Tuesday 17 July 2012

The simple things in life that bring us joy


Yesterday was such a lovely day. After all the hiccups we finally got to see the people we came here to see. The parents of my husband and the grandparents of my children. The aunt of my husband and the great aunt of my children.
To see the pure joy on their faces with seeing their son and their grandchildren is indescribable. I love giving that experience to my husband and to my children. I love giving that experience to my inlaws. Because it is nothing like the feeling of pure joy and love. A love that asks for nothing in return except for being there. For being present.
We don't get to see them very often because of the distance and our busy lives but I try to make sure we see them as often as we can particularly since they are 83, 84 and 85 years old. Recognising they don't have too much time left biologically, it gives me great joy to bring joy into their lives. Simple joy just by being present with them. Accepting them for who they are. Respecting their wishes to be as they are.
They look forward to our arrival. Preparing for us long before it is even time for us to get here. Giving them something to look forward to. To plan for.  I love my children knowing there are people in the world who love them purely for who they are not for what they can give to them. I remember how I used to feel under the love of my mother and my grandmother. The fuss they used to make over me. I still miss that feeling of unconditional love and so I want my children to experience it for as long as their grandparents and great aunt are still here with us.
I know how tough it is for my husband to live in a completely different country to the place where his family lives so being here is as much a gift for him as it is for me as it is for our children as it is for his parents and aunt. The gift of unconditional love.
Even the sun came out for us yesterday. Showing us England in her pure glory. The greens as lush as they could be from all the rain that has sodden the fields. The sky as blue as it can be in England. The space that does not exist in Bermuda. Large fields with horses, cow, sheep, goats wizzing past us as we flew by on the train.
Hearing our taxi driver say when asked about the English weather,  "Every day just expect the rain and that way you are never disappointed and if there is sun, that's a bonus." Talking about accepting life for what it is. Not expecting more than what it can be. Not trying to change things beyond your control. Just going with the flow is so freeing. So full of bonuses. Thinking of the wise words of the taxi driver and smiling, glad to be here in England allowing my husband and children and myself the pleasure of bringing pleasure to parents, grandparents, aunts and great aunts. Accepting English weather for what it is and if we get sun accepting it as icing on the cake.
Listening to my mother-in-law say that as she gets older she's content to be where she is. Not fussed about rushing around. Enjoying her moments of drinking milky coffee and baking whenever she wants. Thinking about the simple things in life that bring us the most joy.
Happy for allowing my children to be exposed to the elderly so they know what's coming to them. So they can learn to be patient and to love unconditionally so that they too can treat others with respect and love.
Just being. No rushing. No disappointments. Walking in the rain. Prepared for it. And whenever the sun peeked through accepting it as a bonus. Just going with the flow.

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