Our children are the architects, engineers and designers of their own lives

This summer I am learning so much about how to parent growing children. Children on the verge of understanding more about themselves. Children on the verge of becoming independent thinkers. My husband and I have always taken the approach that when our children express an interest in something, we provide them with the means to explore that interest early. To see if it is something that is truly for them so they can determine if it is something they really want to pursue.Rather than dream, we are encouraging them to do. To try rather than imagine.

If they say they want to sky dive, we try to facilitate that. If they say they are interested in performing arts, we immerse them in it to see if that’s what they want as my daughter has expressed and so there she is for the next three weeks. As my son expressed an interest in programming so he spent two weeks exploring his passion. And after his two weeks, he came away thinking programming is definitely something he wants to pursue but not sure what avenue he will take to make something out of it – engineering, gaming, etc. so now he has something to think about more because he has been exposed to his passion.

What I am learning from the two of them is that they have each other’s backs. They talk about everything to each other. As a parent I love that we chose to have two children. I also love that we are raising them in such a way that they don’t feel they have to compete with each other to get our attention because we give them our attention as much as they ask for it. We also respect their boundaries without crossing the line as much as we can. We back off when they ask us too within reason. And what I am learning is as they get older those reasons and boundaries are becoming more and more blurred and stretched.

So I am learning to trust my gut, to put myself in their shoes, to think back to how I felt when I was their age, to allow myself to be able to know when I need to walk away, step back. It happened to me twice this summer. Once when I dropped off my 15 year old son at his camp and he wanted me to leave right away so he could meet his roommate on his own. And the second time when I dropped my 11 year old off at her camp and she had established relationships with one of her roommates and her floor counsellor within minutes making her comfortable enough to want to establish herself without me doing it for her.  So she asked me to leave. Much sooner than I ever thought she would and though I wanted to stay. Wanted to stay for as long as I could to make sure she was okay, my instincts told me it was time to go. To let her find her way as I did with my son.

I wanted so desperately in both instances to go back and sneak behind the scenes to see what their day was going to be like. To make sure they understood where they had to be and what they had to do. But what I am learning is all I am is the facilitator in my children’s lives. To open the door for them to go through to experience their lives full on without intervention from me. And once the door has been opened, I have to be brave enough, trusting enough and have faith enough to know they’re where they are meant to be. Gaining the experiences they are meant to gain – whether good or bad, traumatizing or inspiring. It is their path to walk; not mine.

So I am learning to let go and to let be – a lesson for my own life – through the lessons from how best to let my children be who they asked to come here to be and not who I want them to be or who society thinks they should be. They and they alone are the architects, engineers and designers of their own lives. Not me or anyone else. A humbling and powerful lesson. Namaste

Proud to be Bermudian

I had the pleasure and fortune of flying back to our beautiful home, Bermuda, yesterday. A day where the colors of the ocean were to die for. An artist's dream. A romantic's love. A writer's muse. Capturing my attention and pulling me in. Mesmerizing me. I could almost picture mythical sirens calling home sailors and those who dare to travel the ocean to bring them to the depths of their dark world. I envisioned schools of dolphins jumping out of the ocean. Scouring the vast ocean to see if they were there. Dreamed of the hidden world that lives beneath the ocean – mysterious and untouched by us for the most part.

I was taken aback by how the water was so dark and seemingly bottomless except for the water that surrounds us- surrounds Bermuda allowing us glimpses of the ocean floor. The blue like a jewel whose color is hard to explain. Indescribable almost because it hints of many blues – a kaleidoscope of blue hues. Blues unlike any blue anywhere else. All that came to mind was how magical our little island home is. How alluring our ocean can be.

How fortunate we are to call this place our home. And how it costs us nothing to be surrounded by so much beauty that I wonder how we can be in such turmoil and strife. How if we took the time out to look at where we live. Look at the ocean – the blues like nowhere else. The clarity of the water that surrounds us, we would see there is no sense in our bickering. Instead we would work together to restore faith in our well being. To remove the hatred and strife and instead we would remember to love and understand each other again because we appreciate the gift to reside on this glorious island unlike anywhere else.

As I was daydreaming and thinking about how grateful I am to live in Bermuda, I heard a tourist behind me say, “Wow look at that water. It is so clear. So beautiful. So blue.” I could almost feel the magic running through him as it was through me. I could feel the stress seeping out of his pores just by the wistful tone of his voice as it was pouring out of mine. I felt so proud to be Bermudian. So proud to call this magical place my home.
This place I sometimes take for granted. Its beauty often overlooked when I get caught up in my every day life that the sea and the beauty blends in with the everyday such that they almost disappear.

It is moments like yesterday that take my breath away. To remind me to be grateful for the everyday because it is the everyday that allows me to understand the good things in life truly are freely available to us all when we take the time to appreciate them. When we take the time to really see where we are and to envelop ourselves in the beauty that surrounds us everyday. To be fully present as I was in the azure seas of my Island home.  Proud to be Bermudian…

And another child walks away

So after all that angst yesterday morning as soon as we arrived at the entrance of my daughter's camp, my angst was replaced with relief and anticipation. There were people in costumes greeting everyone as we drove up. Soon to discover they were the counsellors who seemingly were from everywhere. They all also seemed genuinely pleased to be there as well. Making the transition that much easier for me and my daughter.

The setting was spectacular. The camp in the middle of the woods. Tall trees. Private and most of all it felt safe. Away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Housed in what seemed to be a performing artist's dream setting.

As our car arrived at the steps of the building, we both became really excited. The entrance to the building was decorated with red and white balloons and even more counsellors dressed in costumes. They whisked us out of the car after asking my daughter 's name while one of them escorted us into the building so we could register. As if they were fairies taking us to dreamland.

Inside was even more lively. Rustic setting with wooden floors and walls - a cabin like feeling. Warm and inviting. The atmosphere was electric. There was a teacher playing the piano while three young girls were belting out songs. Though it was chaotic, it was an ordered and joyous chaos. The woman checking my daughter in loved her name, Sedona-Sky and took great pleasure in telling her. After registering and finding out my daughter's room number, we next had to hand in her phone.
The camp does not allow contact between the children and the outside world until after the first week because they want them to become immersed before allowing in any outside distractions. And they do not allow any IPads, tablets, computers of any sort for that matter because they want the 100% attention of the children. And to make sure they have it, there is no wifi up there either. Three weeks without surfing the net for 10 to 18 year olds in this day and age in a different setting would be challenging. However looking around and feeling the buzz of the place, I didn't think it would be a problem there. Particularly since not one child seemed to have an issue handing in their phones - to be returned after one week.

After handing in her phone, we then went to the nurse to have her checked out - height, weight ,
temperature taken, questions asked about her general health and then we were free to go up to her
room. 

