The Butler a movie well worth seeing

I went to see the movie, The Butler, with my sister and niece as it was my niece’s last night here in Bermuda before she heads back home to Delaware and boy am I glad I did. Wow. I am almost speechless after seeing that movie. I didn’t expect to be so moved by it. So affected by it. To see just how far we all have come as a civilization over the span of the movie is staggering.

The movie began with a black family picking cotton on a plantation and ended with a black family going into the White House as the first family of the United States. A black slave to a black president in a little over a hundred years is meteoric.  And we as a human race should be proud of all those who risked their lives out in the open, those who did what they had to do silently in the background, and those who died in their push to bring segregation to an end.

There are many who have walked before us who have paved the way for each of us to be in the position that we are in today. Some more passively than others but sometimes that passiveness is as strong if not stronger than the aggressor. But each having their place in our history – in the way we are today. In the way we treat each other today.

What I gleaned from this movie is how each one of us has the capability to change the perspective of others not by our words but by our actions. How we can put a human face to an otherwise nameless and faceless situation. How those who look down on the black men and women who have endured much to pave the way for others. How some of the pioneering blacks had to wear two faces as depicted in the movie such that others may have a seat at the table.

To have a son understand his father and a father understand his son. With both seeking forgiveness from the other due to ignorance on behalf of each other. How both understood at the end that they were both doing the best they could based on the experiences they had ever had.

I am still in awe of where we have come from as a human race. Even though I know we still have a long way to go to break down stereotypes that are still prevalent today but I walked out of that movie feeling great hope for our human race because we are resilient creatures. Here to learn lessons from each other. To teach each other about each other so we can break down the ignorance of each other.

I highly recommend the movie, The Butler, to anyone who wants to see what forgiveness, tolerance and acceptance can do for us as human beings. Showing how true Dr. Kind’s quote, Darkness can not drive out darkness; only light can do that”, truly is. The only way we can take darkness out of our world is to shine our light as brightly as we can and to be the change we want to see. 

Happy Anniversary to my blog!

My blog turned two years old two days ago and I was so busy commemorating Dr. Martin Luther King’s 50^th anniversary for his “I have a Dream” speech that I overlooked my own dream come true. My own baby. Forgot to even think of what August 28 means to me.

I am so chuffed that my blog began on the same day albeit some 48 years later that Dr. King delivered his speech about dreams. Chuffed because his speech was given in the same year I was born then for us to share the same date for beginning our dreams in spite of the time span makes me feel really good about what I am doing.

I started this blog because I wanted a place to write that would encourage me with my everyday trials as well as have the ability to share those trials and lessons with others to allow myself and anyone who chooses to read my blog to know we are all the same. We sometimes feel really good about where we are going in life and other times we don’t. Sometimes we feel confident about our abilities and other times we don’t. Sometimes we feel like we can climb any mountain. Other times just the thought of another mountain makes us want to give up.

When I started my blog, I was so nervous that I would be putting myself out there to be attacked. Criticised. And people would question who I think I am writing a blog. Question what was so important about what I have to say. I used to sit and wait for comments. Sit and wait for people to like what I said. Sit and wait for feedback. And at first I used to get upset when no one liked what I said. When I got no feedback because then I thought I was failing everyone else.

But what I had to tell myself over time, my blog is for my growth and if it helps anyone else along the way it is a bonus but not a necessity. Writing this blog every except Sunday is like writing in my gratitude journal every single night, both help me to grow more as an individual. As a woman. Writing my blog is more out in the open while writing my grateful journal is more private but both allow me to accept so much more about myself. Allow me to accept so much more about other people. Allow me to know when I have to let go and when I have to fight hard to hold on.

So here I am two years later and I am still writing my blog and I feel really proud that I am. It has become a daily part of my existence. My life experience has become richer because I am constantly aware of the stories of my life. I am constantly intrigued by something. Storing it in the deep recesses of my brain to write about when the time is right.

Sometimes writing my blog is tough going because I am hesitant about what I want to share. Hesitant because I know there are some who read my blog to see what is going on in my life – not necessarily with the best intentions but rather to keep tabs on me. But what I have decided is I have to just let go. Let my writing flow without thinking about what anyone else has to say as this blog is my journey of love and light. Not of malice and darkness. It is one that I hope touches as many people as it does me.

