In ode to Angelina Jolie

Yesterday Angelina Jolie posted an article in the New York Times declaring that she had had a double mastectomy because she had been tested for the cancer gene and discovered she had an 87% chance of developing breast cancer. So she decided she wanted to lessen her chance of developing breast cancer by removing both her breasts. The reason she chose to do so was so she could minimize the possibility that she would die prematurely and leave behind her young family.

Her decision was also driven by the fact that she had lost her mother, who was only 56 at the time of her death, to ovarian cancer and she wanted to spare her children from that pain if she could.

From one Motherless daughter to another, I totally got what she is trying to do. The death of a mother before we were expecting them to go is one of the most crushing experiences any child could ever face. And those of us who are Motherless daughters would do anything to minimize the possibility our children could suffer the same fate. There is nothing like the love of a mother. Nothing like the security of a mother. Nothing like the support of a mother. And to lose that as a child leaves scars that never go away. I know for I am one of those children.

My mother died from a cerebral brain hemorrhage as a result of a stroke in 1976. In 1976 there was not much information in the public domain about strokes and how they could be prevented. No one really talked about illnesses at all back then.

Had my mother lived in our present times, chances are that her risk of having such a severe stroke would be minimized because there are ways that she could have been tested for the possibility of having  a stroke. And I believe because of the person she was, she would have done what she could so she could be with us today. How I wish she was in our modern day and she was still here with me. How I wish I knew she did everything she could to still be in my life today.

So to read Angelina’s story and to hear that she made the ultimate sacrifice to hopefully prolong her life to be with her children, I felt a deep sense of understanding and love for her and for her family. Knowing if I faced the same choice as she did, I would do the same thing. Anything to spare my children from losing me prematurely to a disease I could fight if I knew I was susceptible to it.

Doing what she did does not prevent her from being struck down by an accident or some other illness she may not know about if it is in the Divine Plan for her children to be motherless. However what she did for her children by having her double mastectomy was to let them know how deep and profound her love for them is. So no matter what happens to her from here on out, they will know their mother did whatever she could to be their mother for as long as she is meant to be. She declared her love for them by trying to minimize her chances of dying prematurely by removing both her breasts.

And then she went a step further. After all was said and done, she decided to come forward and tell her story so that women around the world who are contemplating the same fate, who had had double mastectomies, who are battling breast cancer could know that cancer is a nondiscriminating disease. No matter how much wealth and notoriety one may have, cancer can still strike. By telling her story, Angelina Jolie became just like every other woman in the world with the cancer gene. She was no longer an untouchable. She became human and vulnerable just like the rest of us.

She raised the awareness of the disease to allow people to know they are not alone in their struggle. She also brought to light the fact that there is a blood test that many who may be predisposed to the cancer gene could have to see what their chances are of developing cancer. Allowing them the opportunity to make the decision about whether to have the test done firstly. And then secondly to decide whether they want to live their lives with the disease or to try to minimize their chances of developing full blown cancer by taking preventative measures.

I have always admired Angelina Jolie and now I do even more so because she is a woman who uses her influence to change the way we perceive ourselves and the world. And more than that she is an awesome mother who will do all she can to be with her children for as long as she can. May she live for as long as she can to be with her family for as long as she can. 

In gratitude to Angelina for sharing her story and for possibly saving someone's life and for possibility sparing other children from becoming Motherless children too soon.