Starting all over again

I started to write a blog last night and my computer crashed right in the middle of me getting in the flow. I was so shocked because that's never happened to me before. Words, thoughts, stripped from me before I had the chance to fully develop them. Stolen from me before I knew where they were taking me. Devastated because I felt they were taking me someplace I had not been before and would probably never go again.
So I stopped and breathed. Assessing the moment and the why. And then I knew when my computer crashed the words, thoughts were taking me where I was not meant to be. And the Universe intervened to put me on the path I needed to be on. So I sucked up my pride and my hurt and started all over again. This time from a different place. From a different angle.
First listening to the silence. Then when I felt the words coming again. I just let them flow. Realising that sometimes where we think we are heading is not where we are meant to be. And when we keep heading in the direction we are not meant to be heading, we run head long into a brick wall knocking us flat on our backs. Shocking us back into our existence so we can see we were not going where our heart was telling us to go. Not doing what felt right for us. Failed to listen to the warning signs and take heed of them. Instead we plowed along until we could plow no more. Until the Universe intervened and caused us to stop. To be still. To listen. To fall flat on our backs so we could get up off our backs again. Dust ourselves off and start all over again.
Hopefully this time listening to the warning signs. This time taking heed. This time trusting that all knowing voice inside - always there for us. That same voice that was telling me to remember to save my words. To stop every few seconds and save what I was typing but because I was on a roll, because the juices were flowing and the words were spilling on the page, I did not want to stop. Could not stop. Refused to stop because I was so excited about where I was going that I failed to see what was happening all around me until my computer took matters into its own hand. Crashed on me. And my words and excitement were no more. Leaving me speechless and devastated. Watching my screen spew out a strange language.
Until all that remained was the all too familiar and dreaded screen that says, "He's dead Jim." And my heart nearly stopped. My excitement drained right out of my toes and I was about to give up. To shut down my computer when I was told otherwise. Told I was being given an invaluable lesson that I needed to remember for myself. And one that I needed to share. So I started again. Listening carefully to my inner voice. Allowing it the freedom and scope to use me as an instrument for its message. And then I started to type again. Feeling hope flooding through me.
Letting me know even when we feel we can't go on. Even when we feel like the world around us has grown cold and dark. When those who we loved are no longer in  our lives, there is always reason to be grateful. Always reason to continue because each one of us is here to teach and learn. To learn and teach. To stop and save.  To save and stop. To share and love. To love and share.
And so here I am again in the flow. A different flow than what I had anticipated but a flow nonetheless because I am accepting my life is unfolding as it is meant to unfold at this moment in time in my life and I am grateful to be living and breathing through it. Grateful for having the wherewithal to write another blog and just go for it.
Accepting sometimes we have to wipe the slate clean as my computer did for me last night in order to start all over again in the way that allows our souls to sing songs of freedom and acceptance.  To embrace the mystery that is us. Namaste.
Happy Monday everyone from Houston Texas.

The world wide web connecting us

There are a lot of light workers emerging. Globally. People from all walks of life unifying across the globe through  spirit. Energy. Connecting in ways we believed impossible before. Although we have always been inherently and inextricably linked, it is through the world wide web, we are truly witnessing and seeing that we are.

Receiving validation and connection almost instantaneously through the Power of the worldwide web. The web that is weaving us back together. Showing us how alike we really are regardless of where we come from. Regardless of our social standing. Regardless of our race, creed or religious beliefs. At the base of all of us is the need to love and to be loved.

There is a groundswell of people emerging opening dialogue for people that would never have been opened before. Challenging us to think with our hearts rather than their heads. Enabling wonder, love and joy to spread throughout our globe. From one continent to the next. One from Island to the next. People of like mind and similar energies are connecting like never before. Finding each other. Stumbling upon each other.  Being brought together to help with our shift in consciousness. The web is showing us there is a web beyond the web formed way before the human web was designed. And that’s why we yearn for it. Spend hours on it because we are yearning for love, for validation, for connection.

The world wide web created by humans and the world wide web that was there before humans invented it are joining forces to opening the door to the more. To the shift necessary to move us forward to spread love, peace, acceptance, forgiveness, compassion, surrender, and validation. Connecting people of all walks of life, globally every single second, minute, hour of every day. 

And because of this growing positive and light energy, there is an equal and opposite swell of negative and dark energy. Contrasting against the light. Dueling with it. With us to see who we are and who we are not. Causing us to question whether we are doing what we are meant to be doing. Causing us to listen to our heads rather than our hearts. Opposing all the light that is swirling round us. Stabbing at it. Jabbing at us. Asking us to leave the light and embrace the dark.