Two years of writing this blog. Wow. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday that I began this journey. Other days it feels like I have been writing it all my life. It has taught me discipline and endurance as well as having thick skin. To my loyal and open followers I thank you for encouraging me every day with your comments whether constant or occasionally. I feel your presence and your encouragement every time I sit down to write and for you, I am truly grateful.

Signing off today proud of my ability to write this blog every day except Sunday for the last two years and still going. For how long I don’t know but for now I am pleased as to where I am with my journey of love and light blog. Amazing grace. How sweet is that? 

Living our dreams

Yesterday, August 28, 2013 marked the 50^th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King’s historical, “I have a dream” speech. Fifty years have gone by. Fifty years ago I was 4months old when this speech was being delivered by a man who left his mark in our hearts, his speech on the tip of our tongues, his voice ringing in our ears. Even in his death, we still hear him. See him. Feel him. Those of us who have invited him into our hearts and spirits. Letting us know even in death, our names can be spoken, our image can be carried on when we leave an indelible mark on this world.

Though Dr. King may not have known it on the surface, he seemed to know from a deeper level he only had a short amount of time to leave his mark. To leave behind his message for the rest of us to finish the work he started. To bridge the gap between those who are ignorant and those who are tolerant. Between what is right and what is wrong. Allowing all of us regardless of where we come from to accept and understand when we peel back our skin, we are all the same. We are all of the same Source. And therefore we have nothing to fear of each other unless we fear ourselves.

Hearing his rich voice full of passion, full of promise, full of truth caused me to pause yesterday. To think about what having a dream is all about. To reflect on what dreams really mean. And this is what came to me,

“My dream is my dream. Your dream is your dream.

Because I have a dream does not mean you cannot have one as well

Dreams allow us glimpses into the portal from whence we came

Asking us to go back to why we came in the first place

Reminding us to live out our promise

Our truths”

I hear my children talking about their dreams. Talking about what they want to be. How they want to get there and I try my best to help them, guide them but not direct them because they are just starting to understand the importance of acting on their dreams. If I’m constantly telling them their dreams are not good enough or not what I expected of them, they will never know who they are or whether their dreams are truly meant for them. It is not up to me to shatter their dreams. It is up to me to help them to turn their dreams into reality whether they are contrary to what my dream of them is. Their dreams are their own as are mine.

When we become parents we understand, through the eyes of our children, just how important it is to dream and to have dreams. To allow them to flourish and grow into reality because dreams are what take us to the next step of our lives. It is up to us as parents to encourage our children to live out their dreams rather than forcing them to live within their dreams never fully reaching their potential. Allowing them to explore their dreams gives them wings. Give them independence. Confidence and a sense of self.

Thank you Dr. King for reminding me the importance of living our dreams and not just dreaming them. For the important role you played in helping me to understand life is very short so if we have dreams we need to act on them. Make our dreams our reality not just our fantasy. And when we do, so shall our children. So shall we all.

When jealousy rears its ugly head

Jealousy is one of the worst traits we carry as human beings because it limits our scope. Limits us. Cuts us off from love because it forces us to hate. To resent. To find fault rather than joy.

When jealousy rears its ugly head, we must examine what it is about ourselves that makes us feel so inadequate that we would do anything to diminish another’s accomplishments and achievements to make us believe we are more superior. But what we don’t realise is when we do whatever we can to make ourselves feel more superior, the only person we are diminishing is ourselves.

Jealousy does not improve our circumstances and neither does it do anything to shift our karma or outcome. It does not reshape where we are. As a matter of fact, it keeps us glued to exactly where we are because we are so consumed with it that we cannot see the opportunities and gifts we have all the time. Instead we become focussed on bringing down the other person that we end up bringing down ourselves. We end up on a mission of what st going on outside of us rather than focusing on what is happening inside of us.

Jealousy is an ego driven emotion that wants all the limelight to be on us rather than shared. Jealousy stops us from seeing and understanding that sometimes we will be up and sometimes we will be down. Sometimes we will lead and sometimes we will be led. Sometimes we will win and sometimes we will lose. Sometimes it is our turn to be on centre stage and other times it is the turn of others.