We walked past the lively piano player and singers and climbed the stairs to her floor. Much to my daughter's delight her floor counsellor had streaks of pink hair pulled back on one side with a red sequined bow! And she was bubbly and friendly. I could see any angst my daughter may have still carried melting before my eyes. Again her name Sedona-Sky a huge hit. Everyone loving her name,

We walked into her room to find 4 bunks and 4 chest of drawers with a bathroom for the 4 to share. Standing nervously there was one of her roommates . Immediately the two of them hitting it off. Both discovering they are 11 and the first time for them both to be there. Her roommate excited when she discovered my daughter was from Bermuda because that's where her patents had gone for their honeymoon.

We got her bed made, clothes unpacked and suitcase packed away. Just as we were about done, in came bubbly but nervous roommate number 3 who was a strong contender for the character Annie,
red short curly hair and round face. She came in like a whirlwind then disappeared like one as well
when she discovered she had not registered nor been to the nurse.

By that time my daughter and roommate number 1 had bonded so my daughter was looking at me like so when are you going to leave. I asked her if she wanted to do the tour. She went in search of her floor counsellor who told her where to go. She decided because her roommate was on her own, she wanted me to leave so she could keep her company much to my chagrin.
No tour for me. I was disappointed but relieved at the same time. Disappointed because I was not ready to leave her yet but relieved because she was comfortable enough to want me to go so she could get on with it. Taking a page out of her brother's book I guess.
I asked her if she was sure she wanted me to leave. She said yes without hesitation. I hugged her tight. Had her call her papa one last time because we would not speak to her for a week. After they spoke I took photos of them and the room then walked empty handed down the stairs full of joy and pride at my daughter's confidence and ability to make friends so easily.
Now I am on my way back home after waking several times during the night looking for my heat seeker only to remember she is off on her new adventure. Leaving me behind without a second glance. Heart full of conflicting emotions as I think about my baby on her way.

Bittersweet tug on my heartstrings

Bittersweet morning. Up early thinking about having to drop my daughter off to a camp where she will be away from us for the first time for a 3 week period. Trying to quell my nerves so I don't put my angst onto her. Doesn't help that she woke up yesterday with a scratchy throat and half shut eyes with her body burning up.

She gets like that sometimes after eating too much dairy but this time I was wondering if it is the reality of her being away from us that has caused this illness to come on so out of the blue. I mean she is only 11 so it must be just as frightening for her to be away from us as it is for me thinking about her being gone for that long.

All night long I kept waking up to hold her close so she knows she is loved. So she could feel my love pouring into her little body. Hoping that it poured into her soul and stays there for the entire 3 weeks she will be gone.

As I type I look over at her little sleeping self beside me. Content and in her dream world and I send her love and light. Hoping she knows even though we may be apart physically for 3 weeks, we are never apart mentally. Never apart spiritually.

Sure I went through the same separation anxiety with my son but this feels a little more cutting because she is only 11 whereas the first time he left us for an extended period, he was 14 and we stayed in the same country with him. I will be leaving the US tomorrow to go back home. Leaving my little girl here in the hands of those I really do not know but have to trust they know what they are doing.

So it is a bittersweet moment for me this morning as I try to be brave for my girl so she can bravely go on in pursuit of her dream. So she can courageously do what she has to do to see if musical theatre is really for her.

It really is tough being a parent when we have to let go when all we really want to do is to hold on. When we are filled with worry and apprehension about whether we have made the right decisions about where our children will go and what they will do. When we want to protect them from the cruelties of the world but know we can't. Life grows them through the good and bad just as it does us.

It is truly a life lesson when we learn that the path is already laid before us depending on what decision we choose to make. Which road we decide to take. And it begins on the day we decide we want to become parents, to the day we conceive, through to the day our children are born and continues through our lives. Lives connected in such a way that there is never a seperation even when there physically is.

And to make matters worse I am not able to connect to the Internet. Not able to carry out my daily routine of finding beautiful music to meditate with to center myself. To hear the noises going on inside. Making me that much more paranoid and worried. But realizing life is helping me to understand even when we go off into the unknown if we keep putting one foot in front of the other with faith, love and light, we will always end up where we are meant to be because we always are.

My daughter has just turned and moaned  wrapping her arm across my body - my little heat seeker, still fast asleep. Making my heart melt that much more. She seems so young, so little as I look at her sleeping face. 

How will I make it for 3 weeks without her? I do not know but I am praying I have made the decision that will be best for us both. And then just as I finished typing she moved away as if answering me that she will be okay. Her elbow still touching mine but her body no longer wrapped around me as if to let me know no matter where we go, we will always be connected.

So with a lump in my throat I accept we are where we are meant to be - my beautiful daughter and me. Allowing her to pursue her dream without me there is really hard but what needs to be I tell myself holding back the tears.

Thinking of some 41 years ago when I was 10 and went off to Boston for 6 weeks away from my family. The first time I had ever been away from my mother for that long as well as the first time I had ever been on an airplane and though sometimes it was hard, I made it through and in the end did not want to leave. I'm hoping my daughter has the same experience and more. Particularly since hers is in pursuit of her dream. 

Bittersweet moment for me as I am both excited and nervous for my girl. My baby girl growing up so fast. 

Somewhere along the way

Somewhere along the way 

We lost our way

Forgot

We are one

All one

Sprung from the same root

Common origin

Somewhere along the way 

We forgot

No man has the right to any place

Because the place existed before we came

And will exist after we are gone

The place belongs to the world

To the Universe

To the One Source

Not to us

It is only loaned to us

Given to us

For a short period of time

Loaned to us

So we can learn to share

To coexist

To recognize 

Not one of us can act alone

That we need each other

To get along

To survive

To thrive

We cannot build walls around ourselves

And lock ourselves in

Then expect for anyone

Anyone to come in

To understand us

To want to know us

They may try for a while

But once they can’t get through

They move on to a new place

A place more open

Unrestricted

No barriers

Somewhere along the way

We lost our way

Forgot that we cannot exist

Without the other

That we are one

Of the One Source

Scattered throughout the Earth

So that we become diverse

But still have the same needs

The same desire to love

To breathe

To function

To live

No matter how far we are spread

No matter what we look like on the outside

Cut us open

And on the inside

We are all the same

When we spew hatred at others

Others who may not look like us on the outside

We spew hatred at ourselves

Because we are all one

Of the One Source

Here to bring and spread love

Here to give and to receive love

Here to lift each other up

In our pursuit for happiness

Our quest to live a fulfilled life

Somewhere along the way

We lost our way

Became blinded by physical trappings

Neglecting our spiritual freedom

Binding ourselves to the fleeting

Allowing our heads to be filled with hatred

Betrayal

Confusion and Mistrust

Falsely believing

We are better than the other

Less than the other

Not equal to anyone

Inferior to him
Superior to her

Forgetting

The only people we can ever be inferior to

Less than

Unequal to

Is ourselves

Because when we take the time to reflect

When we take the time to consider

When we take the time to look
Really look at ourselves in the mirror

We remember 

We are the way

The truth and the light

We are one

We are of the One Source

Common Origin

Common belief

Common need to breathe

To love and to live

So let’s stop losing our way

Stop fighting against ourselves

Destroying ourselves

Because we are all special

Unique

Necessary

Because we are here

Sharing this place together

For a very short time

Remember?