Illustrating for us in ways incomprehensible before about the dichotomy of life, the duality of our existence, the closer we get to the prize. By showing us how much further away from the prize we become when we are too focused on the prize rather than on the journey, we lose out on the gifts, treasures and abundance of the Universe. Because we end up compromising who and what we are. We end up looking so blindly ahead that we don’t give ourselves the time to enjoy what is right in front of us. Waiting for us.

We become selfish. Embracing the scarcity mentality. Hoarding for ourselves rather than sharing the love and talents we have with everyone so they in turn can grow with us rather than against us.

And that's why there are a lot of light workers emerging in our world. Connecting us in ways we did not understand until the emergence of the world wide human web mirroring the universal web that existed way before the one we have today.  Pulling us. Willing us. Asking us to go within. To see that we are truly and honestly beautiful just the way we are when we accept who we are rather than being something we are not and can never be.

Showing us we are inextricably woven and connected no matter where we come from, no matter what we believe. No matter our standing in life. We are of the energy that created our world. Each tiny atom reacting to the energy we put into it. And that’s why I embrace and love the light workers, including myself, who are coming forward raising our awareness to the field of possibility that exists within us all when we believe. When we share. When we love. When we have faith, trust and believe. Namaste

Life is a living meditation

We are only ever being led back home to ourselves. Everything, everyone is here to teach us something. Life is a living meditation. Telling us to stop. To slow down so we can experience the fullness of our meditation. Embrace who we are and be available to ourselves.  To allow our heart centers to open to the voice of the Divine that resides within us all.

We have both an inner eye and inner ear. And when we allow ourselves to be guided by both, we become aware that what is happening to us and around us is an opportunity to feel who we are. To be available to the emotions we are feeling. Seeing what is there to teach us. Embracing it and accepting it as a pivotal part of our evolution.

All we need to know and believe is that we are a part of the Divine. No matter what comes our way, we will be okay. The more we embrace our fears, our insecurities, our hurt, our pain, the less their dominance will be over us. Any and all things we embrace no longer have control over us. 

Fear is natural.On Super Soul Sunday, Panache Desai told the story of the zebra being hunted by cheetahs. How the zebras see the clear and present danger of the cheetah hunting them down so their brain puts them in flight mode. Telling them to run. So they do. And when the danger is no longer there, they shake it off and go back to being in the present moment. Forgetting about the fear that had been. Letting go because the fear no longer serves them.

We, as humans, don’t focus on our heart centers imbued with love and forgiveness. Instead we allow our brain, our thoughts to hold onto fear way beyond the time it is necessary. Overriding our heart centers. When the danger situation is no longer present in our lives, we still carry that fear with us and extend it on to others to validate the fear. We look for reasons in other circumstances or people or continue to blame someone who may have forgotten about why we are angry with them for the fear we still carry. We need to learn to shake what no longer serves us off and move on.

Fear does not need to dominate our lives. We need to accept we are put in exactly the place we need to be to love the people we are around.

When we can shift our way to believing life is just wonderful, to be present. Being fully available to and for the experience. Learning that life isn't just about the lessons we are meant to learn but it is about the experience.  We begin to understand that Life is all about our magnificence. Only then can we come into our own. Letting go of our programmed and deepest fear that we are brilliant beyond measure.

Everything that is happening is supposed to happen and no matter what unfolds in our lives, remembering always our lives are a part of the greater plan. Energy is the essence of who we are, what we are, connecting us all together. And when only one of us changes through the thread of life we affect every living thing in our energy space because we are all interconnected. What one does affects the lives of us all. We must learn to trust the Universe is on our side. Accept that we are all Energy emanating from the One Source. 

Embracing the concept we are many. And even more importantly, we are one. Namaste.

At our deepest level, we are energy @Panache Desai

Watching Super Soul Sunday with Panache Desai and Oprah Winfrey on Sunday was another gift from the Universe. Panache Desai said, “At our deepest level, we are energy....Energy is the invisible tapestry that animates life”.  How beautiful and powerful are these statements. Think about them. Energy is what dictates how we feel, our expression and who we are and it is apparent in all creations. It is the invisible thread that weaves and holds us all together. 

We connect to other peoples’ energy. Desai says when we look at still water, we see it mirrors back everything around it perfectly.  Still water cannot mirror back what is not there. Therefore allowing us to understand why we react the way we do to others and others to us because we are mirroring back what we see and feel from their energy.

We are so busy trying to be everything to others that we have judged ourselves out of our own magnificence says Desai. We have brought into everyone else’s judgment of us, of the world that we have forgotten our feelings matter as well. Consequently we have moved so far away from center.

