This morning the call of a new day was beckoning me outside.
Taunting me. Trying to rouse me out of my comfortable and secure bed. Pulling
me. Telling me it was time to get up and enjoy this new beginning. This new
day. Letting me know the conditions were perfect for me to start all over
again. But I resisted the call. Telling myself instead that it was much cooler
inside. Too hot out there and I would ruin my hair. Excuses. Excuses. Telling
myself I could not go out in shorts because of the cellulite on my thighs and
if I wore long pants I would roast. More excuses. Excuses.
The pull and resistance started at 6.04 and didn’t end until
7.40 when finally my heart won over my
ego. When the call of the outside. The call of the new beginning was too
powerful for my ego. Too powerful for the darkness that wanted to keep me in the
dark. Telling me I wasn’t good enough or didn’t deserve to start the new day
with a fresh beginning. My heart filled my soul with love snuffing out the
darkness. My ego. Silencing it.
With my ego safely pushed aside, I got up and went to the
bathroom. Looked outside the window. What greeted me outside was too perfect for
me to resist. Blue skies. Clear. Celeste (as they say in Spanish). Still air.
White puffy clouds – the ones that make you believe in magic. The ones you
think you could float on and play on. My beautiful orange honeysuckle bush full
of orange and vibrant blossoms. Avocado trees full of avocadoes. Abundance all around. Inviting me
outside. I exhaled for a long time. Got dressed for a walk and accepted the
invitation of the outdoors.
I walked outside and inhaled deeply. Breathing in the crisp
fresh morning air. Listening to the sound of a bird whose call I had not heard
before and could not identify. Enjoying the newness of its call. And then I just let my feet
guide me. Not worrying about my hair getting ruined. Not worrying about the cellulite on my thighs. Not worrying about who saw me that I knew. Pulling my cap over my
eyes so I could shut all the unnecessary distractions out. Just allowing my
thoughts and feet to take me where they were meant to. As I rounded one of the
bends of my walk, the walls and foliage gave way to a panoramic view of the
harbour. Calm, peaceful and wide open. As beautiful as a picture and I felt a
lump form in my throat. Gratitude spreading through me for the abundance I have
in my life and all around me. Accepting and understanding the whole world is
out there waiting for me to be whatever I want to be. I just have to have the
nerve to round the bend to allow for the wide open spaces and not be afraid of
being exposed.
Walking with a new sense of purpose then. Feeling free and
glad that I decided to start this new day walking in nature on my own. Taking
in all that is alive and well around me. Reminding me so am I. Free to start a
new day. A new moment. A new beginning anytime I choose because each moment is
a new beginning. And then when I came home I read my quote for the day, “There
is a new spring in my step. My life is changing for the better.” And then I
exhaled because I am on the right track by getting up every single morning
with gratitude and love and going where my heart leads me.
Because there is nothing like the feel of listening to and following
our hearts. Nothing at all.
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