Sometimes people come into our lives in unexpected ways

Sometimes people come into our lives
In unexpected ways
From unexpected places
They show up for reasons unknown
And a relationship develops
So deep
So genuine
So true
It remains when others depart
When those who we thought would remain
Leave without explanation
They remain without blame
Standing with us
No matter what
No matter where
No matter how
Without judgement
Without criticism
With only love
When we have these people in our lives
Who stand by us through thick and thin
Those who want the best for us
Regardless of what it means for them
That's when we know
We have found true friendship
Friendship that goes beyond the physical
We have found friendships
Friendships based on a connection
A connection not even we can explain
Friendships that endure
Friendships that do not demand
Friendships that have no expectations
Except to be there for each other
Without question
Without judgement
Without regret
Friendships that build us up
When others want to tear us down
Stay with us
Regardless of our standing in life
Failures in life
Embarrassments in life
Trials in life
When we are blessed with these people
These friends
These spiritual kindreds
Who may come and go
But always remain with us spiritually
We know we have truly been blessed
Truly been looked out for
Truly been given an angel or two
Sometimes people come into our lives
From unexpected places
During unexpected times
And when they remain
Their presence neither expected
Nor unexplained
We learn something so fundamental
They are who we asked for
Prayed for
So they came
And remained
So blessed to have these friendships in my life
So blessed to be blessed with enduring relationships
For through them I grow to be so much more
For they are mirrors of who I am
And who I aspire to be
As I am of them
Namaste

Never too late for an important date

Late. Late this morning. All that came to my mind is the March Hare from Alice in Wonderland with his huge clock running here and there saying,…”  late, late , I’m late for an important date. …” Making myself laugh how emotions can take us all over the place and back again. Far from where we are meant to be because we are so caught up in being where we think we ought to be rather than accepting where we are.

As my children are out of school; and are doing camps where the drop offs are much later than school drop offs, I have been allowing myself to sleep in a little later than normal and my body has become so adjusted to the additional sleep that my husband wakes up before me. He loves it by the way. Loves being the first one awake. So I have been relying on  him to wake me up if I go beyond my designated waking time but this morning he got caught up in doing what he was doing that he forgot all about me so I woke up late. Very late this morning.

Jumping out of bed like a crazy woman. Running here and there and everywhere. Trying to make up for time that can not be remade. Angry at first with my husband for not waking me up but then realized I had no right to be angry with him because I am the one who is responsible for what happens in my life so I quickly swallowed that anger. Only for that anger to turn into panic as I thought about all the things I had to do in a short time frame. Thoughts rushing around in my brain. Incoherent panicked thoughts. Panic often obscures us from doing what we need to do because we become so obsessed with panicking that we can’t do anything else.

I panicked about what I would write about this morning - so at first, nothing would come because I was trying too hard to think rather than letting my thoughts flow. And my method of writing is always the first sentence that comes to mind over and over again and then I allow my thoughts to flow from there. But this morning there were so many thoughts, incoherent thought in my crazed pace that I could not hear one. Then on top of it all,  I also broke my routine this morning because normally I wake, meditate then allow the first sentence that comes to mind either during my meditation or immediately after it to become my muse.

But this morning because I was so late, my husband started talking to me breaking my mojo. My son was awake looking for clothes to wear so I immediately left what I was doing to help him. Then I read emails bringing in the outside world first before I had the opportunity to be in touch with me. To listen to me unobstructed. So in the midst of it all, the chaos I allowed in before I was ready for it, I told my husband to stop talking to me as I needed to meditate. I needed to start the day over again. Needed to forget about being late. Forget about being the March Hare in Alice in Wonderland and just begin again.

So without worrying about who I was ignoring, I put on my headphones. Found some beautiful music, closed my eyes and began again. Meditating and immediately feeling all the stress and panic seeping out of my pores. Allowing my whole being to relax.  And it was in that meditation and right after that I realized my message had been coming to me all alone. In order for me to do anything, to be anything, I have to not panic. Just go with the flow. Not rush around believing I am too late because if I put my mind to it, I am never too late for what is meant for me. Maybe too late for something that was never meant to be but never for what is meant to be. That sometimes I just have to shut out all the distractions, be brave enough to tell those who do not need to be in my space to leave. And then I have to close my eyes, find beautiful music and allow myself to hear what I am meant to hear as I did this morning. And without panicking, without forcing, I have written this blog in less than 15 minutes because it was meant to be written. Without panic, without distraction, without force because I allowed myself to be in the present. In the now. In the flow.
Everything happens for a reason. Even when we think it doesn't or can’t understand why. Everything does. Have a great day everyone and remember what is meant to be will be for us and where we are meant to be is where we are. And contrary to the March Hare’s thinking, we are never too late for an important date. If it is that important, we always get there when we are meant to. Namaste.

Sometimes we are gutted

Sometimes we are gutted

Gutted by people we trust

People we allowed into our inner sanctum

People we exposed our bellies to

Thinking they were looking 

Looking out for our best

Only to discover 

They asked us to expose our belly

Simply for them to gut us

Not out of malice 

But purely as a means for getting ahead 

And then we understand rather painfully

How some people make it

While others are left 

Left standing on the sidelines 

Wounded and licking their wounds

Looking up at the arena

Staring up at the people they trusted

As they hold center stage

Watching them go from glory to glory

Seeing them being heralded as the hero 

The champion of the ring

While we are left standing and watching

Hurt more than words can ever express 

Staring at them through teary eyes

Staring at them with a wounded spirit

As we hear their name chanted over and over again

Calling them the best

The brightest and smartest

We catch their eye through the masses

And we exchange the secret between us

Without speaking a word

Our hearts and souls connected

The betrayal bonding us in ways not understood 

Each of us knowing the truth 

The hero diverts his eyes 

To find those who herald him

Knowing in his heart and soul what he has done

But chooses to ignore

To find eyes who do not know

So he can become the hero once again

To those who could not know

Cheered by them

Glorified by them

As we stand all alone

Alone with the secret 

The secret of betrayal

Wondering what to do

What to say

If we tell 

We may be accused of jealousy

Small-mindedness and pettiness 

So we hold the secret

Hold it knowing

Eventually the truth will come out

We become stronger by the minute

Knowing we can sleep at night 

Knowing there is no one we betrayed

No one we have trod on to get where we are

Knowing we look out for the greater good

Rather than just our place

Our place on center stage

Allowing us to be grateful

Grateful for the one who betrayed us 

The false hero

Because we know he has saved us 

Saved us from his fate

And left us on the sidelines 

Left us to wait

Wait for the time

The right time

Our time to rise

When we will stand

Stand on the center stage

On our own merits 

Speaking our own truths

Allowing us to feel good 

About standing on the sidelines 

Knowing our time will come

Our time will come 

Sometimes we are gutted

Gutted by those we trust

Those we exposed our bellies to

So we think

So we believe

Until we realize

They actually saved us

Saved us from a fate that was not ours 

Not ours to endure

So we are content

Content to wait 

Wait for our time 

Our time in the light 

The call of the voice within

Need I fear what I do not know

Do I create what is 

Truly 

From what I believe

Am I really that powerful

Is it really that simple
And if I am that powerful
And if life is so simple
Why do I fear so

