Thursday, 11 July 2013

Facing my fear of the dentist

Yesterday I faced one of my greatest fears and got through it better than I thought I would. I had a filling done by the dentist. I have always hated the dentist because of a horrible experience I had  as a young girl going to the clinic and having my mouth totally brutalized by the dentists of days gone by.
However I am now at a new dentist with very modern offices, equipment and ultra friendly staff. Hip staff as my children like to think. So I decided now is the time to start getting my teeth corrected. All day yesterday I was worried about getting fillings done but decided if I could birth a child and get through that pain, I could get through anything. Everything else pales in comparison was my mantra.
Despite this positive thinking, by the time I sat in the dentist chair, I had worked myself up into such a frenzy, my whole body was damp from sweat. Not from perspiration as we women like to say but cold, hard  sweat from fear. I instructed the dentist to spare me the details of what they were going to do to me. I really did not need to know. I told him I was just going to close my eyes and they could tell me when it was all done. And that’s what I did. I closed my eyes. With the perk of having a vibrating chair I allowed myself to totally surrender to the moment.
Willing myself to go to a place deep within where I felt safe and where nothing that was happening to me could hurt me. And soon I was there. Off in that place. Listening to the drilling noises, feeling the tugging and yanking. As if they were happening to another person. Not me. My spiritual body leaving my physical body allowing me to completely detach from what my physical body was experiencing.
And during this process what I realised is that we are very resilient beings. Very powerful beings when we want to be as we are capable of detaching ourselves from any situation when we are ready. We are capable of shifting into meditative states allowing our minds to rise above any situation when we totally surrender. When we allow our inner being to take over. Mind over matter is a very powerful thing.
And when we do what we learn, as I did yesterday, is the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. When we allow ourselves to surrender to whatever situation we find ourselves in, facing it and moving beyond it, we will find we have come out on the other side with nothing so bad we were incapable of handling.
Allowing me to fully accept and get the wonderful quote written by Frank Herbert in one of my favourite books, Dune, "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
--- Frank Herbert, Dune - Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear

And for my experience of facing my fear and moving beyond it at the dentist yesterday, I am truly grateful.

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