Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Embracing the need for colour in my life


I am craving colours at the moment. Wanting more blues, aquamarines in my life. Very strange for me because I am a woman shrouded from head to toe in black because it allows me to blend in. Appear slimmer. Disappear.
But lately I have been feeling very colourful. Needing to add a splash of colour to my black uniform. I always associated black with being chic. Not too outlandish. Safe. Not ruffling anyone’s feather. Not drawing attention to myself.
But for some reason in the last few weeks I have craved colours. Needed more colours. Bright colours. Neon colours. Vibrant colours. Is something inside me changing? Bursting to break free? Come to life?
Am I tired of blending in? Playing it safe? Am I tired of hiding behind black because it has become too predictable? Too safe?
I recently discovered that people who wear black all the time tend to be moody and want to hide. So why am I starting to change?  What is drawing m to colours?  I haven’t been able to put on vibrant colours from head to toe yet. I’m taking it slow. But the desire is there.
I look in my closet and there is a sea of black. Darkness. So the process of change will be gradual. Particularly since I am a monochromatic dresser. I like to have one colour on from top to bottom. Because the majority of my wardrobe is black, I am throwing in accent pieces that enhance the black.  Gives it a little bit of an edge. Helps to build my confidence to get to the point of being bright and colourful.
What’s reassuring is whenever I find the nerve to put on a colour and walk out of the house in it, I get so many compliments about how I look. Thinking even further back when I met my husband some 22 years ago I was wearing aquamarine and he thought I was one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen. Perhaps I’m finally starting to fall in love with me again and hence the desire to be colourful.
Whatever this need to have colour in my life is I am going to explore it because I can feel my soul singing, my heart skipping a beat, my whole being feeling enlightened. Something is definitely starting to happen to me and I’m going to try my best to go with it. Not resist it. Not try to control it. To see where it takes me.
People that wear black a lot like to be in control. Maybe finally I am not feeling the need to control everything. Maybe It’s time for me to just let go and let it be. So if you see me walking down the street looking like the rainbow I haven’t lost my marbles, I’m just exploring me that much more. Trying colours on to see what resonates the most with where my being is trying to take me. Embracing the need for colours in my life.
Bring on the colours. I’m ready.

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