There is a distinct difference between someone’s character
and her behaviour. When we know and understand the difference someone’s
behaviour and her character, then we can determine who remains in our lives and
who does not. Who remains close to us and who we keep at a distance. Not with
malice but with the understanding that a person can change his behaviour but
not his character.
Character is that which is innate in a person. That which
makes up who we are. It is our nature. Behaviour, on the other hand, is a
response to our environment and can be changed when our environment changes or
when we mature, grow and learn lessons.
It is the story of the scorpion and the frog. The scorpion
and frog were on the side of the stream and the scorpion wanted to get to the
other side so he asked the frog for a ride. To which the frog responded, “How
do I know you will not sting me?”
The scorpion answered with conviction, “You can trust me all
I want is a ride to the other side. If I sting you, we both will die.”
The frog in his kindness agreed to take the scorpion to the
other side. As they were halfway across the stream, the scorpion could not
resist his nature so he stung the frog. The frog looked with shock at the scorpion
as he felt the paralysis begin to take over his body causing him to start to
slowly sink and asked the frog, “But why?” Knowing full well both were about to
die.
The scorpion in his true and natural way said, “But I am a scorpion
and that is what I do. It is who I am. My nature.”
Both sank to the bottom
of the stream and died with the moral of the story being always know who you
are dealing with no matter how sweet they may seem on the surface. Dig deep and
observe the true nature of people because then you will see who they truly are.
And more importantly trust your instincts on meeting people because we always
know when we are in the company of those who are genuine and those who are not.
But even when we misjudge first appearances, eventually the
true nature of people always manifests in one form or another. Leaving it up to
us then to follow the advice of Dr. Maya Angelou who says, “When someone show
you who they are the first time, believe them.”
If we go back to the story of the scorpion and the frog, we
will see in an exaggerated form that the frog knew the nature of the scorpion
but chose to overlook the scorpion’s nature thinking that there would be no way
the scorpion would resort to stinging him if he was giving him a ride across
the river because they would both die. So he pushed aside his apprehensions and
decided to lend a hand. Only to discover that it was impossible for the scorpion
to resist his nature even if it meant his own death because he was so intent on
stinging the very creature that could get him to the other side. Causing the
frog to lose his life when he knew the nature of the beast before they began.
Teaching me - behaviour can always be changed but one’s character
or nature cannot. Always know the difference. Only then will we be able to save
ourselves from a lot of unnecessary hurt and pain because our characters are
much stronger than our behaviours. We cannot resist who we are even when we try
to disguise it. We cannot be who we are not. We are who we are. And that’s a
fact.
Remembering always not to be the frog in the story of the scorpion and the frog because we always know.
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