Need I fear for my future 

Or am I just meant to live

Need I worry about what tomorrow brings

Or do I stay rooted to this moment

This point in time

This present that is mine

How do I stop my mind from wondering

And from wandering

From straying into the dark

Where I feel I can't see

Let alone breathe

How do I stop myself from getting all up in a tizzy

When things don't work out as planned

When life seems to have different plans for me

Leading me down an unknown path

A path least expected

A road less travelled

Where there are no maps

No detours

No exits

Because the journey is unknown to anyone 

But me

Where I have to draw my own maps

Find my own paths

Chart my own course

My own exits

If any exist

How do I stop myself from projecting into that place

That far away place

That removes me from my own voice

That drowns out my voice

And replaces it with noise

White noise so I can’t hear

How do I keep myself grounded in the now

When the now seems to be coming unglued

Or is it just projecting my fears 
And my fears are causing the glue to come unglued

Because I am too afraid to listen

Too afraid to stop

Too afraid to be who I know I am meant to be

Was born to be

Asked to come here to be

How do I know who I am really

When the world keeps demanding I am someone else

When people keep expecting me to be

Someone 

I am not

When does it end

Where does it end

How do I stop the white noise

So I can hear

So I can stop running

And just stand still

Where my voice becomes her voice

And we become one

Standing in the midst of our silence

As we surrender to the call

The call of the voice within

A perfect Sunday

Yesterday was one of those days that was right up there in terms of perfection. Not only was the weather beautiful but so was my spirit. So was my family. So was my role in life. Without question, I felt beautiful inside and out. Felt truly and honestly blessed, loved and grateful.

It began with me waking up early in the morning, the light of the day streaming through my closed blinds. Inviting me to wake up and be a part of a day that felt like everything was going to fall into place. Getting up and sitting on our front porch as a female red bird came and sat on the tip of one of the branches of the Poinciana tree. Her dark feathers and red beak contrasting against the redness of the remaining flowers on the Poinciana tree branches as if she was greeting me. She and I sharing a quiet female moment together. Then I heard the haunting call of an unseen dove, echoing throughout the otherwise silent morning. Listening to nature as it woke for the day amidst the silence of the waking morning. The sound of silence more powerful than any noise.

Walking around to the back porch and sitting facing the sun as it rose high in the sky. The female red bird seemingly following me and sitting high up on the wire above me. Again silent but peering down at me. Both of us females again sharing the sound of silence of the day. Me looking at the leaves of the palms swaying in the breeze as chills ran up and down my spine as I thought about how fortunate I am. Closing my eyes while raising my face to the sun allowing the ultraviolet rays to filter behind my closed eyes almost as if they were flames. Seeing the burst of oranges and reds going off in my mind’s eye through my closed lids. Feeling the warmth of life flowing through me. Thinking about how life in general has been really good to me even in the worst of times. Even when everything seemed upside down. Realizing it was upside down to help me to right side myself. In order for me to grow.

Driving up to see my dad. To check in on him first thing in the morning. As I drove along South Shore, I looked out over the ocean. The ocean that surrounds us and could destroy us at any moment if it so chose but for centuries has been our protector against those who need not come. Looking at its beauty – blues like nowhere else in the world – turquoise, sky and every blue imagined reflecting back from its rolling waves. Our summer resident birds – the longtails flitting above the ocean. Their underbellies reflecting the blue of the ocean. Feeling so blessed to call Bermuda my home. The yin and yang of life – a beautiful powerful ocean surrounding our delicate island that at any moment could swallow us as if we were nothing and keep rolling on.

Seeing my dad and being pleasantly surprised by how well he looked compared to the last time I had seen him when he had fear in his eyes and his confidence had dropped. Yet yesterday he had light back in his eyes and he was standing. Stood up to let me see he is all right. Telling me he thinks he will live to see 90. Me feeling okay with where he is. Okay with how he chooses to live his life. After all he is 86 years old and if he feels safe and content where he is then who am I to question him or want him to change. He and I having a good conversation then I left after speaking with my brother and nephew. All of us agreeing to let him be. A relief taken off all our shoulders. A burden we need not carry just yet.

Then the icing on the cake came when my husband, son, daughter and I decided to have a family lunch together. Going to 1609, the new restaurant housed at the tip of the grounds of one of our oldest hotels, the Fairmont Hamilton Princess. A great venue for anyone who wants to experience the activity and beauty of Bermuda’s harbor with boats, yachts, jet skis coming and going against the backdrop of stately homes, islands and more. The food is not the best but the ambiance and the white wine sangrias are enough to balance out the minimal food choices and the okay flavours. But best of all was the four of us being together. Chatting. Laughing. Making fun of each other. Snapping photos and just being together.

The day ending with us going to see our new family project – Slow Roller, a boat my husband bought for us to fix up over time to make it our family boat but one we can enjoy as it is right now. Docked at my mentor mother’s house allowing us to chat with them for a bit as we sat in our boat enjoying the scenery around us, the company and life.

Last night when I went to bed, I felt so satiated. So full of life. So grateful for every trial because each one has brought me to this place. To where I am today. Allowing me to understand that life is full of ups and downs. Full of lessons to be learned to help us to grow into the people we are and for me each experience has allowed me to be a better mother to my children and wife to my husband because they have made me into the woman I am today and still am becoming.

Feeling so blessed on this Monday morning that I am ready for whatever comes my way because if my past is in any way indicative of what is to come, I need not worry because eventually I will get through the trials and have more days as I did yesterday. With gratitude and grace for accepting I am who I am as I am where I am with love. Namaste.

Opportunities are fleeting

Every morning this week I stood at the bathroom window looking at these beautiful white spider lilies that had blossomed as a cluster under the red canopy of the Poinciana tree in my yard. Beautiful and delicate white flowers having a personality of their own. Looking like something out of a Dr. Seuss story with their human like qualities. Their spider like tendrils. Almost like they could walk over to me and have a conversation with me. Every morning I marveled at their magnificence and told myself I had to take a photo of them so I could write about them and show them off because they were both elegant and mysterious at the same time.

And every evening when I came home, they would catch my eye again. Forcing me to look at them and every evening I would have the same thought I had in the morning - that I would photograph them so everyone who reads my blog could see their beauty and mystery at the same time. To see their human like qualities. And then I would walk by them as I did in the morning saying I will take the photo tomorrow. Tomorrow would come and I would tell myself I was too busy that day and I would take the photo tomorrow.