And when we accept we are always being tested by the Universe to see what it is we truly want out of life, we will learn that jealousy has no place in our lives. That it is there only to keep us away from our own strengths by keeping us bogged down by our own weakness. And not the weakness of others.

When we become mired in jealousy nothing about us feels good causing us to project dark energy. Repelling people from us rather than attracting them to us. When jealousy is directed against us and people do and say things to try to diminish us what we must tell ourselves is that is their lesson to learn, their karma to inherit and their trial to endure. It has nothing to do with us at all. Just with them.

As long we are living our lives with integrity, truth and from a place of genuine love and light, no amount of falseness, jealousy or mal intent can ever touch us or hurt us. When we are living our lives as authentically as we can, “sticks and stones may break our bones but names will never hurt us”. Unless we invite them in. Allow them in.

So whenever we feel that ego driven emotion of jealousy rearing its head, we are being asked to examine the image we see in the mirror to determine what it is about ourselves we need to learn, to tackle, to surmount. It is never about the other person. It is always about us. Our feelings of lack and inadequacy. And once we learn this, we will see and understand there is enough abundance in this world, enough love and light in our universe, that there is no need for any of us to try to hog the spotlight, to try to diminish the light of others in order to illuminate our own.

What we learn most of all is when we try to diminish the light of another, we are diminishing our own light because we are all of the same light – the One Source. So rather than try to diminish, we need to help to illuminate such that collectively we can all shine as brightly as we are meant to. If only we would remember this when jealousy rears its ugly head because if we did our lives would be that much easier. That much brighter. Full of love and light. Imagine just how liberating that would be. Namaste

We humans are strange creatures

The weather has been very bizarre for Bermuda. It is August and it is supposed to be sunny and hot. But the months and seasons seem to be confused. It feels more like April or May and Spring rather than August and summer. We have had so much rain it is unbelievable. My grass is almost up to my knees because of the abundance of rain.

The days are already growing shorter. The light giving way to the darkness earlier and earlier each night. And resisting waking up til later each morning. Feeling more and more like Autumn is taking over and summer is almost gone.

Where has the summer gone? Where has time gone? Where is the summer sun? Scorching us letting us know it is at its end? That’s what we come to expect in August. The desire to say be gone heat. We’re ready for you coolness. But for some reason it is not there for us this year. We get pockets of it where the heat is so intense we wish it would rain. And then when it rains we wish for the sun.

We humans are strange creatures always lamenting about what we don’t have. Wishing for what’s not there rather than appreciating what is there. Taking me to a conversation I had last night with my daughter and niece about hair. About how we are never appreciative of the hair we have. My daughter wishing she could have an afro. Her hair, too curly too mixed to ever for an afro. Me telling her if I had hair like hers I would never complain. My niece telling me I would complain because we always want what we can’t have.

So true. So true. We focus so much on the faults sometimes that we don’t see the abundance and beauty we have right in front of us. That we are always given what we need rather than what we want. Always given what we can truly handle not what we think we can. Always given what we honestly and truly ask for deep down in our souls.

I am looking out the window at the red sky. At the red puffy clouds as the morning light is slowly but surely taking over from the dark night. And I know for a fact based on those clouds that we will have some more rain, possibly some more thunder and more unseasonal weather than seasonal. But now I will adjust my thinking to be grateful rather than resentful for whatever weather we may get because it means I am here to see it. Living and breathing. Experiencing yet another moment of life. Ready for another day.

And if nothing else, that is more than enough to be grateful for. Waking up and seeing this dawning of a new day even if I wish I could change my hair as does my daughter as do most of us, at least we have hair. Think of all those who do not for various reasons.

To be grateful for every single thing in our lives allows us to open to the more, to the abundance that is freely available for us. So despite the strange August weather, my hair not cooperating, and all the other things I could complain about, I am grateful to be here and that is worth more than any of my small laments. My small complaints. Life truly is wonderful and abundant. Namaste.

Choice taken away from me

Running here and there. Searching here and there. Too much to do. So little time. Deadlines loom.  Tired. Restless. Exhausted. Until my body collapses under my own rushing. Collapses from going too much. Doing too much. Trying to be all things to all people except myself. Until my body gives out. Tired of crying out for rest. It takes it itself. Forcing me to stop. Forcing me to rest. As it did yesterday.