Yet we are not lost. We are always found when we remember to tap back into the energy force. And most of all we have to be responsible for the energy we bring into the room. To have the awareness we are energy. Born of energy. To understand just how important it is to understand the power of our own energy. The power it has to shift situations from good to bad or bad to good. Because we are responsible for the energy we bring into the room.

Desai says humans are the only species that goes into therapy. Because we are the only species that dwells in a place we can never be again, the past or a place we can never be, the future. We are only here in this present moment. And it is here that we must learn to dwell. Shedding our attachments to whatever happened in the past. Letting go of our expectations of what is to come in the future. And instead living this present moment we are in because this is all we have got. All we will ever have. Therefore we need to bring our best energy into the moment we are in.

We must release our attachment to ego and take back our magnificence by not empowering everyone else over ourselves. We have unlimited potential even in our darkest hour. When we mess up it is a call to bring us into something greater. An opportunity for us to reconnect with and to what is important. Life is trying to speak to us every second, every minute, every hour of every single day. Life tries to tell us, show us, make us aware that everything that happens, happens because it is meant to help us grow.

Challenging us to ask ourselves where is it that the Divine is not. The Divine infuses everything, nature, our enemies, our emotions, our fears, our ego, life itself. Therefore we have to make life our practice and accept every circumstance, every person, everything as the doorway to the Divine. As a present from the Universe to help us grow. Letting go. Surrendering. Checking our energy at the door before we enter any room because we are responsible for the energy we bring. 

Energy is the life force that connects us all together sending ripple effects throughout our Universe by every action we take. Which effect do you want to be responsible for bringing with the energy you are projecting? Remembering always "at our deepest level, we are energy." Woven together by its powerful and invisible thread. Namaste.

A lesson from the Aztecs

I am receiving messages from the Universe. I am receiving message from people. From circumstances. That I have a gift I am not using. And that gift is my gift of feeling and understanding energy.  Not just my own but the energy of people that come into my space. I always know the answer whenever I am confronted with a question. I always know the essence of the person who enters my space. But because of my human conditioning of using my head instead of my heart, I often dismiss the gut reaction I get. The initial feeling. My heart center speaking to me. My inner voice.

So the Universe is taking matters into its own hands because I am not accepting of my worthiness and gifts and treasures by showing me the hard way not to overturn the initial feelings I feel when I am in the presence of others.  I am being shown the hard way because I am not listening to my inner voice. Not listening to the silence. Not listening to the beat of my heart. The change in my heart. The message of my heart enough. So the lessons, the experiences I am receiving are becoming tougher and tougher. Touching at my heart. Forcing me to experience pain and surprise and disappointment. Rather than accepting what I already know.

And I got the message from my son and daughter the other day when we were discussing the Aztecs. When my son said, “You know mommy, the Aztec believed the heart controlled us.” I was driving at the time and I remember the feeling that rushed through my body when he spoke. Almost as if I was being awakened from the darkness.  My whole being began to tingle when he spoke those words. Because I knew those words. I knew the meaning of what he was telling me on a much deeper level.

I told my son that the Aztecs were not wrong. That we are in fact ruled by our heart. Our heart center is the place that drives all of our emotions. The place that beats too quickly when we are excited, scared, challenged. The place that always know when a situation is good for us or bad for us. Our heart regulates us to do what we are meant to do. Our heart is where our pure existence resides.  Our pure Bliss. Our pure consciousness. Our heart center is where our essence self resides. It is here that the base of who we are resides. Because it is from our heart centers that we learn pure and unconditional love. The love of self first before we can love any other.

If we do not and cannot love self then we will not and  cannot love another deeply or unconditionally. And if we do not and cannot love ourselves, we will try our best to destroy the love we see in others because then it would explain why we feel the way we do.

Despite receiving this message, I let it go until I was talking to my Spiritual Mother yesterday about certain developments in my life. And the conversation I had with my children came back to me asking me to repeat the story to her. To bring the story of the Aztecs back to the forefront to remind me my heart center is where the answers lie. Because it is my heart center that always knows. To not think too much about why I am where I am but to accept I am where I am because I have chosen to be here. To remind me to listen to the beat of my heart, the feelings I get whenever I am in the presence of someone or something that challenges me because I have the gift of reading energies. Accepting I am worthy of this gift. The gift of the beat of my heart. The gift of listening to my inner voice and to read the energies of those who enter my space. Namaste.

