Tuesday 12 June 2012

The power of self


Yesterday I was interviewed by someone who is doing research for her PhD. She asked me what was my career path. To which I responded I have never set goals for myself. Instead I have always just lived day by day. Not projecting too far into the future. Not worrying about what had happened in my past.
I told her perhaps it’s because my mother died suddenly and so young that I realised at a young age that tomorrow is not promised to anyone. That the only moment we have is the moment we are living in. That often people focus too much on the destination that they forget to enjoy the journey along the way. They don’t see what’s right in front of their faces because they are looking for the ultimate prize – their goals. I have seen far too many people set the lives around timeframes. Goals. Destinations. And then when they reach those targeted dates and they have not achieved what they wanted to achieve, they become disenfranchised. Disappointed. So much so they convince themselves they are failures.
I have always tried to live my life by being the best I can be and as a result I have ended up in positions and places I never dreamed possible. Sometimes laughing at the woman I have become from that frightened girl who had no one.
And then last night I saw a quote that helped me to understand that as I near fifty, I need not panic or worry about how much time I have left. I need not worry that I should be planning for my future. I need not change the way I view life because, “The Warrior Spirit stands to gain far more than just realising his deepest goals, He knows power is hidden in personal growth.”
Since the day of my mother’s death, through my dark teenage years, through university and its trials, through career moves and to the present moment, I told the interviewer yesterday, I am constantly learning. Constantly seeing the lessons in every tumble I take. In every success I achieve. I am constantly reminded that I do not know it all. That I am human. Not a machine. Therefore I am flawed and have to acknowledge my flaws from time to time. Forgive myself for them and forgive others for expecting me to be perfect so I can learn lessons from those flaws and move on.
I understood last night that the Warrior Spirit is deep within me. Deep within us all.  Reminding me to not focus too much on the destination (goals) but instead free my mind to attain the power of self. Only then will I gain the wings to fly.

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