Friday 15 February 2013

Searching, seeking


Searching
Seeking
Until I cannot find
Knowing
I am not meant to find
Letting go
Surrendering
Giving in
To what
I do not know
What
I am not meant to know
Forgetting about what is lost
Accepting
It’s not meant to be found
Releasing
Letting go
Surrendering
Until it’s meant to be found
Until
I am meant to be found
And then
When I let go
Surrender
There it is
Hidden in Plain sight
Waiting
For me
To see
Again

These were the thoughts that came to me the other day when I had searched my home high and low for weeks trying to find two strands of pearls I had lost. One strand sentimental because my Goddaughter took them of her neck and gave them to me – a costume necklace given to her by her grandmother. Making it that much more special.
The second strand just a set I loved. Fashioned to look like they were from the CoCo Chanel collection. Again a costume strand but I loved them nonetheless.
I had searched believing someone had taken them. My daughter had broken them. Puzzled when they did not appear until I released them from my brain. Let them go. Giving them up to the Universe as a mystery I could not solve. Was not meant to solve.
And then just like that, when I was looking for something else, there they were together in a drawer they should not have been. Until I remembered the frenzied morning when I changed outfit after outfit trying to find what felt right for me that day. Trying to decide which me was going to walk out the door. Which accessory was going to complete my look. Complement my image.
And then because I was late and rushing to get out the door, I released the thought of those pearls from my mind. Closing the drawer on them, forgetting they were there. Leaving them to be buried under clothes for weeks. Until it it was time for us to be reconnected again.
Their find becoming a vision of hope for me in a week when I am searching, seeking, trying to find my way in life. A vision of faith. Of understanding that sometimes we have to trust. To let go. To have faith that when the time is right. When we do not force. When we do what our inner voice tells us. All that was lost will be found. All that was misunderstood will become clear. And all the answers we are seeking are in front of us always. Hidden in plain sight until we are ready to receive them. Find them. Namaste.

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