I woke up yesterday morning congested, fatigued and dizzy. All I wanted to do was go back to bed and sleep. To close my eyes and remain behind my closed lids in the world of in-between. In the world where imaginations are free to roam. Where thought is free to be what it wants to be.

My body had been warning me since Friday that it was not well. That it needed time to repair itself. But I was just too busy to listen to it so I kept ignoring it. Pushing the warnings to the background. Saturday the warnings became more urgent. My head was heavy. Throat sore. Eyes swollen. Muscles ached but I still did not listen. I had too much to do. Ailments could not stop me. I forged on.

Until Sunday when my body gave out. My cells had worked too hard to keep me going. My limbs too weak to lift up. My soul saying enough. Go to bed. Stay in bed. So I acquiesced. I had no choice. Nothing was right. Nothing felt right. Except rest. So I slept and slept.

And then I got a surprise on top of my cold and flulike symptoms, my menopause that I thought I had completed, paused as well. Giving me back my chance of becoming a mother again. A phase of my life I thought had ended. So there I was in bed with cramps and pain too. Wondering what in the world was going on with me. Was I regressing instead of progressing was that what the Universe was trying to tell me. That I needed to be more present rather than everywhere but where I was meant to be.

I lay in bed all day yesterday. Letting go of the desire to be doing instead just being. Sleeping and listening to my body, mind and spirit. Watching For Coloured Girls only. A movie I always wanted to see. Seeing that when we make choices that aren’t good for us. When we know they are not good for us, they eventually come back to haunt us. Frighten us. Take away things we always wanted. Take away the very things that mean the most to us. So we need to be careful about the choices we continue to make because they may lead us down a path we never intended to take.

As I learnt yesterday when my body took control off my mind and collapsed under the fatigue of me trying to be everything to everyone else but to myself. Allowing me the opportunity to watch a movie. Something I have not done for a long time. Without guilt to feeling I needed to be anywhere else but where I was.

Okay inner voice I'm listening

My computer has been giving up on me for a few weeks now. Shutting down unexpectedly. Or not shutting down at all. But I have been refusing to take heed of the sign. Refusing to let it go because it is sop much a part of me. That every day I sit down to do something on it. Thinking it will hold out for a while more. Not backing things up on it. Not sending things to the cloud. But thinking it will not fail me. Overriding my instincts saying to use my tablet and admit that my desktop is on its last leg.

But this morning, it taught me just how silly I have been. I had just completed my meditation with Deepak and Oprah on Miraculous Union  and was starting to write my blog. A blog that felt really good. A blog based on what I got out of the meditation. And as I was in the flow of it, I looked up and there were only 4 complete words on the screen and part of the fifth. I had been writing for about 5 minutes only to find my thoughts had not made it to the screen.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to smash my computer. I was so upset. And when I calmed down I realised it was not my computer’s fault for the mess I was in. It was my own fault for not listening to my inner voice. For not listening to my computer telling me it was at the end of the line. That technology does not last for more than three years anymore before it starts to fall apart. That we are living in a disposable time where nothing is meant to last. And I had to get used to it or I too would become a dinosaur – extinct.

And what I also realised is the blog I was writing was not meant for today either. That I was being led to self-reflect. To know that I need to listen to my inner voice more. To go where I am being led by it rather than pushing ahead and doing what I know does not feel good to me. Because when I sat down at my computer this morning, every cell in my body was telling me to not use my desktop but to use my tablet instead. I failed to listen and now I am suffering the consequences.

My frozen desktop is my lesson for today. To listen and take heed of my inner voice. It will never lead me astray. My ego on the other hand as well as my desire to control what is beyond my capabilities will all the time. So begrudgingly I know I have to start letting go of my desktop. To find a way to move everything I have on it to the cloud so I can still access it on another device and call it a day. Hopefully I have not waited too long. Hopefully I will still be able to salvage what I have.

I also have to be grateful for the fact that there is a cloud and there is a possibility I will be able to restore my writings on my new tablet. Keep your fingers crossed I am able.

And for my lesson on listening to my inner voice and for having a backup device to continue to write, I am truly grateful. Okay inner voice I am listening, ok.