But last evening when I came home, I got such a shock because my beautiful spider lilies were losing their magnificence. Their beauty was waning – almost to the point of extinction. Like they had died before my eyes before I had taken the time to capture them on camera. Before I could make them an everlasting vision for me on camera. I was devastated when I realized because I had procrastinated and taken their existence and beauty for granted, I had missed the opportunity to capture them in full bloom. I had forgotten that yesterday had become the day before's tomorrow. And today yesterday's tomorrow. That in reality, tomorrow never comes  - all we have is today – this moment – no more – no less. 

As I walked slowly up the steps of the welcoming arms to my home, past the palms, I realized with great certainty why those spider white lilies had captured my vision for the week. It was not for me to capture their image and immortalize them, it was to awaken me to the fact that opportunities are fleeting.  Opportunities come around for a finite amount of time. They wag themselves in front of our faces for as long as they can until they become tired and need to move on to those who will take advantage of their existence. They move away from us because they become frustrated with us for thinking we have all the time in the world to take advantage of them. Forgetting that we are finite beings making our opportunities that much more finite.

I stood at the top of the stairs, at the apex of the welcoming arms to my home  for the longest time digesting the lesson from those Dr. Seuss character like white spider lilies and thanked them for reminding me that opportunities come and go. They don’t stay. They don’t linger. They move on when we think we are not good enough or ready for them. They move on to those who take life by the hand and allow it to lead them where they need to go without worry. Without regret. With fear and with faith that opportunities manifest for those who recognize them for what they are.

My beautiful white spider lilies were not sent for me to photograph in their glory. No. they were sent to remind me to not procrastinate. To know I am good enough for any opportunities that comes my way. To take them without question and allow them to take me where I need to go. Sometimes they will result in triumph. Other times misfortune. But with every opportunity seized I am that much closer to finding out who I am and what I came here to be. Rather than standing on the sidelines and watching someone else snatching the opportunity I had dreamed off but was too afraid to take and become the person I always knew I was capable of becoming but was too afraid to become.

I took a deep breath then moved beyond the apex of my welcoming arms, stepping forward into my home. Grateful for  the lesson from the beauty of the spider lilies waning before my eyes knowing opportunities are meant to be seized not to be neglected or put off to the tomorrow that never comes.  Namaste.

Marriage and children are our most sacred relationships

Marriage is a rollercoaster - let no one tell us otherwise. One minute we are up. The next down. One minute we are madly in love; the next we are madly in hate. Polar opposites of each other but yet the same. If there is love, there is hate because both are derivatives of passion. When we hate someone, we are still very connected to them because there is still feeling. Passion is a delicate balance between extremes. A tipping point that can push us either way – to create or to destroy. To love or to hate. To be helpful or vengeful.

That is why it is so important to establish a foundation. A base. A place we can go back to in times of trial in our relationships because it is that touchstone that delivers us from the darkness. That allows us to find a safe harbor to make it through the pain particularly when we feel all else is in vain. Relationships are interesting dynamics and are good indicators of where we are in our development and in our growth.

We attract people into our lives to help us to become more in touch with who we are and sometimes those relationships are lasting while other times they are fleeting. The people we choose to marry are our greatest teachers because they are the ones who reflect back to us our deepest fears, our deepest desires, and our deepest vices. They reflect them back to us tenfold. What we despise in them, we despise in ourselves. What we love in them, we love in ourselves.

The children that come into our lives. The ones we think we are parenting are also parenting us. Each of us choosing the other to help us to become better people. To learn the fundamentals of life. To understand and know compassion, faith, forgiveness and love in ways only we could bring to each other. Those relationships are the most sacred relationships we will ever have in our lives outside of the relationship we have with ourselves.

Our spouses, significant others, and children are extensions of who we are. What we see in them, we see in ourselves. What pushes our buttons the most are the very lessons we are meant to learn about ourselves. When they irritate us, all that is happening is that they have touched a nerve within us. A vice we have not come to terms with in ourselves. A vice we need to deal with and if we don’t then the lesson extends outside of our sacred family unit to the next level of relationships we live in on a daily basis - friends, relatives, and coworkers. Each relationship at a different level but necessary to help us to discover and bring to the surface what we have known subliminally about ourselves all along.

At first the lessons are gentle. Asking us to seek ourselves first but when we don’t listen they are played out on the grand stage for everyone to see and hear. For us to fall flat on our faces until we come to terms with ourselves and only then will we be able to move forward with the lesson well learnt. With the ability to stand tall again and face ourselves in the mirror more grown and more learned.

Marriage and children are our most sacred relationships. They are our compasses in the wild that help us to find who we are and what we are here to do. Treat them with the honour and respect we wish to have in our own lives and we will find and know love, faith, forgiveness and compassion in ways unfathomed. Because we will know ourselves.

Those wretched days

On those days when we feel like we can’t go on, that’s when we must

On those days when we feel like stopping, that’s when we must go

On those days when all we feel is darkness, we must seek the light

On those days when we question why, we must find the why

On those days when we feel like everyone is against us, we must examine us

On those days when nothing feels right, we must find the right

And accept there is no wrong

Just where we are meant to be

On those days when we face obstacle after obstacle, we must surrender to the obstacles because they are actually gifts to save us from going down a path not meant for us

On those days when all we see is grey, we must see through that grey to the clarity beyond

On those days when people do not speak their truth to us, we must find our truth and know we always know our own truths and it matters not what they speak

On those days when we feel totally confused about where to go next, we must surrender to the moment we are in and not project

On those days when we want to stay in bed and not come out, we are being asked to surrender, surrender to the here and now

Those days come and go as our thoughts and feelings

Those days come for a reason and often the reason is to point us in the direction we need to go

To be brave

To be fearful but face our fears

When we are most afraid is when we are being asked to challenge ourselves to be who we asked to be

To push through

To keep going

To surrender

To ask for what our hearts want; not what our heads don’t

Head is ego

Heart is virtue

Welcome those days when all seems dark

When all seems hopeless

When we are shrouded in fear

Because those days come to liberate us from our own dark thoughts

Asking us to face our own self

Challenging us to be who we asked to be

We need not think we are alone when they come

Because we all face those days from time to time

When we become confused about where to go

Because we are human
Imperfect
Testing
Holding on and letting go
Until we find where we are meant to go

