I woke up this morning with lots of thoughts going through
my mind. Regrets somewhat that I spent all day in bed Saturday with what I
thought was a 24 hour flu bug that now seems like a day to hibernate and vegetate
my thoughts. To really listen to them. To sleep. To dream. To not have the
energy to do anything else but to rest. To
allow the cold that was in me to stream out as if it was streaming out thoughts
and things that were not meant to be in me. The only bad feeling I have was
that it was my son’s 15th birthday but he seemed okay with it. Okay that he was
allowed to do whatever he wanted for his birthday.
So here it is Monday morning and I feel like lots of things
I was meant to do were left undone because of my lost Saturday until I saw my
first sign that I was put into a prone potion for a while to allow me space to be
grateful for waking up this morning in better health both mentally and physically
than I did on Friday and Saturday. That I gave myself permission to be and to
get rid of the guilt that was threatening to take over.
To think about how yesterday morning I was still not feeling
100% but what I thought was vanity that got me out of bed thinking I really
needed to have my hair but it was not I now realize. But what I realise is it was not vanity
that got me out of bed; it was something else willing me to get up. It started
first with the call of my pied piper as I like to call him, my cardinal, my red
bird, singing at the top of his lungs at about 5 am yesterday morning. His song
arousing me out of bed. Putting a smile on my face. Allowing me to hear the sound
of the waking morning. The song of promise. The song of more to come.
I got up and looked for him but did not see him. When I
walked out of the hairdresser, the morning had truly broken, and the day was
glorious. The air fresh. The skies clears. The storms and cold of the days
before had given way to a perfect day. Almost like what had happened inside of
me. The day and I were mirroring each other.
After eating breakfast with my family on our porch and they
all had gone back inside, I sat and watched nature doing its thing all around me.
Feeling so blessed to be a part of it all. Feeling so grateful to be contributing
to it just by my presence. Hearing my red bird song again. Louder than anything
else. Still hiding for me by sight but making his presence known by his song. Realising looking for him as he sang allowed
me to see blue birds flitting around my yard. In and out of the blue bird box
filling me with joy that they have come back to us. Hope that spring has sprung.
A white butterfly catching my eye. All in silence to the song of the red bird.
I watched the trees swaying in the gentle breeze. My body
still chilled and not yet well. I got up and walked to the other side of the
house. The east side of the house where the sun was at its peak and sat with my
eyes closed facing it. Allowing the heat of the sun to radiate my being, to
warm me. To take away the remnants of my ailments. And I knew it was working its
magic because behind my eyelids the colour red spread. Exploding behind my lids
like that of a nuclear explosion. An explosion of energy filling me up. I inhaled
it deeply and exhaled slowly. Thanking the Universe for enrapturing me in its
magic. Thanking myself for taking the time to be.
So this morning when I woke up and realized it was Monday
and thought I had missed a weekend, I realized I had not. Because what I had
done even more than hurrying about was take the time to reconnect with nature,
to reconnect with me. To accept that life sometimes will take us places we did
not dream but each one of those places is a stepping stone to help us to get
back to us. Clear our thoughts of everyone else’s dreams and allow us space to
hear, see and feel our dreams again. And that’s why sometimes we are forced to
stop by illness because it is the only way we will listen. The only way we will
realise we are fighting a battle that is not ours and our bodies break down to
make us stop, to redirect us to get back on our own path, to our own dreams as
happened to me over the weekend.
And that’s why today I will enjoy every minute of whatever I
am doing accepting that somehow whatever I am doing I am meant to be doing because
I am being led every step I take to where I am and where I am meant to be.
Happy Monday every one. Blessed week to us all. Every step of the way.
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