Sometimes as couples we take each other for granted. And the
longer we have been together, the more prone we are to expect the other to know
what the other wants without asking or speaking. Sometimes we don’t see each
other because we think we see each other every day. We forget to update each
other on what’s going on because we think intuitively we know what’s going on
in each other’s lives because we are in each other’s lives every day.
So every once in a while it is very important to carve out
time for each other. To really see each other. To really be present with each
other and to be in each other’s space without the distractions of everyday life. To allow us to be free and not clouded by the
things we have to do. Fully present in each other’s lives. No children. No work
obligations. No thinking about what’s going on over there. But surrendering to
the moment. To what’s right in front of us. Us.
Yesterday was my husband’s birthday and we didn't have plans
to do anything as a couple as we are planning a family dinner with our children
tonight- nothing fancy just the four of us in each other’s company away from everyday
life. However when I thought about how much my husband and I have been like two
ships passing in the night. Existing in each other’s lives but not fully
present with each other, I called him to ask him if he wanted to go for lunch. At first he had every excuse in the book about
why he couldn't go and was even surprised at the suggestion that we could do
lunch together because it had been that long since we had taken time out to be
together as a couple for lunch.
Eventually he acquiesced and we made a date for a local restaurant
– no frills, no extravagance - just the
two of us for lunch - and it turned out to be one of those great moments that
will go down in our couple memory books. We took time out of our busy lives as
individuals to reconnect as a couple. To really see each other. To really hear
each other. To reconnect and it was one of those magical couple moments that is
hard to describe but so necessary.
What I learnt from being totally present with my husband was
that we really do have a wonderful relationship.
A relationship that is up and down and all over the place sometimes. A
relationships that challenges us both but at the same time anchors us both. That
we really connect on a level that is much deeper than any surface relationships
that sometimes we don’t give each other enough credit for.
I realized our relationship is a relationship built on many years
of love and trust and faith and that’s why we are able to weather so many storms
together. I also believe our connection existed before we inhabited these
physical bodies and probably will exist when we leave this physical plane
because we are true soul mates.
We do not have the love that you read about in story books
all the time but we have a love that endures, grows and strengthens us. Allowing
us to reach those pivotal romantic moments as we did yesterday when we gave
each other each other without question, expectation or demand. And that’s what
it takes to have an enduring love to be in each other’s presence – fully present
and open to each other.
I am so grateful we gave each other to each other yesterday
because our time together allowed me to
understand that true love is much deeper and more lasting than romantic love
because true love knows that it is the gift of time dedicated to each other
that allows us to know what love really is. No frills. Nothing fancy. Just
respecting and being present for each other allowing us to remember why we came
together in the first place. So important for couples to remember and to
reconnect as we did yesterday. And what’s even more important is I realized we
are not bad for an old married couple of 21 nearly 22 years particularly when
we realize we actually do enjoy each other’s company and love each other in
ways indescribable.
A few stolen moments worth a lifetime of joy. Exactly what every couple
needs more than anything from time to time.
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