Sometimes we forget

Sometimes we forget

In this crazy mixed up world

Where strife is more heralded then peace

Where pain is highlighted more than love

Where destruction makes the news more than creation

That each one of us is special

Each one of us is a miracle of life

From the moment we are born

We come here with a separate fingerprint to anyone else

Marking our place in this world

Our birthright to be someone great

If we allow ourselves to be

If we listen to our essence self

If we remember we chose to come here for a reason

When we remember we are special

A miracle of life

From our first breath

The first time we open our eyes to this world

We are destined to be the champion of our lives

Victors of our thoughts

Not one of us has the same physical identity

But we all share the common origin

Of the place we forget

Where we came from

When we get here

But if we close our eyes and go back

To our thoughts

Peacefully allowing ourselves to float

Float in our thoughts

Allowing us to remember

The place of our origin

We will accept

We are special

Each one of us

Unique

Individual

Here to create something beautiful

For ourselves

For the world

To leave behind a sign

That we were here

When it is time for us to go back

To the place of our origin

The inbetween is our here and now

Our journey from the place of our origin

To this place now

Temporary

Until we go back

Enabling us to acknowledge

Just how special

We truly are

Allowing miracles to happen

For us

Because we know

We are special

Each one of us unique

A miracle of life

Living

Breathing

Seeing

Speaking

Feeling

Loving

Trying

Failing

Succeeding

On this wonderful

Wonderful journey

Called life

The life we create or destroy

With our thoughts

With our acceptance or rejection

Of the fact

We are miracles

Miracles of life

In our own right

All we need is to remember

Not forget

Who we are

And why we are here

The miracles that we are

Namaste

Our true self always come to the surface

At the end of the day, our true self always comes to the surface. There is no hiding who we are. No concealing who we truly are for too long. We may be able to portray an image and keep up our superficial selves for a while but sooner or later the façade begins to crack and our essence self seeps through. Sometimes slowly. Other times so forcefully, we are knocked for a loop because we refused to heed the signs. Refused to allow ourselves to learn.  Refused to listen to our core.

 It is exhausting to be someone we are not for us and for those who cross our paths because we and they never know which one of us will show up until the true self comes and stays. And when the true self finally gets to the surface, there is no pushing it back down because it has been suppressed for too long.  And does not trust us anymore to allow it to be. To allow us to be. Our essence self.

That is why we need to show up as we truly are in order to grow.  In order to learn the lessons we asked to come here to learn. In order to be the light we are meant to be and to shine that light on ourselves and in doing so on others.

We need to take the time to be silent. To be in silence so we can hear our inner most selves telling us what it is we desire. So we can hear the hurt voice from deep down inside asking us to deal with situations we have tried to pretend do not exist. So we can heal ourselves and then be able to be compassionate to others who may not be strong enough to hear who they are and listen to what they need to do in order to become whole.

Showing up as our authentic selves requires us to be brave. To be able to withstand the ridicule and noise that may crowd out our voices but it is worth doing so. If we never give ourselves the time to listen, we will never grow into who we came here to be. We will always be ego driven rather than essence driven. Pride over virtue.

When we refuse to listen, we will find we keep facing the same obstacles that hold us back from who we are. These obstacles will appear in different guises but when we take the time to be silent, we discover the obstacles are the same. The challenges are the same.  The lesson is the same. The message is the same. The truth is the same.

Taking the time to be in silence with ourselves allows us the capacity to forgive ourselves and others. To let go of situations that no longer work for us with love and light and not vengeance. To be compassionate and understanding rather than judgmental and critical.

Remembering always as Deepak Chopra says, “The ego is not who you really are. The ego is your self –image; it is your social image; the role you are playing.” And eventually that social mask must come off, the role we are playing comes to an end and our social image cannot withstand who we are. The ego will be bruised in order to make way for who we really are.

Because at the end of the day, there is no hiding from who we truly are because we are who we are and eventually our truth will find its way to the surface. The question then becomes, can we handle us as we are when we come out? Are we ready when our truth is revealed if we are not living as our authentic selves?

There is always light and love

It felt so good landing in Bermuda with my son on Saturday. Walking out of customs and hearing my daughter shouting, "Mommy." To see her little face all lit up because we were all back together again. The look of joy on my husband's face. The relief on the face of my son. Hugs all around once we walked through. The downpour of rain that came as we got into Immigration had come and gone leaving its steam in its wake as we walked out of the building arm in arm. The Bermuda Duffy clan back together again - Father, Mother, Son and Daughter.
It was so lovely to see the beautiful colors in Bermuda again. To even feel the steam of the rain coming up off the hot tar. We decided to drive into St. George and have a reunion lunch so we could all catch up on what had happened over the two week period our son and brother had been gone. Driving past our old home where both my son and daughter had spent their first few years on this Earth. Our old home now the home of someone else and looking completely different from the home we shared so many firsts together. Signalling that period of our lives was over and done but the memories live on.
It was so wonderful to sit around the table looking out over the St. George Harbor from the Wahoo Restaurant. A slight breeze coming in just when we needed it to cool us from the otherwise scorching sun. Talking about the life we used to live . My husband the previous owner of the Deliverance and the tours he once led. The children proud to know his name still remains on the ship. Proud we once owned a piece of history.
Our son filling in his sister and father about the camp he had just completed. The friends he made and the experience he will never forget. And then after lunch was done, we drove home. The long drive home - all things are relative to where we live - a 25 minute drive to us is a long drive but from where my son and I came, a short drive. As we drove I looked out the window at the ocean, the flowers, the trees, the Garden of Eden I live in by the sea and felt so grateful to call Bermuda my home.
As we drove into our yard, I was taken aback by where I live. The freshly cut grass showcasing our family home. The Poinciana tree, though starting to wane a bit, still full of red flowers. The avocado trees laden with baby avocados. Our resident monarch butterfly flying over to greet us. Sally, our neighborhood cat,stretching lazily out on the soil as she glimpsed out of the corner of her eye at us as we walked part then jumped up and rubbed herself against my leg as if to say welcome home.
Later that evening we all went to the City Hall to watch our daughter model for the Evolution fashion show and again felt really proud of our children. Of our family unit. Of all the things we are exposing each other to and the things they are themselves to as well. Of how our lives have changed but yet remained the same.
All in one day I experienced so many emotions about my life. About the choices I have made. About the great man I chose to marry as my life long companion and father of my children. About being a mother to the wonderful children I have. About where I live and what I do. And the most powerful feelings that came through were total gratitude and love. Looking from my husband to my son to my daughter and up at the large full moon, I thought no matter how dark it gets, at the end of the day there is always so much to be grateful for and so much to live for. There is always light and love. There is always my family. Namaste

