I absolutely love being a mother

I absolutely love being a mother. It is one of the most rewarding roles I have ever taken on in my life as well as one of the most challenging. Wanting to give my children as much rope as I can so they can fly while at the same time keeping a hold of the rope so they know they are loved no matter what. Trying to find that delicate balance of holding on while letting go. Of knowing my children are here to live their lives. Not mine.

I look into their eyes sometimes and am mesmerized by what I see, by what I feel. I look at their bodies and am surprised by how much they are growing and maturing, becoming adults very quickly. I listen to their words and am proud of their depth and breadth of life.

I was reminded of this the other night when my family went out for dinner to celebrate my husband’s birthday. Sometimes I found myself having an out of body experience – looking on my family with pride from a position outside of us.

To watch and listen to my son and daughter – their quick wit, mature sense of humor and ability to deliver one liners without changing their expressions is so interesting to watch. And then seeing them sometimes reverting back to that place of need – that place between child and adult is so fascinating. So exhilarating to know they have their whole lives still ahead of them if that is what the Divine has in store for them.

Their recollection of events and information they have picked up along the way and being able to relay their understanding and comprehension of it with such conviction and passion made my heart sing. Listening to them having their own opinions about life and what they have learned is heartwarming because I know they are becoming their own people able to stand on their own two feet. Individuals sprung from the same DNA but using it according to their own will.

I loved listening to them, not as their mother, but as an individual sometimes just so I could hear them from an outsider’s perspective and be able to not judge so I could let them go. Let them explore who they are and what they want without my influence. Guiding them but not directing them. As Khalil Gibran says we are the vessels through which they come.

I love watching my children interacting with each other. The love and respect they have for each other is a beautiful thing to witness because they have a bond that I had always hoped for when we decided to have more than one child. Allaying my fears that one child would feel more loved than the other. Watching them together lets me know they both know they are loved in their own special way. And in turn they are able to love each other so deeply and openly.

To be honest I was afraid to have another child after our son because I feared I would not be able to love another in the way I fell in love with him when he was born. But love has a funny way of splitting itself while remaining whole at the same time when it comes to motherhood and children. As it did and does for me right now.

The love I have for my children is unlike any love I have ever known. It is an instinctual love full of pride and reverence. It is a love that comes from my core and expands with each child. It is pure and absolutely unadulterated.

I never wanted to be a mother because I was afraid I would leave my children before they were ready as my mother did with me when I suddenly became a motherless daughter at the age of 13. But what I realize more than anything now that I am a mother is my mother leaving me so abruptly and unexpectedly, though heartbreaking at the time and still to some extent now, was preparing me to become the caring and compassionate mother I am today for my children.

Her death taught me to never take anything for granted. To be present for my children. To love them unconditionally and to let them know all the time how much I love them and how much they mean to me so if I have to leave them suddenly and move on to the next world, they will know they were loved and will continue to carry my love with them no matter where they go.

To teach them that a life filled with love is much greater than a life without love.  To show them to live as fully as they can and as compassionately as they can because tomorrow is promised to no one. Lessons I would never have learned had I not become a mother. That’s why I love being a mother because by becoming a mother I know so much more about love, compassion, faith, forgiveness, trust and letting go while holding on without strangling.

In gratitude to my children for choosing me as their mother and to my husband for choosing me as his partner allowing us to be the growing and loving family we are today. Namaste

The power of our collective consciousness

Last night I watched the Interdenominational memorial service for those who lost their lives in the tragedy that occurred in Sandyhook in Connecticut and I was filled with such hope. Such love. To have many different religions share the same stage essentially sharing the same story. The belief in a higher power. Faith in the One Source. Reverence of all that we may not see nor understand but know is there was powerful beyond words.

It’s a shame that we allow different beliefs, religions, cultures, races to blind us from accepting we are all one, bond by a common thread until something tragic occurs linking us back to that common source. It’s a shame that so many children, innocent children, had to die in order for us to feel that common thread weaving through our hearts all around the world. But it happened and we got to experience the sharing of grief and disbelief that one human being could cause such pain. But was it one human being or was it our collective consciousness that led to this tragic event?

As President Obama said yesterday we have a collective responsibility to do a better job in caring for and raising our children to have compassion, love and a sense of belonging in this world so they will not snap one day and kill the innocence left in our world. We have a collective responsibility to preserve our communities by raising children who are givers to society rather than takers.

No matter where we come from. No matter how much wealth we may have. No matter what our religious beliefs are. Nor the colour of our skin. When we die we die the same way. Our spirits, our souls leave our physical bodies and go back to where we originated - wherever it may be. And the physical facade of our essence selves is stripped away and becomes nothing but a shell of what we truly are.

So at the end of the day does it make sense for us to judge, to criticize, to ostracize in order to make ourselves feel more superior to someone or something that is only temporary? For when we strip away all that is physical what remains is an essence, a spirit, a soul that has no boundaries, no definitions, and no form. What we are left with is an infinite existence full of love, light and compassion. And there is no distinction between any of us because we once again become a part of the whole. The One Source, God, Yahweh, Buddha, whatever name we chose to have faith in. To believe in.

Today my island home, Bermuda, will go to the polls to vote for our next Governing party. What we all must do is vote from our hearts and souls not from a place of coercion, divisiveness nor meanspiritness. We must vote for the party we believe has the best interests of our country, our children, and our future. The party that will help to bring us together as a community to allow us to remember we are raising the next generation and we want them to be raised with compassion, love and a sense of belonging so we can stop destroying our human race and the place we call home, this beautiful planet we are inhabitating called Earth.

May we go out today with love in our hearts, light in our eyes and compassion filling our souls to be the change we want to see. In peace, love and light, I pray. Amen.