Back to reality with a bang. Vacation done and up again
early to fit in all the things I need to fit in before the work day begins.
Before my reality sets in.
Feeling rushed. Like there are not enough hours in the day
to do the things I need to do. But wait, what is it that I really need to do or
is it what I choose to do? There are always the same amount of hours in the day
and I know that so why am I piling stuff on to make myself so busy that I am
exhausted.
That is the question I need to ask myself and the reality I
need to face. There is no sense in dismissing the six days of vacation because
I am thrusting myself head first back into reality rather than slowly easing myself
into it. It was because of choices I made. Decisions I took that I find myself
scrambling now to make the commitments that I chose to make. It is my
undertakings that have landed me exactly where I am.
I could have made other decisions that would have allowed me
to still be relaxing for another day. Giving me the opportunity to be just for
a bit longer. But for some reason I felt I had to be available to everyone but
me so I am rushing. Headfirst back into work demands. Taking me away from my
family quicker than I needed to be taken.
So what I am going to do today is accept where I have put myself
but limit all the yeses to as many as I feel capable of responding to. I will
not allow myself to be helter skelter all over the place today. I will only do what I really have to do
then take some time to focus myself so I don’t feel like my vacation is a distant
memory but a treasured part of my memories. I will not allow myself to get so
caught up in being available to everyone else but me under the false belief that by doing so for some perverse
reason it will make me feel important and needed.
When in reality it does not make me feel important. And neither am I needed. All it
does is make me feel exhausted. So today
I am available for as long as I chose to be available and then after that I
will detach myself from those things that can wait a little while longer. Approaching the journey ahead of me with deliberation not acceleration.
So that I can ease myself back into reality and not dismiss my
six days of treasured time with my family as if it was a dream. Slowing myself down and feeling grateful for
catching myself before thrusting myself out there before I am totally ready.
Because life truly is a beautiful ride when I allow myself
to stop, smell the roses and go placidly amid the noise and haste. As I shall today without guilt or reservation. Namaste
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