Falling back into step without effort - mother and son

Sometimes we are so connected with people that when we see them again after a separation, time and distance melts away and it feels as if we were never separated before. That is exactly how I felt when I saw my son again yesterday after not seeing him for two weeks. And I have to admit it was a very strange feeling. The anticipation to see him again had been so high that my expectations about what we would do when we saw each other was like something out of a romantic movie. But in actuality when we saw each other, none of that occurred. It was like we had not been separated but had always been together. We fell right back into the way we always are. Mother and son, no expectations. No wild greetings. It was like we had been together all along.
Within minutes we were bickering about where we should go. My son giving me his sarcastic remarks and I can't believe you just said that looks when I was talking with his instructors. Me laughing on the inside as I could see him cringing with some of the "stupid" questions I was asking as he later told me when we walked down the street away from the ears of others. He would never call them stupid questions outright but he certainly asked me if I really didn't know what certain terms were or if I was just asking for the sake of asking. Me having to remind him there is no such thing as a stupid question. That programming language is foreign to me even though it is something he lives and breathes.
I thoroughly enjoyed hearing his stories about the people he met. The ones that impressed him and the ones that did not. The challenges he faced and got through and the ones he struggled with. And as we walked back from the hotel through the beautiful streets of Cambridge, I realized just how much my son is growing up. Just how independent he is becoming. Just how grateful I am to have a son like my son - even with all of his sarcasm, dry sense of humour and idiosyncrasies of an adolescent male, he is a very caring soul. Always trying to see the good side in everything even if he does not show it, just the way he speaks about his experiences I can hear and feel his underlying concerns coming through.
We walked for about twenty minutes together, losing our way on several occasions as we wound through the streets trying to find our way back to the centre of Harvard Square but it gave us lots of time to chat. To just be in each other's company and a lot of time for me to reflect on motherhood and the choices I have made with my children. And I couldn't help but think of how proud I am of my son. Of how he is growing into a good young man. And that I need not worry so much about him because he is making his own way - quietly but stoically. He is not one to fuss about anything. Does not like a lot of drama in his life and certainly does not need anyone to validate him. He is comfortable in each own skin.
I also realized with certainty that our children are who they are and there is no need to try to make them anything other than who they are if we want to keep them close to us. My son said he enjoyed this programming camp because he was with people who think like him. People he could relate to and he felt really comfortable learning about all the different types of programmes that were possible to create. He enjoyed stretching his mind with people that allowed him to stretch his mind.
I also learned that when I tried to send him in another direction, he honestly told me he did not want to go that way. So I am learning to back off and not force him to do what I want him to do instead letting him steer his own way and that way he can continue to be the outside of the box thinker he is rather than the inside of the box thinker I sometimes want him to be. Knowing he is much happier being who he came here to be and is.
As we walked and I looked at my son out of the corner of my eye, I could not help feeling a great love and respect for him. Filling me with so much love that he chose me to be his mother and I chose him to be my son. With each step we took back to the hotel, time and distance melted into the ether as we fell back into the rhythm of our relationship with love and gratitude - mother and son, son and mother.
Today we make our way back home - back to my husband and daughter, his father and sister - so we can become four again. Our family back together again and we are so looking forward to us being one - united again without distance. Father, Mother, Son and Daughter - our family back together in a few hours. So grateful for the unit I chose to call my family and the unit that chose me as mother and wife for we are all growing and loving every day we are together and apart. As we differ and agree. As we experience trials and tribulations.
Such a wonderful feeling to learn and accept the difference between guiding and dictating, holding on and letting go - lessons I would never have learned had I not become a mother and a wife. So wonderful to be falling back into step without effort with my son and soon with my husband and daughter. The familiarity, love and security of family is unparalleled and so worth the trials. So worth the pain sometimes because when we come out on the other side, there is nothing like the love we experience together. The history we share. The unit we are. So grateful for my husband, my son and my daughter. So grateful for us. Namaste.

Feeling like a grown woman

You know there are some days that I am filled with so much joy that tears sting at the corners of my eyes. Not because of anything grand but because I realize just how fortunate I am to be the person I am. As it occurred yesterday for me when I realized with such truth and conviction that I do live a very good life. I am a very blessed person. And because I realized just how blessed I am, more blessings came my way all day yesterday. From the moment I opened my eyes and looked out the window at the beautiful place I call home to the time I sat in bed at The Charles Hotel in Cambridge later last night, I felt almost as if I had been sprinkled with pixie dust. I felt like everything I touched turned into gold right before my eyes.
A couple of times I wanted to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. That I was fully awake. Living my dream rather than dreaming my dream. I marvelled as we drove through picturesque Cambridge at the fact that I had woken up in the morning in my own bed in Bermuda, had been to work in Bermuda but by 4.30 Boston time I was in the back seat of a taxi in a different country having a different experience than the one I started out with just hours before.
I looked out the window as we cruised by the seemingly endless Charles River where mothers were out with their children enjoying the sunshine. Fathers pushing their children on swings. Couples walking hand in hand. Friends riding bikes along the trails. Children splashing in pools and running gleefully and without worry through fountains. Lifeguards looking lazily on. Sailboats on the river. Kayakers slicing through the water. Rowers silently but purposefully gliding along the river. People in canoes all doing their thing. Almost making my heart sing. The sights and sounds of summer all around. The desolation and frigidness of the long and brutal winter the Northeast had experienced a distant memory to this picturesque summer day. Signalling no matter what we are going through, there are always better days ahead.
I thought about how much Cambridge reminded me of England with the rivers and boating and endless trails and paths.About how I felt like I was having a surreal deja vu experience because the scenery was so reminiscent of being on the Thames. How everyone was taking full advantage of the glorious sunny weather. About how beautiful weather brings us out of our doldrums if we take the time to be out doors - to explore. To observe and be at one with nature.
I sat back in the taxi allowing the feeling of gratitude to spread from my toes all the way up to my head. Closing my eyes to allow the feeling to resonate throughout my whole being. Arriving at the hotel feeling like I was on cloud nine. The time and distance between my son and me closing with every passing moment. Knowing we were getting closer to being reunited.
I ended my glorious day sitting at the Cheesecake Factory Bar on my own having a glass of sauvignon blanc and eating tuna tartare to die for toasting myself for sitting at the bar on my own without feeling self conscious and for appreciating all aspects of my life. Toasting myself for realizing the more grateful I am for my life and for being me, the more I will have to be grateful for. The more blessed, truly blessed I feel about my life and for being me, the more blessings will flow into my life. I sat at that bar, only the second time in my life I have sat at a bar all on my own feeling like a grown woman, as Beyonce likes to say. Grown and accepting of who I am for where I am with gratitude and grace. So blessed to be me. Grown, worldly and grateful. As I said yesterday, like the butterfly who discovers she is no longer in a cocoon but now has wings and can fly. So have I and so am I no longer in a cocoon. Spreading my wings and flying. What a wonderful feeling.
In just a few hours, my son and I will be reunited.  Namaste.

Accepting my wings

Something magical and liberating is happening with me this week. Something that is allowing me to let go of things that I cannot change. Something that is making me feel lighter, brighter and more patient.

Something that is allowing me to tap into the Universal flow. Accepting that I may not know it all but I can feel what is right and wrong for me. Accepting that sometimes I may not make the best decision but I make the decisions that resonate with me at the time which ultimately makes it the right decision even if things don’t go exactly as planned. I realize they are going as they are meant to go. And it is better to make a decision than not because we are worried about how others may feel rather than how we feel.

Something is happening inside me this week that is allowing me to surrender. Surrender everything to the way it is meant to be. Not fighting anything. Not resisting anything. Just going with the flow. And in doing so I am opening myself to believe in magic, fairies and gold at the end of the rainbow. Because funny enough I know I am all of those things.

