Every year Bermuda does the Agricultural Exhibition which
stems from our farm background where people show their farm type animals,
flowers, gardens, etc. There are horse riding competitions, food stalls, face painting. It's like a state fair and it’s held over 3 days. A real family event.
My daughter has been horse riding in the show for the last
three years – since she started riding actually. This year she entered two new
categories, Showmanship and Walk Trot. She is a very good rider but only rides once a
week. However she is a natural we have been told and has competed with the best
of them and placed.
Today was different. She rode her horse from her riding
school to the Exhibition. Riding on the main road for the first time. When she
entered the arena, I was so proud of her. She looked so comfortable. So poised on her
horse. So elegant. I saw glimpses of her as a young lady. Making my heart skip
a beat.
She entered her first competition, Showmanship, where
basically she had to hold the horse’s reins and walk and trot the horse in
front of judges. Despite looking good, she did not place. Her philosophy was sometimes I will place and other times I won’t.
Next came her second competition where she had to walk and trot
according to the instructions given. This time her horse just would not
cooperate with her. No matter what she did, he just wanted to eat the grass. I
was watching from the distance and I could see the poise and confidence slowly
but surely slipping away from my daughter, Her shoulders slumped. I could read her
expression and could see she was panicking. Letting the situation
control her. Rather than the other way around. I could see she was fighting back
tears because she had lost control therefore she could no longer control her
horse. I could see she was trying her best to hold it all together but couldn’t.
My heart was breaking as I watched my little girl crumble. I
wanted to run out on the field and rescue her. Take her away from the heartbreak
she was experiencing. The judges saw she was losing it so they allowed her to
leave the circle early. I rushed down the hill to get to my little girl and as
soon as she saw me she just let it all out.
I pulled her down off her horse and hugged her to me and
just let her cry. Let her get her frustration, disappointment, and whatever
else she was experiencing out. Her little
body was shaking in my arms as she cried and cried. I wanted to erase what had
happened to her. Wanted to rewind the hands of time. But I couldn’t. She couldn’t.
There was nothing we could do except move on.
Eventually she calmed down and told me that she was not
upset because she did not place. She was upset because she lost control when
her horse lost control. It was then that I explained to her that she had
received an invaluable life lesson. And the lesson was that in order to have
control we have to let go of ego and expectation. Her horse was making her a
stronger rider by forcing her to face situations she would not normally.
She pulled herself together. Took off her horse riding clothes
and changed into her street clothes Pulled her hair out of her pigtails and bows
and went about enjoying the day with her cousins. Letting go of what had
happened to her. Realising it was done. And she had to move on.
Watching my little girl today bounce back from great
disappointment made me realise just how resilient we all are when we let go of pride.
Watching her also made me realise she will be okay in life because she has already
faced disappointment and knows that moment will pass quick enough. And more importantly
I realised my daughter will experience heart ache sometimes because she needs
to. I won’t be able to rescue her even when I am really close because the
lesson is hers to learn. Today showed me that. A hard lesson for both of us, my
daughter in particular, but one we needed to learn.
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