Tuesday 17 April 2012

Everything that happens in our lives is preparing us for where we are


The other night I was at a dinner surrounded by business people from around the world. A social business dinner brought together by a man with a huge heart. A man who develops relationships and values them so the people he brings together are usually people with good hearts.
This is my second year that I have had the honour of being invited to sit at this table. The beginning of the dinner starts with drinks and it tends to be awkward at first with people jockeying for position. Sussing people out. Trying to figure out who is who. Making sure trade secrets are not given away but at the same time trying to establish relationships that would not otherwise happen if not for the dinner.
But by the end of the evening, once the wine has flowed, food has been eaten and the guards come down. The postering long forgotten. The conversations become so much more interesting. People talk about what they are really thinking. What they are really feeling. And it is so interesting to watch the body language begin to shift. Relax.
As people begin to see and understand that no matter where we come from geographically, racially, or culturally, at the end of the day we each have a human story to tell. And it matters not the boundaries, the backgrounds, the professional positions, or beliefs. What matters most is our underlying desire to be heard, respected, acknowledged and embraced.
I watched last night as a woman at my table opened up about a very personal story that happened to her many years before. A story of how her eyes were opened to the wider world having come from a protected and somewhat utopian back ground. Of how instead of that experience forcing her to shut herself off from the world or limit her belief of possibility in herself, she became a student of the world. Learning much more about what makes people think, understanding how to deal with many different people from from many different cultures. Crafting herself into a relationship person because she had experienced a humilating experience in her early years. Teaching her above all else empathy is more important than power. The power of listening is more important than talking to be heard. The power of compassion is much more effective than aggression.
How everyone at the table was enraptured by her story. Mesmirised even. Because she was being so honest. So raw. So true. Changing the dynamic of the table simply by being true about who she is and where she has come from. To have a place at that table coming from a place so alien to where she sat the other night. I felt the light fill my heart with joy.
I looked round the room and particularly at the people I had been placed with by the Universe and knew I was being reminded of how important it is to forgive, have compassion, not burn bridges and most of all, how important it is to be present. We are an interdependent global community. Boundaries coming down as we are working more with people from across the world. And we all are striving for the same thing - to be loved, listened to and respected.
I am so grateful for all that comes into my life knowing it is there for a reason. Not by coincidence. Not by accident. But by fate and faith. Compassion and love.  And to remind me of the abundance I have in my life by seeing the abundance in others.

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