Something wonderful is happening to me such that I am reframing my thoughts. Instead of complaining about things, I am either accepting them for what they are or doing something about them. Recognizing that life is very short. That it is up to me to do what feels right for me and not necessarily what feels right for everyone else. Accepting that if I am not happy, nothing or no one around me will be either. That selfishness need not be confused with selflessness.

As I write I realize it is because I was driving down the street the other day thinking about life. My life, Marveling at the fact that I am 51 already - the reverse of my son’s 15, five times the 11 years of my daughter and realized that it is very unlikely that I have 51 years left on this Earth and I felt a tug at my heartstrings. A tug that reminded me this is my life and until I accept it is, I will always be the living the life of everyone else. Liberating me from the shackles of my own mind. My self imposed bars.

And this morning I know that realization is an acceptance on my behalf that I am who I am where I am right here, right now. That today I may feel entirely different than I did the day before and I may the day after but for now I am as I am where I am. I have to accept me and the situations I find myself in as what I asked to come here to deal with. That knowing I have less years ahead of me than I do behind me is waking me to live my life as I feel it is meant to be lived.

And that is what is happening to me right now. I am accepting my mortal, flawed and beautiful self for all I am at this present moment and I intend to enjoy every single moment while I am here. With gratitude and grace like the butterfly that has discovered her wings and that she could fly all along, so am I. So am I. Namaste

The beauty of the month of June

My Island home is at its best this month. This picturesque and wonderful month of June. Everything that can be in bloom is in bloom. With the most spectacular for me being the Poinciana tree. Having the pleasure of waking up every morning, looking out my bathroom window and being greeted by the redness and fullness of the Poinciana tree is such an awe inspiring moment. The Poinciana tree that has basically taken over the front yard.

Poinciana trees are some of my favourite trees. Not only do they have a vividness to the green with their abundant red flowers but they become like a canopy to protect us from the coming of the full summer sun. They become so full that they almost touch the ground providing ample shade for not one family but a few.

I love how they seem to go from bare to full overnight.  Like magic they are suddenly at their best. Allowing me to be completely surprised by their majesty and beauty from one day to the next. I love the month of June in Bermuda because I can see before me the abundance that exists for us all. Everything that can be in bloom is in bloom. New life sprouts from everywhere.

Butterflies come out of their cocoons. Mr. Kingpin’s, our resident toad, offspring come out from their hiding places hopping all across the yard. Delighting us with their antics as they scurry from us as we do from them. Baby birds fly across us at lightning speed as they spread their wings to independence. Flowers bloom. Grass grows faster than it can be cut. 

June is such a month of new beginnings that it fills me up as I see before me anything is possible if I set my mind to it. Particularly when I sit on my porch and take in the redness of my Poinciana tree.  Marveling at the fact that only two years ago, we had cut it right back, lobbing off its breaking branches to allow it time to breathe. To now where it is even fuller than it was before.

Letting me know sometimes we have to allow ourselves to breathe, to be cut back in order to give ourselves time to flourish. And that is the beauty of taking the time to observe nature because it has so many messages for us. So many examples of the cycle of life. So many illustrations of how though we may believe something is new, it is just a repeat of what has always been. Allowing me to accept if we are patient enough and appreciative enough, whatever ending we have experienced is setting us up for a new beginning. Giving us space to replenish ourselves to be even better than before.

So grateful for the beauty of my Poinciana tree which comes to full life during the month of June and then begins to bow out for others to have their turn. A lesson for me. Every one of us has a turn to shine then fade away until the next time when we are patient enough and grateful enough as I am today. Namaste.

Teach the magic is inside of us

Teach her the magic is inside of her

Not outside of her

Not out there

How much time do we waste

Looking for the magic

When the magic is within us

We are the magicians

The dream makers

The fairies

The creators

No one outside of us can do it for us

But us

Only us

Teach her the magic is inside of her

Not outside of her

Not out there

And see what she will create

Can create

Knows to create

Not everyone is here to work for someone else

Some are here to create their own way

Our own way

And the only way we can is to know

The magic is inside of us

Not outside of us

Not out there

There is no one outside of us

That can live our lives

Know our lives as intimately

As we do

No one outside of us that can read our every thought

Know our every fear

There is no one outside of us that can take us through the darkness

But us

Only us

Teach him the magic is inside of him

Not outside of him

Not out there

And see what man he goes on to become

Not waiting for someone to open a door

Opening the door for himself

Paving the way for his tomorrow

Knowing it is his present

Teach her the magic is inside of her

Not outside of her

Not out there

And see what woman she goes on to become

Breaking down invisible barriers

Because she does not allow them to keep her boxed in

She believes she is the magic

He believes he is the magic

We believe we are the magic

And see what we all create together

One by one

Because we know the magic is inside of us

Not outside of us

Not out there

And we hold the key to the life we want to lead

No one else but us

Teach our children the magic is inside of them

Not outside of them

Not out there

Then allow them to create the magic

Be the magic

They chose to come here

To create

To become

And like magic

They will create magic

Because they know they are

The magic

As are we all

The magic

Thank you Denise for posting that beautiful message that resonated so deeply with me I penned these thoughts. Believe in the magic – the magic we all carry inside of us, not outside of us. Not out there.  Namaste

All of us have a place in this world

All of us have a place in this world

All of us come from the One Source

There is no need to distinguish from the other

No need to separate us

Because she comes from one part of the world

And he from this part of the world

Regardless of where our ancestors may have come from

We are still one

And when we meet again

In a new part of the World

We are meeting again 

As if we were from the same part of the world

When cultures start to change

When people from different parts of the world begin to mix

In ways not thought of before

Or even possible before

It is because the time has come

For us to remember

We are one

To remember

We were all one in the beginning

Until we started to separate and put up barriers

So we would forget we came from one

So we could hide that we were once one

Ashamed of where we first came from

Brainwashed to believe it was beneath us

As we took on new skin

New identities

New ideals and thoughts

But life has a way

Of bringing what was hidden to the forefront

To ask us to confront our own insecurities

To set aside our fear of our commonalities

That exist beneath our physical differences

That we created

To mask who we truly are

To bring to the fore our anger of being rejected long ago

That has been handed down by our ancestors

And told to us by lore

The world we live in is a changing place

Boundaries that once were are no more

The Internet, Facebook, Linked In and others are breaking them down

Faster than sometimes we are ready

For the boundaries to come down

And as a result we lash out

And try to destroy

The truth from coming to the light

But there is no stopping

No stopping that which is meant to be

The day when we become one again

As we were when we first came

Because all of us have a place

A place in this world

This world that is becoming one again

One nation at a time

One culture at a time

One heart at a time

Because we realise

There is no one nation

There is no one culture

There is only us

All the same

Hidden under fear

Obscured by blame

Until the truth is much more than the lie

When we all remember

We all came here as one

We all come from the One

The One Source

That is you

That is me

That is us

Giving us all

A place

A place in this world