Thursday 5 April 2012

The direction you hold your head in is where you will go


Yesterday my heart filled with joy as I watched my family skiing together. My son snowboarding at first cautiously because the only other time he had snowboarded was last year on a ski trip with his school in Switzerland. And he ended up breaking his arm on the second last day. I thought he was very brave just to get back on the snow board again. I watched his body as he started to snowboard, I saw how tense he was at first. Nervous. Cautious. Trying to find his snowboarding feet again.
I watched my husband who has not skied for 14 years try out his knees that were operated on 5 yearsbefore. Watched him start out cautiously. Body tense. Almost like my son.
I watched my daughter who has never skiied or snowboarded before run after them. Trying to feel their energy so that when the ski instructor came she would understand the energy necessary for her to ski as well.
I watched my husband get his ski feet back. His skiiing faster. More skillful each time he skiied. His energy renewed and excited about the fact that he could ski again. Saw him feel free again. Watched him get his wings to fly down the slopes.
I watched my children go off with the ski instructor. Nervously. Not knowing what to expect but following behind him. I took photos. Excited for them. Glorying in the opportunities they have over the ones I did not. Gratitude for being in a position to give them these opportunities I never had. Grateful they are grateful for having these opportunities.
I watched my daughter get up on the snow board, take off and fall over and over again. The moment she got any speed under her, she would collapse to the ground. To control her speed. And no matter how many times she fell.  She did not give up. She kept getting up. Again and again. Then the lesson was over.
My son more stable on the snowboard. My daughter not quite sure where she was yet with snowboarding. My son and husband went off to ski and snowboard down the mountain together for the first time as father and son. My heart swelling that I have such a diversified man who can teach our children so much. Give our children so much. Be a father for our son and daughter across many different aspects.
I watched as my husband came back down off the slopes flushed with confidence and youth. Our son at his side. Both swelling with pride at having come down the slope as father and son spanning the generations - one on skis and the other on snowboard. Indicative of how times have changed. A twinkle in my husband's eyes as he collected our daughter and took her with them to help her gain her snow feet.
I watched them go up and down the bunny slope together. My two males, husband and son, guiding our little girl protectively. Helping her up each time she fell. Giving her confidence so she could trust herself to come down the slope like them. I watched her standing longer. Upright. Her brother by her side. Coaching her. Coaxing her. And felt my heart swell more with love, pride and joy.
Knowing and understanding love and trust all in one as I watched my family gaining their snow feet together. One slide at a time. No longer looking down at their feet. Instead heads up looking in the direction they wanted to go. Watching their snowboards following the direction their heads aimed. Reminding me that if we look to where we want to be that's where we will go. Gratitude larger than I could have ever imagined as I watched them enjoying themselves. Trusting each other. Gaining more andmore confidence as a family unit.
Picture perfect. Snow falling lightly. The greyness that accompanies the snow. Making everything look like something out of a fairy tale.  A perfect backdrop for an unexpected chance for my family to ski together. As I watched like the lioness protecting his den.  Who could ask for anything better.

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