through fear
And believe
Just believe
I can
When I dare