The gift of possibility, motherhood and womanhood all wrapped in one

Today is the day my beautiful daughter arrived in my life nine years ago. Eight days early. Eyes wide open. Shooting across the table. Making her entrance into the world. Crawling up my belly feeding right away. Determined. Knowing exactly what she wanted and did it. Showing me her personality right away. And true to form that’s exactly what she is like to this day.

Nine years ago, my daughter taught me an invaluable lesson. She taught me through the way she came into this world that anything is possible.

My son had to be born via C-Section because he started to come fifteen days early then changed his mind and decided to go back so they had to perform an emergency C-Section to deliver him. Devastating me. But at the same time I was happy to have a healthy child. 

Four years later, my daughter decided to come eight days early but then wasn’t sure either. I was forty years old. My water had broken but not in the same gushing way that it had done with my son. I was on my way to playground duty at my son’s school when I felt a trickle so we dropped our son off to school then went to the hospital not sure if I was having our baby or not.

My water had broken we discovered but I had no labour pains. No labour at all. So I had to walk around the hospital all day waiting for something to happen. Nothing happened. My doctor decided that after 12 hours they didn’t want the baby to stay inside me for any longer with my water haven broken. So she gave me the choice of having another C-section, which was highly recommended by everyone because of my age and the fact I had had a C-Section with my son, or I could be induced to try to have the baby naturally.

The nurses explained the potential complications that could result if I was induced after having a C-section. Particularly with a woman my age. My husband didn’t want me to have any complications so he was trying to convince me to have the C-section. But I was determined to have my daughter naturally. I knew I was never going to have another baby and I wanted to experience what it was like to have a baby in the way we are meant to have them.

So despite protests by everyone, I decided I wanted to be induced. I put myself into a meditative state. Asked the Universe for the strength to bring my daughter. Called upon the power of all the women who had laboured and birthed before me to help me deliver a healthy baby. Asked the spirit of my mother to help me to bring my daughter into this world. Talked to my unborn daughter asking her to come to me naturally.

At 9pm on Wednesday night I walked into my birthing room, complete with a photo of my mother as my focal point. Soft music playing in the background. Candles flickering in the background and my husband by my side. My son safely at home with a good friend of ours. And closed my eyes and waited. The nurses gave me a minor dose of pitocin to induce my labour. One hour went by and nothing happened.

Ten o’clock they came back and tried to once again convince me to have a C-Section. They were worried about what could happen to me if they increased the dosage. My husband was worried. But I was determined to try so I said no I wanted the increased dosage of pitocin. So they upped it and then within an hour  a pain so intense hit me that I instantly and instinctually grasped my husband around his neck and squatted. After the pain subsided I swayed my hips from side to side. I had read that by doing that my daughter would stay in the correct  position to be birthed. And each time thereafter when the pain came I squatted. Within an hour and a half I was fully dilated and ready to push her out.

Forty five minutes later after being told to sit by my obstetrician, at 12.45 am on the Thursday, my daughter made her grand entrance into the world by shooting across the table. Letting out a mighty cry. Looking around the room. Taking everyone and everything in. The relief and pride that filled my body, mind and soul is like nothing I can ever explain. But even as I am typing I can still feel the sensation of that accomplishment flowing through me. I felt like an Amazon woman. Like there was nothing I could not accomplish in this world. Like I had been given the greatest gift as a woman. To be able to bring my daughter into this world in the way my body, the body of every woman, is designed to do was a huge triumph for me.

I yelled, “I did it!” And tears flowed down my face from sheer joy. They placed her on my stomach and she pushed her way up my belly attaching herself to my breast and started to feed. A miracle in itself. I was euphoric and so was my husband.

My daughter’s entrance  into this world reminded me of what I am capable of when I set my mind to it. When I follow my intuition. When I do what feels right for me not what everyone else wants me to do. And to her I am truly grateful.

Happy Birthday to my beautiful girl who came into this world eyes wide open, ready to take it on, giving me the best gift any woman can ask for. The gift of  possibility, motherhood and womanhood all wrapped in one.