No greater gift than the gift of love

Yesterday my husband and I did something beautiful for our anniversary. We gave each other to each other as a gift this year. Carving time out of our busy schedules to really be present with each other.  Taking a day away from life to be fully present in each other’s life. Remembering why we fell in love with each other all those years ago and it was a glorious day for us.

We did nothing but lock ourselves in our home and just focused on us. Doing nothing but being together and it was lovely. No pressure to prove ourselves to anyone. People kept asking me what we were giving each other for our twenty first anniversary. And the more I thought about it, the more I realised we spend so much time concentrating on the material side of giving rather than on the spiritual and soul side of giving that we overlook what each of really really wants from the other.

My husband and I kept asking each other what we should do to honour our twenty one years of marriage. The year before when celebrated our twentieth, we spent a day and night away at a hotel. This time my desire was simple. And so was my husband’s. We did not want to do the same as we did the year before because we felt hitting twenty years was monumental. So we wanted a way to celebrate this year that was special for us and us alone. And not the same as the year before.

During this process of trying to decide, it dawned on us that what we really wanted was to spend quality time together as husband and wife. To be really present with each other.  To be number one in each other’s day. We wanted more than superficial gift giving, we wanted the pure and honest gift of each other. We wanted something more enduring and meaningful. The gift that cost nothing but is priceless.

We realized the one thing we can never buy or be unsatisfied with is the gift of quality time together. Time spent reconnecting and sharing love. Time spent away from the normal and escaping to the privacy of why we are a couple in the first place. And it was truly an escape day for my husband and me because we relaxed in the moment. Not worrying about what happened the day before or what was going to happen the day after. We just were with each other.

And it is a gift I highly recommend giving more and more. I know it is a gift we will be giving to each other more and more. The gift of us. The gift of being in each other’s presence. The gift of validation, appreciation and love all tied up in the bow of the years we have been together. The years we have loved each other, hated each other, challenged each other and remained even when it was difficult to do so. Remain because we see something in each other that is worth sustaining. And so yesterday we acknowledged the work we put into our marriage, our family and into each other by rewarding ourselves with the gift of each other. What gift can be any better than that?

Underneath all that we are, love is what we are seeking. Only love. And when we take the time to acknowledge the love we have in our lives freely every single day, we allow it to grow stronger, more enduring, more compassionate, more patient and more kind. And in the process we grow as well. Here’s to another 21 years of marriage – remembering always to carve out some time to be truly present for each other. Undividedly so.  Recognising there is no greater gift than the gift of love. 

Writing is like a parody of life

I am finding this morning that life is very much like writing. When you try to force an outcome that is not meant to be or direct your thoughts in a way that is not meant to be, all you get is gibberish and falseness. And that’s what my writing did to me this morning. I was trying too hard to be too profound. Trying too hard to teach a lesson rather than be the lesson. Trying too hard to teach a lesson rather than experiencing life.

Writing like life can’t be false and can’t be done to other’s expectations. It has to be done from a place deep down in my soul. A place I have no control over. A place where ego is not allowed to enter. The only thing there is my soul. As Panache Desai said yesterday on Super Soul Sunday, the place where my Soul Signature resides. The place where my soul and love and inner essence reside. The place where my inner eye and inner ear are allowed to be without contradiction. Without expectation. Or without the judgment of others.

So this morning I decided to stop trying. To take the time to listen to my inner guide asking me to stop and listen to it. To stop trying to be someone I am not. To stop trying to appease my ego or anyone else that may have expectations of me. And instead to experience the mixed up feelings I am experiencing. The pain I am feeling. The fear I am feeling. The love I am feeling. Accepting everything I am feeling so those feelings can be my experience of life to enable me to see what it is that I want out of life and what I do not.

To not try to suppress them, or ignore them or pretend they do not exist because feelings are as real as we are and when we try to hide them, we fuel them, giving them the power to become bigger than what we ever imagined. Allowing them to grow into beasts that overpower us and cause us to do things we do not want to do. Like lash out at others and accuse them of being something they are not because we are projecting our feelings of insecurity onto them. Trying to control them into being what we expect them to be rather than accepting them for who they are.

So there I let my inner voice guide me to what I was meant to write. To where I was supposed to be this morning rather than dictating to it. Rather than trying to be something I am not and what happened is I wrote from my soul. From my spirit. And it flowed so nicely without stops and starts. Without doubt. Without fear. Without ego. Because writing is just like life, it can’t be forced and it can’t be what is not meant to be.

Happy Sunny Monday morning everyone. A new week. A new beginning. A new start to this present moment in our lives. As long as remember we can only be in this present moment. Not in the past and not in the future. Namaste.