In celebration of the day I entered this world

Birthdays are funny things. The way we react to them is so very different. So very unique to who we are and where we are in our lives. Some people dismiss them. Afraid of the years that have crept by. Stunned by the age they have arrived at. The disappointments along the way. The life they have not led in the way they thought they would. I know because I have been that person some years.

Then there are others who rejoice in their birthdays. Claiming them from the mountaintop. Embracing them for each day they have walked on this Earth. Happy to see another year. I know because this is me this year. And seemingly more so after hitting the big 50 last year.

Birthdays have taken on a whole new meaning to me. They are special because I am special and it has taken me 50 years to fully embrace the fact that I am special and to speak it without shame. Without feeling like I am bragging. Without feeling like others will think I think I am better than anyone else. No, what 50 has given me is the liberation to be me. To embrace everything about me – warts and all. To not shrink from the rose that I am. To accept it is okay to love myself and be proud of doing so. To know it is not conceited or selfish to love who I am. To carve out time for me.

And reaching another year, another day, however one may look at it, is very special and I feel very blessed to celebrate another day of my life. Whether I am where I think I ought to be, today I am accepting of the fact that I am where I am meant to be. And my heart is filled with so much joy. I can’t believe I am 51 already. It seems so bizarre to me. To be over 50. Those women that I thought were so old when I was in my 20s, I am now one of them. And you know what I don’t feel old at all. In my mind’s eye I am still the carefree girl sometimes, the one pre 1976 when I had no worries because life seemed complete with my mother always there. Then other times I revert back to the worry filled girl post 1976 when my mother died and I was left all alone to find my way.

When the light was snuffed out of the world and it became grey. When I realised life is very short and can change in an instant. And though I knew this, it was not until recently that I really knew it and accepted it. So today is my birthday and I am grateful for every event, person, place and thing that has come and gone in my life because you have contributed to the rich tapestry that has become my life and is my life.

And for those who remain and are to come, I honour you as well for you are helping me to be who I am – fully and truly. Today is my birthday, my special day, the day I entered this world some 51 years ago, a plump big baby girl and I am so happy I chose to come here. To experience this life as me. To grow as a woman, a mother and a wife. To see the sunrise, the sun set, a rainbow, a bluebird, a rose opening, a full moon, the ocean, mountains. To experience the senses of smell, touch, hearing, sight and taste in ways unimagined and indescribable sometimes but with great wonder and delight.

For my life, my birthday, my special day reminding me of just how special I am , I am truly grateful. Here's to accepting there is no looking back, only to love where I am and where I am going. Happy Birthday to me with gratitude, reverence and grace. Namaste