Sometimes I don't know

Sometimes I don’t know

Where to begin

How to begin

Sometimes I think too much

About what comes next

Rather than doing right now

Sometimes I am looking out

Over the horizon

And beyond

Rather than where I stand right now

Sometimes the distance seems too far to go

The destination impossible to get to

The sweat beading on my brow

My heart beating a thousand beats a second

My palms wet from fear

Sometimes I can’t breathe

Because taking another breath

Means I have to admit I am stuck

Have to admit that life is moving on

And I am not

Sometimes I am so overwhelmed

With who I am not

That I forget who I am

Until I stop

Just stop

And think about all that I am

Was

And from whence I have come

And then an overwhelming sense

Of gratitude

Followed by peace

Followed by forgiveness of self

Followed by a knowingness

That I am where I am meant to be

Builds inside of me

Spilling out over the uncertainty

The vulnerability

The fear

And lets me know

I am human

Imperfect

Growing

Expressing

Exploring

Every single second

Of every single day

And all I have to do

Is to surrender

To the feelings

I feel

Allow them

To run through me

To take over me

Allowing me

To feel them

To embrace them

And honour them

And then when enough is enough

Surrender them back

To where they came from

Because I know they came

To make me pause

To make me stop

To make me surrender

To all that is within me

Waiting for me

Seeking me

Cajoling me

To be the woman

The mother

The wife

The writer

The bringer of the light

I asked to come here to me

And in that moment

I understand

Sometimes

I can’t see her

Feel her

Embrace her

Because I am too busy

Trying to be everything

But who she is

By being what everyone else

Thinks I should be

Rather than who I am

But the pause

The detour of my path

Is asking me to see

And understand

The strength of who I am

And then

I am filled with

Such love

Such peace

Such gratitude

For taking

A breath

A step

A chance

Each and every second

Of

Each and every day

Because I know I am

Who I came here to be

Every single second

Of

Each and every day

Namastet knwo